How do you stop being flaky?

[fallibleandabitflaky]

I am going through a lot at the moment and am hibernating - feel very ashamed by how unreliable i have been to friends who have been kind to me.

I think I may need therapy but can't afford it.

Be honest with close friends - if they know you're struggling they can be more forgiving and supportive.

When making plans why don't you say "go ahead without me and if I'm good on the day I'll join you".?

Do you apologise for being flaky or is it 'what am I like, hee hee' or 'I'm entitled to be flaky with everything'?

Don’t over commit.
Last year we suffered a very traumatic incident which I barely told anyone about but I did drop off socially for a while. People contacted me and I’d brush them off politely and make my excuses for not going out. I cancelled all pre existing arrangements.
I didn't commit to anything for ages as I couldn’t really leave the house for a while and even when I could I didn’t want to.
It was very unlike me as I’d always been up for anything and everything but I just didn’t have it in me for ages to live life in addition to dealing with stuff, holding down and job and getting though each day.
Just focus on yourself for a bit and treat your needs as a priority.

Keep a proper big paper diary and write everything down you have arranged or need to do. Check it every night and cross things off/ add to it.

Block off one night for free time. Always open post and deal with it.

Unsubscribe to pointless marketing emails and check and reply to anyone who contacts you same day. Go old school and ring people. Invite people over for a chat. Set aside one evening a month for friends to drop in and tell they are welcome.

Basically get organised, keep busy and try to leave the house once a day for a walk, just for you. Meet a friend and walk with them.

Be nice to yourself and treat others nicely. Starting now!

Def not laughing or being entitled.

I have just been awol a bit - not engaging in much.It's like I become a complete ostrich. It happened with a client that I work with and I have ended up resigning. It's just made me realise I'm completely flighty and not good in stressful scenarios and I don't know how to up my resilience. Maybe it's the menopause - maybe that's an excuse. I don't know.

I owe a couple of emails which are serously overdue but I haven't been in touch with many people.
The annoying thing is, I would probably benefit from the social interaction. And when I'm at my best I'm actually quite a good friend but I've been struggling.

I am trying to channel the thing from Dr Seuss about "those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" but I still feel guilty.

Speak to your GP OP and write a list of your concerns, symptoms and how this is different to your 'norm'. Best of luck.