How do you help your children develop a healthy relationship with food

[wfcats]

My daughter is only one so it's early days for us but I have issues with food which I inherited from my mum (who inherited them from her mum) and I really want to make sure I don't pass it on in turn. I've struggled with under eating and over eating at various points in my life, and now finally have a mostly balanced relationship with food, exercise and my body. But it's taken me years and so much headspace, and I still have to be very conscious of it - I really don't want that for dd, she deserves so much better and it's 2024 for gods sake.

If anyone else has been in this situation I'd love to know how you've approached or are approaching it with your kids, thanks so much

Everything in moderation has always been my approach with myself and DD. She learnt to self regulate very early on with food and eats to hunger. I don’t agree with forcing meals or forcing kids to finish their plates at all. If she wasn’t hungry or didn’t like it, that’s fine and she could have something she did like later on. I always just gave her the exact same meals as me, just obviously in smaller portions. She’s the only child I ever met who was (and still is!) crazy for vegetables

We don’t lock away or make a big deal of chocolate, crisps etc - she’s always had free access to them but because of this they’re not seen as ‘exciting’ and therefore she actually has very little compared to her peers. In her teen years there was none of the running to the corner shop after school to sneak sweets home like her friends did, she’s just not interested! In my opinion the more you limit something the more desirable it becomes.

I just model healthy behaviour. Never diet or talk about it, never over indulge. My DD sees me eat healthy but also treat myself lots too. I don’t mention anything at all about anything to do with weight or food. If she mentions it, I cut it down calmly & swiftly.

If I got 1 good thing from my mum, it’s this.

My DD is 3 and this is something I’ve always worried about as well. Like you I have issues with food. I model for her so I don’t over or under eat in front of her. I never put pressure on her to eat anything I just say ‘that’s what’s for dinner tonight it’s up to you how much you eat’ I limit the chocolate etc that comes into the house a bit so I’ll buy chocolate etc but not every week. Tbh she’s surprised me in that she doesn’t really ask for it at all. I give her bits of sweet things with a meal instead of after a meal. She often eats the sweet thing first but then eats the rest. I do constantly question whether what I’m doing is right or not because it is one thing I really don’t want to mess up after my lifelong struggles.

also I never talk about weight/diet etc in front of her

No food is a treat, food is all ok if you eat it in moderation.

We eat together as a family, we all have the odd junk food day.

Desserts were part of the meal, fruit and yoghurt mainly, and never a reward for finishing a meal.

It's allowed to not like certain food.

Not using food as a reward is an important one I think

Sit-down meals together at a table, every day.

Try to cook food from scratch at least sometimes and involve your child in buying, planning, cooking, (maybe growing?).

Don't get into any dramas about food. Eat all things in moderation. Don't control or ban.

Take pleasure in food, try new things, cook old favourites. Food is not just a fuel on the one hand or a temptation to be resisted on the other but also a social connector, a vehicle for tradition and memory, a pleasure for all the senses (not just taste).

Definitely don't use food as rewards or punishments.

I give dc healthy meals which everyone eats. Ill cut up fruit for them or present a bowl of grapes or berries.
Cakes and biscuits are mostly homemade. Often by them.
We buy junk food but not all the time.
I also talk about food to them and tell them that our bodies need certain nutrients to grow and keep us healthy, which is why we need healthy food. I tell them certain foods are unhealthy and bad for them. It's their choice if they eat them but they should know what they're putting into their bodies.