Good evening. I'm from Europe and I've translated the text into English. Sorry for the long post. I am very worried about my sister. She got pregnant in August. She found out after 2 months, as they had not planned the baby. But she works in the hospitality industry, so she has a non-healthy attitude to alcohol. When we were young, she used to get drunk and drink much, much more than me. Let's go back to pregnancy. After she had first examination and it turned out to be OK, she calmed down because she drank before she knew. So she and her partner decided to make a fresh start. Then something terrible happened, in December her husband died in a car accident. Shortly after that I got to her, unfortunately it took me several hours because she had moved to the other side of our countrey. When I arrived, she was dead drunk. Of course I understand her terrible feelings, but she was 4 months pregnant, so 20 weeks and dead drunk. The next day she was vomiting, she had a hangover. She ate a sedative. I forced her with water and vitamins and food to digest the alcohol as quickly as possible. When she got herself together she was worried to death. You can imagine what she was going through: terrible guilt and feelings of guilt. We got her a really good therapist. She had a morphology scan in January, which showed that everything was OK with baby organs. But would it really have shown on the examination if she had harmed the foetus by drinking herself to death that day? Is it likely to show up later? I moved in with her for a while to help her. I work from home, she was on sick leave, so we were together. I took good care of her. However, during this time I went back to my city 4 times for two days. The day last before I left, I found at home that I had left my computer at her place, so I got in the car and drove back to her place. I arrived 4 hours after I had left.
But when I arrived, I had a stroke. She was sitting in a smoky room, with an empty litre of vine and three empty beers beside her. She drank it all, in 4 hours. She is now in her 7th month. I can't describe how angry I was, but on the other hand so sad to see her like that. Then I caught her and she confessed to me that every time I left she drank a lot. Twice, a litre of wine and two beers, and once, even 5 vodka to and three beers. She also smoked a lot of cigarettes. Otherwise, she smokes 3 a day since that terrible day. Of course I didn't like that, but the nurse said it was better than stress. She used to smoke a lot. I was speechless. So, since the new year until today, she has gotten drunk 4 times. The only thing that comforts me is that otherwise I really make sure that she is very healthy, she drinks a lot of water and every day she eats folate acid, omega 3... all this I stimulated her before lunch. I cooked her vegetables, forced her to eat fruit and we went for long walks every day. I hope that this has something to do with alcohol having less effect on the fetus? Today she was sober and cried for 3 hours. Of course she has huge guilt feelings, she says she is depressed, that she misses partner and that she is afraid of life. She is very worried about what she has done to the baby, and of course I am worried, too, as an aunt. She promises to stop, to go to AA. n a way, I am so furious with her, but on the other hand, she has experienced something so painful and it is killing me to see how she feels. I have taken time off work just to research what all can easily happen to a child. I don't want to tell the gynaecologist because I'm afraid of getting social services involved.
This child can be well looked after by me and my husband. We already have two great kids and all the conditions. I would never cut my sister off. We had a terrible childhood and she's the only one of the primary family I have. Otherwise, she's a good person, she just has problems. Now I have read everything I can and my head is full of information. Somehow I have come to the conclusion that FAS is given to children of mothers who are alcoholics and drink enormously, on a daily basis, even pregnancy, don't eat vitamins, etc. But, invariably, this little boy may have huge problems... he may actually be retarded. Of course we will help him everywhere. But, what should we prepare for? How should we prepare? Is it possible that, despite getting so drunk 5 times in 2 months, he is mentally and physically OK? Is it even possible that the boy will be healthy? Everywhere it says almost not... but hope dies last. Please help us, help us. I know that she will not continue with alcohol. So that at least this two and a half months until the deadline, she can live healthy. She will come to live with us in my house until the birth, she will continue to have therapies online with the same therapist who is great. There are AA meetings in town. I'll make sure she takes her vitamins and keep her cooking healthy etc. We are really in need. Thank you so much for all the opinions, experiences