What do your children do after school/while you make dinner?

[PlumpAndGrump]

Particularly interested in responses from families with ND children as I have 3, 2 of which are ND.

In my house there is just no chill. They bicker and fight. They won't just chill and watch tv, we limit screens so only console at weekend and tablets are for homework only. They start a task like colouring or a puzzle and abandon quickly. They play out on bikes or with the ball but again get bored quickly or bicker.

We do homework and they sometimes want to help make dinner, but the "free" time they have is just... chaos.

what happens in your house? And any tips please?

The children I am referring to are both boys, 6 and 10.

Why limit screen times?
There is loads of educational activities they can do on ipads etc.
My 10 year old Grandson taught himself chess ( ASD).
Other one taught himself all the Captials of countries . Plus the flags..
Screen time isn't all gaming etc.
Download programmes that will interest them. Tim Berners-Lee invited the World wide Web to be used.. one of the best inventions of our time.

They both have very addictive personalities and behaviour afterwards /when it's time up isn't worth it for us as a family. We've tried numerous times/screen time limits and different limits over the years and it's just not for us. Actually the current set up regards screen time works for us better than anything we've previously done.

It's just how to fill the time /keep them engaged in something which is really difficult some days.

They watch Disney plus or equivalent.

Mine plays Barbies, but she's only 5.

Cut yourself some slack and sling them a screen so you can cook in peace.

Mine are NT, but are similar to how you describe! I’m not sure bickering/ getting distracted from wholesome activities is a ND thing tbh.
Mine generally play out with a football (briefly if it’s just my 2, longer if others are there), start homework then stop again, argue, play chess on a phone, bicker, argue over the Xbox, get a book to read, fight, draw, get distracted and leave pencils everywhere, cuddle the cats, bicker again, start changing out of their uniform but get distracted part way…..
They may also ask to bake, ride bikes, go to the park- all these last longer but need my input so don’t happen while I make dinner.

I would suggest you take them for a big run around after school. My Nd 8 yo often needs this.

Then you might get a bit of peace to cook. Otherwise you are on for oven food or slow cooker.

5 year old DS with ASD. Can't help as he goes on his tablet! Either plays minecraft, cbeebies play time Island or calls one of his older siblings and they play an online game together.

They watch tv and colour or draw. They also bicker and fight or argue and whatever else. I make dinner very fast - food usually shuts them up and my ears get a rest.

What time do you eat?
Do they have a snack after school?
Do they have evening activities?

We do slow cooker meals or something that I've batch cooked after their bedtime, that I can just microwave. Then I can use the time to supervise homework and music practice. If we leave it until after dinner they're too tired.

Mine are 6 & 11 and NT. They do a mix of playing outside, having friends around/going over to visit friends and a lot of watching tv. We don't really do digital devices (no phones, tablets, gaming), but tv, yes. We do have a lounge and a spare room that has a tv in it, so I intentionally separate them a lot of the time to minimise fighting. We eat relatively late, probably 7:30pm so there is a long stretch of time after school, and dh and I are often busy either with work or animals (we live on a farm), so they have to just sort of like it or lump it and keep themselves entertained. They do snack a lot too.

My two (ND, 10 and 12) are very much like yours. We also have to limit screens as DS2's behaviour significantly deteriorates if he's on there too much. I have to keep mine separate after school most days, as DS1 needs to have calm, quiet time to decompress, and DS2 needs to run about/make noise after keeping it in all day.

Generally speaking, DS1 plays with his lego or his train set, and DS2 plays in the garden. I frequently have to chase DS2 out of his brother's room though, as he simply will not leave him alone!

Mine are all quite different as they have massively different energy levels after school.
One is buzzing after school so plays at the park across the street with his friends for an hour and a half, sometimes football or basketball
One comes home straight away to lay on the sofa or the beanbag and will either read for a bit or watch tv. Sometimes will sit at the table while I cook to tell me things about school.

If they had to be in the same room they would definitely wind each other up.
They play together after dinner when one has burnt off that energy and the other has got some back.

They trash the house and fight, before eventually filtering off to separate rooms to watch screens and pass out. Hoping I'll learn some better ways on this thread!

We sound very similar. 5yo DS awaiting ASD assessment. 7yo DD but wonder if she masks and something might come out in secondary school.

Life after school is chaos. DD especially is like a manic coiled spring. We also limit screen time so no screen time during the week.

Can't help much with ideas, she flits from one thing to another. Life is easier in the summer. We just don't have them in the house, we even eat in the garden. Now it's getting lighter I might start up with an after school trip to the park to burn off energy.

DS easier and will settle to Lego but often everything ends in frustrated tears.

Watch TV shows such as bluey or play on their tablets. I’m not against screen time at all especially after a full day at school/ after-school club. They decompress and I get on with cooking tea in peace!

Homework, music practise, pet chores (DD sorts the cats litter box, DS does water bowl and washes food bowls), reading, educational apps (eg TT Rock Stars), tidying their rooms, playing/being noisy in the garden, colouring, lego, TV can go on at 4:30pm until dinner at 5:30pm. Always some bickering and arguing but if they annoy me they are sent to their rooms alone.

I have 2 autistic boys aged 8 and 10. I WFH too. Between 3.30 and 5.30, if it is light outside they go outside and run around in the garden. Eldest actually paces outside as a bit of a ritual and he could happily do that all day TBH. Youngest will play out or game.

My kids don't do playing together. They fight (which they call playing) or ignore each other. No in between. They also don't have the attention span for activities that involve sitting down for longer than 20 minutes at a time other than gaming or reading. So I let them game or read while I'm working and busy!

they used to watch deal or no deal whilst periodically asking 'is it ready yet' 'what about now' 'you said 10 minutes 20 minutes ago'

Watching with interest. I have 7 and 10 yo boys (7yo has ADHD as do I) and I HATE after school time for this exact reason. It's the most stressful part of my day. I even enjoy getting up at 5am more than after school/before dinner time.

Mine are bookworms so they’re always reading. If they had unlimited screen time though, they’d be on them continually and books would be forgotten.

Roblox

They were allowed to turn the tv on at 5, I would start to get the meal, they both had to be showered and ready to eat at 6.
Now they're older (11&13) and one or other is out, if they're home usually take turn in the shower whilst I get the meal, very rarely tv.

Edit to add: Until 6 months ago, that was the only screen time they got during the week, for same reasons as you.

Thank you for all replies, very insightful and good to know I am not the only one struggling.

There is no "cutting myself some slack" when giving them a screen because it just delays the problem to later or disturbs dinner time/bedtime routine which have taken years to implement successfully. Our screen rules are just one of the non-negotiables but everyone is happy with current system. They are free to watch Disney or a film or something but they just don't ?

They are very active kids and have a total of 5 clubs between them either straight after school or later in the evening. Mostly this means they just start the buzzing round me and bickering with each other at 4pm rather than 3pm, or are highly excitable until 7pm when club starts.

Some days are easier than others and when I've prepped an easier dinner I spend time with them playing card games, drawing and reading which is easier. When I have to go and tend to toddler or dinner it just all goes to shit even if I leave them set up happily doing whatever. One will just get up and follow me or the oldest is too bossy and wants to control the thing or the 6yo wants to change the rules of a game and oldest refuses and it kicks off. Separating them would work but they share a room and I don't really want to. I wouldn't like either to feel shut away or something like that.