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Hiding in my bedroom to avoid meeting guests

2 replies

hidinginmyroomm · 21/02/2024 19:20

I'm 22 and live at home with my adult brother and parents. I always struggle when we have people over, like if my parents have friends round I will tend to stay upstairs. I don't know why; I'm shy and I guess I just feel like a burden and that they won't want me there. My brother has had a few girlfriends who he has stay over, and I find it really difficult to meet them. I tend to avoid meeting them as long as possible, and I've only met one of 4 of his most recent girlfriends.

He has a new girlfriend and my parents have obviously met her, but I haven't yet. I know it's really rude, and my brother and parents tell me so too, but I find myself deliberately doing things to avoid having to meet her like jumping in the shower, pretending to be unwell or going out. It's nothing against her, but I just feel like I'd be a huge letdown as a potential sister-in-law. They are always beautiful, successful, outgoing, etc. Whereas I'm the complete opposite. I'm not sure if it's because I don't have any sisters so I just find the idea intimidating. I'm so embarrassed and frustrated at myself.

I can't afford to move out as I've recently been made redundant.

OP posts:
NuNameNuMe · 21/02/2024 19:27

Please come out. You're wonderful as you are. My son is very similar. I wish he'd poke his head round the door say hi, and leave if that's enough. Shyness is nice, as I'm sure you are too.

Keroppi · 21/02/2024 19:34

kindly, have you looked into therapy for social anxiety/low self esteem? or self-teaching CBT/DBT? the more you avoid social situations the worse your irrational and negative thoughts get as you aren't challenging them 🧡
You're not less than just because you're living at home or been made redundant right now. You're skin and bones just like them!!

plus in reality they won't be that interesting or that interested in you. you said your brother has had other gfs you haven't met so you may as well use them as opportunities to work out your social muscles so to speak

perhaps a few hobbies to give you something to chat about
or a social script to give you conversational back ups in case you blank or feel embarrassed/shy
shy people are great too! not everyone needs to be outgoing. ur an oyster hiding a pearl!!! a lot of people fake being outgoing anyway

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