Please give me some sentences to say so social worker will take me seriously over my mum?

[Mirandawrongs]

I’m so fed up.

mum lives with me and she’s become more and more ill in past few years.
copd, dementia and bpd, all are why she lives with me.
She’s so ill now. In and out of hospital and I need help!
social worker brushes off my concerns and I’m just left bereft.
shes 74 and hates me, I have no life or respite.
please help

Next time she's in hospital phone the social worker and tell them you refuse to have her back. If the hospital try to send her home tell them you will not be answering the door. Unfortunately it is often the only way of making them do something

You need to use the term "at crisis point". I was advised to do this when my mum was caring for my dad and burning out. She had a call from her GP immediately and dad was referred to a mental health nurse who gave him better meds for his dementia. She wanted to keep him home at that stage but obviously your case is different. The emergency social services line is also very good.. Ring and say you can't cope / feel threatened and they will be round within minutes.

Research homes as soon as you can.. They vary wildly. My dad is settled in a home now that works for him.. It wasn't the most glamorous but he is allowed to wander and it is right for him.

Wishing you luck and strength.

Request for an assessment of your mums needs by contacting your local authority and explain that you are not coping with the level of care that is needed for your mum. Are you supporting your mum with any of her daily activities? Does your mum have any savings or assets? What is it that you want help with? Do you want support from a domestic carer or are you asking for your mum to be placed into residential care? Sorry for all the questions but I'm an adult Socail Worker so trying to get a picture of what might help support you and your mum based on your situation.

The only way I got social services to listen was by saying I was going to walk out, I couldn’t cope and I couldn’t keep my mum safe anymore. They had support in place within a few days. SS will run unpaid family carers into the ground and don’t care as they haven’t enough money.

You have my full sympathy. I looked after a parent for 5 years with COPD. It gets progressively worse. I literally got no sleep for the last 2 years. Try and see can you get her into a nursing home. Best wishes,

Make a formal complaint about the social worker. Say you are not being listened to, repeatedly ignored even, give examples, you are not coping and you are on the verge of a breakdown from the stress/burn out, you cannot cope any longer and will not be able to provide further care at your home.
Put the complaint in writing.

Useful phrase- carer breakdown. Request a carers assessment. Unsafe discharge and risk of readmission are useful too.

Yes. I'm afraid you have to refuse to take her. You tell them that you're at crisis point and that you simply can't do this any more. That if they send her home you won't be there.

She should (eventually, but that's the hospitals problem, not yours) be given a respite place in a care home for a few weeks (at no cost) where she can have her needs assessed.

Sounds tough OP

You need to ask for a care act assessment for your mum and a carers assessment for you. You need to explain that you are not able to cope any longer without support and when they do the assessment you must let them know what it is like on your worst days with her. You need to explain absolutely everything you do for her from the moment of getting up to putting her to bed and any night needs you may be meeting. Are you looking for carers to come in and support with personal care or looking for respite/day services? Social services are run ragged but you are entitled to assessment and support and they shouldn't be waiting for it to get to crisis point before you are given help.
You also need to take into consideration that if your mum has saving over a certain amount she may be classed as self funding and would then need to pay for any carer support required in the home but you would still be entitled to things like day centre and the sitting service for respite.

This awful, as others have said, refuse to have her back home next time.

I imagine it will be very hard to do, but you can't give her the help and support she needs, and social services/NHS will keep expecting you to do it if you keep on doing it.

I don't think carer stress would really worry them to be honest - carer refusing to care is what will get them to step in.

A nursing home sounds like what you need.

Somebody I know got to the point where they put their mum in the car, drove to a&e, booked her in (so the hospital knew who she was etc) and left her - she simply couldn't carry on. I don't suggest doing that but you need to be very clear with social services that you are evicting her if you can't cope anymore

Does she have any carers ? Can she pay for care herself. Does she claim a disability benefit which could help pay for carers. You can refer yourself for a carers assessment or refer her to adult social care yourself to see if she would warrant a package of care.

I would absolutely send her straight back to the hospital in the same cab.

carers breakdown

Sounds like your mum needs a nursing home for everyone's sake, in and out of hospital doesn't sound like it's doing any good either