I have a friend, who I spend quite a bit of time with but don't seem to actually know that well. We're part of a friendship group that has two quite different common interests. Both mostly male orientated, so we go out quite a bit in a group of mostly men, us the only women. I'm probably closer friends with some of the men, but e.g. if we go away we'll share a room.
Anyway, recently she hasn't been herself, with me or the others. She doesn't respond to messages for days, if at all, often doesn't turn up to our group things that previously she wouldn't have missed.
She has previously told me she's not happy and life hasn't turned out the way she hoped (40s, single, no kids). She has a good job but she works incredibly long hours, I think partly to "hide" from real life, but I know she also feels some work stress. She also has a fairly complex family, lots of brothers and sisters with complicated lives and it seems to fall to her to solve everyone's problems.
Anyway, I keep reaching out. When she does come out with us, I try to give her openings for a chat, I've offered a coffee/beer, I message to ask what I can do. Sometimes she replies something bland, sometimes she doesn't even do that. Tonight she's responded to a message I sent almost a week ago, saying she will pull herself together and that my checking in is enough.
Do I leave it at that, or suggest a coffee, Sunday afternoon, which is the next time I'm free? I don't want to add to her stress by giving her another thing to do/avoid, but I really do feel she needs some help/support and I don't think anyone else is looking out for her.