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Original poster

Child leaving school - WWYD

35 replies

cleaningandbathing · 22/02/2024 20:49

DS will be leaving school on 31 May as he is going to college in September. He is 15, 16 in July (in Scotland so this is ok) and is sitting his exams in May.

College starts in September so he’s home for 3 months or 13 weeks over the Summer. As a family we have 2 weeks away in August, I have another 4 days booked off work in July and he will have camp with his hobby for a week so all in, we’ve covered 4 of the 13 weeks. We aren’t sure what to do about the other weeks. We are just us, no grandparents or extended family to help.

At the moment, we think it best that I take parental leave or even informal unpaid leave from work - employer open to this. Neither DH or I can WFH and we both work full time.

I have a week off in April, a week off in October and one more week unallocated at the moment. I’d like to keep the unallocated week, if possible as our year end isn’t until Christmas and I am not sure I could do August until December with no break. I am just adding here while I remember, DH has no other leave available over the Summer as his work is fully booked and has been for over a year so him using more is not an option.

I am thinking that I take April and October has unpaid leave and use those 10 days to cut my week from 5 days to 3 over 5 weeks. Financially we could cope with two weeks unpaid if they are 6 months apart. This still leaves him few weeks on his own but more manageable.

The other option is to just ask for a 3 day week over the entire summer. Financially, this would be tough week after week not being fully paid. I do want to give my employer options though.

Once his exams are out of the way, DS will be looking to get a part time job. We do live semi rurally so options are difficult and limited. I am not sure anyone will take on a 15 year old for anything more than weekend work. There is a chance of seasonal work where we live but those employers aren't looking at the moment. They’ve said after Easter/closer to summer.

What would you do? Does either option sound ok, can you suggest anything else? Thanks for your thoughts.

OP posts:
Isthisexpected · 22/02/2024 20:52

What are your concerns? Loneliness? Boredom? Vulnerability? Behaviour if unsupervised?

Having a summer off before college whilst parents are at work is the norm no?

LIZS · 22/02/2024 20:53

Is there a reason he cannot amuse himself and needs supervision? Any volunteering opportunities, NCS, Lifeguarding certificate etc he could do?

mynameiscalypso · 22/02/2024 20:57

I'd have been pretty annoyed when I was his age if my parents were hanging around all summer. I spent most of that long summer watching TV, reading, chilling out etc.

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KCSIE · 22/02/2024 20:57

Isthisexpected · 22/02/2024 20:52

What are your concerns? Loneliness? Boredom? Vulnerability? Behaviour if unsupervised?

Having a summer off before college whilst parents are at work is the norm no?

This. And also, have you asked him what he wants to do?

What are his peers doing? Has he got any friends you could share childcare with their parents too, if needed?

elizzza · 22/02/2024 20:58

I think must parents with a 15/16 year old just work as normal and let them have the summer off. He’ll laze around a bit, hang out with his friends a lot, eventually get desperate for money and try to barter with you in exchange for household job… Are there specific circumstances for your son that means he needs supervision?

Original poster
cleaningandbathing · 22/02/2024 20:58

Isthisexpected · 22/02/2024 20:52

What are your concerns? Loneliness? Boredom? Vulnerability? Behaviour if unsupervised?

Having a summer off before college whilst parents are at work is the norm no?

Thanks for responding. Turning night into day, all day gaming, boredom and loneliness. His school friends are mainly staying on at school so they will be in school throughout June until the start of the school holidays.

OP posts:
2dogsandabudgie · 22/02/2024 20:58

Can't he meet up with friends as they will all be leaving school as well once exams are finished.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 22/02/2024 20:59

Why do you need to take time off work? He's a young adult, not a young child?

mynameiscalypso · 22/02/2024 21:01

It's one of the few chances he'll have in his life to sleep all day/game all night etc. I'd just let him get on with it and maybe encourage him to get some daylight from time to time

Spacecowboys · 22/02/2024 21:06

I haven’t made plans to take any longer off work than I normally would, which is two weeks during the summer period. I expect my dc to laze about for the first couple of weeks ( which he will deserve after all the stress of gcses ). He’ll also spend time with his friends and look at getting a part time job somewhere. I don’t think you need to worry about this at his age. Teenagers who are 15-16 are usually quite content doing their own thing.

