Friend constantly inviting me to hers

[BeyondAReasonableDoubt]

Backstory - Met a mum at one of the baby groups around 4 months ago. We quickly became friends and we have had them over a few times for lunch etc. However recently she's been inviting me over with the kids every single week, sometimes 2 or 3 times and while I am grateful I am really exhausted.

She's already made comments to my 6 year old saying "will see you again tomorrow, im sure mum has no plans?!" - and then to me she said "you're on maternity leave, you have no excuses not to come over"

I have already said a few times that i'm tired and she's then called me and asked "have I done something wrong?" So then I feel pressured to go and see her otherwise she will think I am being distant :/

The worst was 2 weeks ago when she said "right, makesure you're all free on Friday. We have planned dinner and games night" I said i'd let her know, and she said "nope, not taking no for an answer!"

How would you deal with this? I don't want to lose her as a friend but I also would like to be able to be home, do the housework, get things done, or even just relax

I think you’re going to have to be blunt with her on this one - ‘no thanks, I’m tired, have to get some stuff done at home etc etc’. Let’s meet up next week etc - if she messages asking what she has done you can say nothing but you need some space to get stuff done and don’t have time for it. She sounds very socially unaware and has latched on

Just be honest.

For example, next time she invites you if it’s in person and you feel unable to say no - once you get home send a polite message

hi X, apologies but I don’t think I can make it on Tues as I’ve got things to be getting on with. Maybe see you on Thursday for a few hours though? Xx

I would deal with it by just going round when I wanted to, as opposed to every time she invited me.

And the dinner on Friday night - light heartedly say ‘well you’ll have to take no for an answer this time as we’ve got a lot on - sorry!).

She's already made comments to my 6 year old saying "will see you again tomorrow, im sure mum has no plans?!" - and then to me she said "you're on maternity leave, you have no excuses not to come over"

This is really rude! It sounds like she has no other friends so has latched on hence her being so intense and assuming you have nothing else to do. I made some lovely friends on maternity leave but even then we only met up once a week!

She's already made comments to my 6 year old saying "will see you again tomorrow, im sure mum has no plans?!"

Surely if you have a 6 year old, they are at school all day-just say you have a lot on after school and at the weekends. So what if she is slightly offended. I’m hazarding a guess she’s done this before to people and will be used to people not wanting to see her this often.

This is a ridiculous amount of pressure on you. You need to be as blunt as she’s being. Say no to anything you don’t want to do. Longer term, distance yourself, as she’ll always be hard work.

Yes this

She sounds intense. Just say that you're tired, and if she asks if she's done something just say no and not to ask that again. I'd probably phase this one out, she sounds too intense and hard work.

Blunt is the only way… I would be blunt , but with humour. “Well you will have to take no for an answer , because that’s all your getting!” Or “you are so funny, mat leave is for chores mate, you know the drill!”

meet her with a blunt reply and always laugh along, but mean it !

This sounds like she is dealing with extreme anxiety. It can manifest like this.

You don’t need to indulge her at all. But if you want to be kind to her, when you turn her down, give her another day. ‘No not Friday, but we could do Tuesday morning for coffee’.

You just have to speak up and say no. She can't force you to go to her house. Stop being so wet and assert yourself.

How strange! Bit of a red flag to me I'm afraid. I don't think it's 'normal' for her to be so clingy with you, especially after such a short friendship.

You need to set boundaries. "Sorry friend, I need some downtime at home, I'm sure you understand. I'm not someone who can socialise multiple times a week I'm afraid". If she doesn't listen, then it's time to back off and start making excuses to not see her and lengthen the time between messages etc.

She sounds like very hard work and you probably need to distance yourself from her. Make a point of being busy for the next few weeks, say you're seeing family or other friends. Don't give in to her badgering you or she will continue to do it!

She sounds intense but also sounds lonely and in desperate need of adult friendship. I’m sure she’s doing it all to be nice, welcoming and to get to know you better.
It sounds too much though and she needs to back off a little. I would just be blunt and say you’ll contact her to arrange the next meet up but it will be a couple of weeks as you are tired and need some time to unwind.

Thanks all for the advice on what to say, some great suggestions! I will be more blunt moving forward because it's all just a bit suffocating