Fed up of smug, superior parents.

[Fiatpuntoo]

Really tired of meeting smug, superior mums at the school gates & at extracurriculars.
Their child is always better & they let you know this.
There is one mum who writes normally on the WhatsApp class group. However if I post something she replies in abbreviated text as in "tomo, U2, wat u tink? She only does this to me noone else! The same when she messages me about a playdate! It's bizarre.

But when I meet her at activities or school drop offs she clearly feels her & her family are vastly superior to mine!

Anyone else have these superior species & how do you deal with them?

agree with others, next time say ‘thanks xx but I haven’t a clue what you have written there! Can you use plain English to help me out’ maybe a puzzled 🤔 if you use those.

Then continue with the same until she stops. Then rise above it and dont give her anymore headspace.

Thanks. It's like she is trying to make me appear ditzy or as if I can't comprehend simple English... That she has to simplify it for me.

Just be polite and kind and get on with your own life. I’m surprised at how many mumsnet posts agonise over imaginary insults or tiny social mistakes. Many people are stressed right now, I try to bring positivity to all my encounters

If I had to hazard a guess I'd say you've used text speak at some point, and she's mocking you for it.

But I agree with the majority of posters - treat people how you want to be treated, ignore stupid little digs, be secure in the knowledge that they are the ones making tits of themselves and it means nothing to you in the scheme of things.

So I'd either ignore her messages altogether or just reply that you don't understand them.

No, I don't know anyone superior to me 😊

You have two options

1. Ask her why she uses short hand text with you

2. ignore her 100% and block

I'm passed all that silliness now but nothing used to wind be up like those silly pompous two faced parents at primary school. It felt like they should have been in the classroom.

@decionsdecisions62 and the hierarchy of parents too. Some obviously think me & my lovely dc are shit on their shoe.

If I was one of the other parents and saw she was mocking you I would think much less of her. Even if you did speak in text speak it’s nasty to mock someone. Reply with the laugh react, she looks like a fool.

I never even joined class WhatsApp groups.

Problem solved.

You really have more issues that school parents you really could do with getting some professional assistance to work through this

Neither do l.

And if l did, l’d ignore or challenge.

Its about self esteem not perceived superiority.

Say her child is called Bob I’d be replying “Bob, give mummy her phone back.”

I’m sure the other parents don’t give you (or any of the other parents) enough thought to have such strong emotions towards you - why would they?

I kindly suggest that maybe you could look into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and perhaps seek some treatment if it resonates.

In terms of the strange text speak mum, as previous posters have said, pull her up every time by saying you have no idea what is happening and what her abbreviations mean.

@OolongTeaDrinker me and about a thousand other mums who post about this experience year after year. I could give more details to convince you but it's not my thread and why should I?

Stop gaslighting other women and scroll on by if you think it's trivial!

I wouldn't pretend that you don't understand because it'll seem petty and disingenuous to other people in the group. I would possibly just respond with a long-ish message in regular English or if you do want to say something I'd address it directly in a jokey way "I always have to read your messages twice due to the text speak! 😂 Anyway thanks so much for the info, appreciate you letting me know!"

I would text her back the same way, but text everyone else normally, see how she likes it

What is this hanging around at the school gate scene that people talk of? I have never in 10 years stood at the school gate! I find it very odd…and how do you know what she’s thinking anyway?

You sound a little paranoid.

Same, I am thinking some people are bored with pick up and need to feel this

I quite like the “I tink, therefore I am” reply.

It kind of takes the piss back, but in a humorous way.

Or just, ‘Que?’.

I wouldn't see that as condescending. Maybe she's on a phone for one type of message, and on a laptop for the clearly typed ones. Are the abbreviated ones at a specific time of day?

I think you're reading too much into it. And even is she is trying to convey something else, just ignore her. She isn't anyone important. It doesn't matter.

I can’t believe anybody wastes time obsessing over trivialities like this.

I hear you. If it were me I think I’d have to speak to her about it. And be really honest.

So next time she’s collecting from a play date say something like:

”I must ask you, hope you don’t mind. I have noticed that when you text me in the group WhatsApp - and privately - you use text speak for me but no one else. I find it a bit jarring and wondered why?”

The wonderful thing is when your kids go to secondary you never have to speak to other parents ever again if you don’t want to. It’s very freeing binning off the toxic ones and keeping the nice ones.

It’s not gaslighting to point out to someone that it is highly unlikely random people they see on the school run are some in kind of weird hierarchy and spend all their time thinking about other people. Most people have their head full of stuff that’s relevant to them, and don’t give people who start these kinds of threads a second thought - why would they?

This is a discussion board not an echo chamber so it’s actually ok for me to comment any way I want even if you don’t think so 🙄 Also when did I mention the word ‘trivial’ - are you trying to gaslight me? 😂

(edited as hadn’t finished typing and accidentally pressed the send button!).