Original poster
cleaningandbathing · 22/02/2024 21:06

Thanks all.

Where we live is difficult. We don’t live on a bus route so being off means we are on hand to get him into town etc. His closest friends aren’t leaving school this year. They are going back which means they are in school until the holidays start at the end of June. He doesn’t need supervised at all. He does like the house to himself but gets bored.

OP posts:
Movingalong1 · 22/02/2024 21:06

I would look at something like NCS it’s a 5 days away can choose what type would suit him best. Or maybe some volunteering at that age I was happy just sleeping watching tv and chatting to my mates but I also do other things so it wasn’t all spent rotting in my bedroom.

Mum1976Mum · 22/02/2024 21:07

I can’t agree with the other posters saying let him do absolutely nothing productive for that amount of time. What a waste of life. Plus I think anyone would get lonely having no company all day for that long. I would try to get him to attend NCS or similar, meet up with friends for the day, maybe a few days a week volunteering somewhere which would be useful for his CV, and have a day off or 2 with him each week to do something nice together. He’d still have lots of hanging around/gaming time.

sleepyscientist · 22/02/2024 21:13

I would let him have June to game all night and sleep all day. If you're really worried about him getting board could you give him some cash for a couple of Ubers? Arrange a few after work treats like cinema, family bowling etc if you think he needs the parent:child time. At 16 I would have been happy in the house.

OldTinHat · 22/02/2024 21:14

Can he not get a PT job? A cafe, shelf stacking, something like that?

You certainly don't need to babysit him. Actually, I was paid for babysitting when I was 14 as well as having a job in a chemist at weekends and holidays.

Give him some independence and trust.

OldTinHat · 22/02/2024 21:17

Just seen mentions about NCS. My DC did this and it was four weeks. Is it only five days now?

Psychoticbreak · 22/02/2024 21:18

If you lived in Ireland your child would have 3 solid months off every single year in secondary school. Boredom wont kill him. A few months of doing nothing wont kill him - has not killed any of my three!

Lucy377 · 22/02/2024 21:20

Well look, yeah it's boring but why not let him game if that's what he likes?
Had he friends online who will be off? Gaming is a great way to keep in touch with friends esp if you live rural with no transport.

SameSameButDeliverance · 22/02/2024 21:21

God, I LOVED having the house to myself when my parents were at work. A whole summer was my idea of heaven!

Let him have the summer to chill, game and meet his mates when they finish. You taking all that time off is madness, absolute madness.

Had he got a bike? He can cycle to his mates, surely?

MotherJessAndKittens · 22/02/2024 21:22

He may get seasonal work. Does he cycle as that would help him to get around? He'll have to get himself to college and back in the autumn. If he has a part time job then I would leave him to his own devices. You could pay him to do housework

Lucy377 · 22/02/2024 21:22

The lad has no transport and they live in the arse end of nowhere I take it.
Do they go and live away from home for college at 16 in Scotland?

Galeforcewindatmywindow · 22/02/2024 21:24

He's 15...nearly 16.. He will bloody love it! Leave him alone....

Porfirio · 22/02/2024 21:29

Can he do a student exchange somewhere?

Rosindub · 22/02/2024 21:34

MotherJessAndKittens · 22/02/2024 21:22

He may get seasonal work. Does he cycle as that would help him to get around? He'll have to get himself to college and back in the autumn. If he has a part time job then I would leave him to his own devices. You could pay him to do housework

Yes, my bicycle was my lifeline at that age. I am old enough to be from the era when parents did not play taxi.

Wheresthescissors · 22/02/2024 21:35

If he gets a weekend job, and then lazes about on weekdays, that sounds fine to me. What's he going to do at college? Could he pursue anything connected to that in the summer? No way can you take unpaid time off your work in order to drive him to a part time job somewhere!

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