Too much pressure on LESS screen time

[JackThayer]

I know screen time is not ideal but I've found myself feeling guilty and almost cross every time DC have it as it seems drummed in constantly that they shouldn't have it! However I'm sure when I was a child my mum wouldn't have even thought about me spending the morning watching TV while she did chores?

I think some people feel that all screen time is evil and that's just not correct. It's fine for kids to unwind and watch something/ play a game and they can be quite educational as well. It's when kids have unlimited access to addictive games that there are problems.

There is definitely a balance and I don’t feel guilt when my DC watch screens. I even let them do it all day some days because it’s obvious they need a down day. Most days they have it for a bit but mostly play with their toys or each other.

Well for my generation, TV was very limited, in most family homes- no, we would not have been allowed to watch it all morning, that would not have been normal or acceptable

Well, before someone comes along and trots our the WHO guidelines, it has to be remembered that guidelines, especially international ones, have to be pitched at the lowest common denominator, especially as people will fudge them a bit.

Some of the studies linking screentime to obesity, autism, ADHD etc are not differentiated by other household circumstances, and definitely not by what sort of screentime.

There is a world of difference between a child who spends hours a day on an iPad and who doesn't get outdoor, multisensory play and one who watches a few cartoons but spends the rest of the day hoofing around the garden pretending the shed is a castle and the cat is an attacking army.

the big little feelings podcast spoke about this a couple weeks ago. they basically said if a little screen time makes you a better /more regulated parent then go for it. whether you use that time to do house work, paid work, or just chill out, whatever.

as long ad they get lots of time outside, free play, etc, then I think its fine. having said that, ours only get TV (no phone or ipad) and we limit it as it affects our eldests behaviour and often its just easiest not to have it on. when he's ill it goes on all day 🤣

It is your child, so it is your choice. But the fact you feel guilty says something, if you thought that unlimited screen time was fine, you would not.

But depending on how old you are, how much screen time did you really watch and what was is like?
I had brothers so watching tv was communal and involved a lot of fighting and interaction. We also had to get off our arses and change the channel. And there was not really much we wanted to watch anyway, limited choice and availability.

Compare that to now with on demand streaming, people, adults and children are totally sedentary for hours at a time while the device automatically plays the next in the cue. And with small children the screaming when it doesn't. That reaction says something.

Yes, I agree mostly. Although I do find that DS gets less emotional, the less screen time he has. Right now he's getting a lot as he is poorly, as well as his dad. He's very clingy to me, especially when poorly, so I need the tv on for him so that I can actually do housework and cook! He's had quite a bit of screen time overall in the past year. He's 2 but has been very good at talking from 18 months. I suppose the content of what he watches may help. He wants to watch dinosaur and shark documentaries rather than toons! He can tell me which dinosaur is an Ankylosaurus and which shark is the Whale shark (just examples as he knows much more!). So it's definitely benefited him in some way!

I don’t think a tv is a problem- I think tablets are a problem; they are extremely addictive. A tv on in the background tends to be ignored by children a lot of the time.

So, today it’s pouring with rain and windy - pretty much an ideal day for a mix of indoor games/activities and tv/screentime. Shopping, park etc. definitely not appealing and if you haven’t paid for a toddler group session in advance better at home. Screentime has its place and if the little one will sit and watch tv while you strip the beds or vacuum it really is a plus not a problem. Yes, some boundaries needed - ie tell them when it’s time to switch activities.

I have no problem with my dcs watching tv or films but too much gaming, TikTok and phone/tablet use isn't good. It's addictive, they become too absorbed which then leads to mood swings and it affects concentration and focus.

I think it’s fine so long as they do other things too. Today is miserable and rainy for example- this morning DD (5) has played with her dolls, played a board game with me and played schools which I used to sneakily get her to practice her reading and maths. Right now she’s on the switch with her dad, which is a nice bonding time for them while I deal with the baby. This afternoon we’re going swimming and she’ll probably play with her Sylvanians and watch some bloody awful Waffle the Wonderdog or whatever. But it’s the holidays, she’s done imaginative play, learning and some exercise, and I don’t really see the harm in her zoning out for a couple of hours of screen time.

Well yeah, if there's only 4 channels and mum or dad wants to watch the news, it's not going to be acceptable

My generation all got up early and watched a variety of cartoons, it was great! Screen time isn't bad.

The thing I think can stunt development and lead to bad habits is using an ipad alone, cartoons without proper spearhead like those weird YouTube Elsa-Spider-Man videos...

My DC are older nearly 13 and 17 but I am on a WhatsApp group for local Mums of DC of all ages and there is a real call for smartphone free childhood, there is a grass roots campaign for it being shared. On the other hand, people feel perhaps shamed and judged for not going down that root. My DCs were limited with screentime to TV, mostly Cbeebies or CBBC but I do worry with my youngest who had tablet access loads younger than DS as we couldn't afford one initially. I feel she is pummeled with information on how to look, what to buy, how to be, I do feel guilty as she correspondingly has low self esteem about her looks and she is objectively no reason to at all but even if she did it doesn't matter. I did so much with them as young DC but I do regret DD even having a smartphone at 11 now for the screentime dominance, a majority of it marketing for the companies to access their growing markets for life!

I agree.
i didn’t let Ds watch tv for the first 2 years, and now I think it was a bit bonkers tbh.

Right now Ds is watching tv. He is tired after 4hrs outside at forest nursery this morning (not uk so ahead time wise), and we have places to go in an hour. So he’s relaxing with tv an hour whilst I also have a recharge. We will be back outside 1pm onwards

As a child in 80/90s we were allowed unlimited tv, videos etc for hour on end. And we didn’t get taken out very often. We all grew up fine tbh on far less interaction and outside time that my Ds gets

Agree. I've never had to "limit" screen time. I've always kept an eye on DS's behaviour, attitude, schoolwork, etc and if I thought screen time was having a negative effect on any of that I would have looked at limiting it. Rules here are homework and chores must be done before using devices and then as far as I'm concerned DS can unwind however he wants to. He does go out seeing friends and he goes to an outdoor hobby on Sundays for 3-4 hours.

Mine too, it was definitely frowned upon to watch TV during the day in my family and my friends families, I can only remember one friend who was allowed to watch during the day and going to her house was the only reason I know what was on during the day

It's just the human condition of everything that's enjoyable must be bad and you should feel guilty for it. We don't feel guilty about having not going to church or having sex outside marriage any more so have to feel it about something else.