How do I refer to my mother's partner's children?

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

Just that really.

My Mum has been in a new relationship for 3 years. He has 3 dc. We're all adults so they aren't stepsisters/brothers.

But referring to them as my mother's partner's children seems such a mouthful.

One of my friends said I should just call them Stepbrother and sister, as that explains it, but that feels weird.

Anyone else in a similar situation and what do you call them?

This is the only way 'mother's partner's children'

I do the mouthful. Technically they are steps, but it's weird when, like you, I haven't grown up with them. So instead of step mother and step father, I say Mum's husband and Dad's wife, and mum's husband's children etc.

Agreed. They are not your step-siblings and I would not refer to them as such. Actually, even if your mum and this man do marry, I would not consider his kids to be step-siblings your age. They are just his children from a previous relationship.

'Names' kids.

Mine calls me his stepsister. I call him my 'kind of stepbrother'.
We both think it's quite funny, having not grown up together. We don't have much direct contact either as we don't even live in the same country, just occasional emails.

If you are referring to people you know just use their names surely?

This. I’m assuming you could just use their names for a lot of situations? If not it only needs explaining once to each person, so just say it how it is 🤷🏼‍♀️

I absolutely don't think of them as steps.

They won't marry as they are both in their 80s and were married to their first partners for 55 years each.

I guess I'll just have to stick with the mouthful!

In most conversations would you not get a chance to name your Mum’s partner, so it would be “Mum’s been with Bill for about 3 years….last week she was chatting to Bill’s son, who said..”

Or the person you are talking to already knows about your Mum’s partner so it might be “went to Mum and Bill’s last week, his daughter was there…”

Same situation here, I am 33 and my mum remarried a couple of years ago and myself and my sisters acquired 3 grown up ‘step’ siblings. Haven’t found a different way of saying ‘my mums husbands kids’ but luckily don’t need to do it that often as we don’t see them much or have anything to do with them really.

Derek’s children. (But only if his name is Derek)

Say your mother's partner's name in general conversation (eg Bill). Then refer to them as Bill's son/daughter.

I guess I'm thinking about it because I was "chatting" on teams with a colleague today who said he was going to a certain event later this week and my Mum's partners son is going to the same event. By the time I'd typed that out I was thinking there must be a short cut to say this! But I guess "step" is the usual shortcut and it doesn't work on this occasion.

John’s children.

DH is in a similar situation to you, his mother remarried 30 years ago when they were all already adults. He’s only ever met the ‘children’ at the wedding and I suspect couldn’t even tell you their names.

We called them collectively xxxx’s kids.

I call him my dad's partner's son, so Anne's son Bob. I also went to school with Bob, which both complicates and makes things easier.

In that situation I‘d have said “oh I know someone who’s going, he’s called Joe Bloggs, look out for him. He was telling me how great the speakers are”.

I mean, the fact that you know Joe because he is your Mum’s partner’s son doesn’t really matter much to your colleague, does it? Unless it was a convention for adult children of re-partnered elderly people to share experiences?

And if colleague said “oh, how do you know Joe?” you could say “his Dad is my Mum’s partner”. But chances are they would not ask because they would not really care how you knew him.

and if colleague and Joe meet : “Ah, I hear you know EmmaG?” Yes, my Dad goes out with her Mum, we see each other round at their place sometimes”.

Just used their names, John and Sarah.

I just stay 'partner's name's kids'

DM's second husband was "name" and his children were "name". As adults there is no familial relationship, so you don't need to explain one.

I wouldn’t call them step siblings as they aren’t.

It depends on who you are talking to. It could be ‘I know people going to that conference’ and then if the conversation developed further, you could explain who they were. If you’re talking to friends, you could say, ‘Bill’s sons are doing that’ etc

I called mine step, but that's because it was easy and we'd grown up knowing each other albeit at one remove as they were a bit older. Both parents had a deceased partner. Also I like them. It became official 15 years ago but our parents had been together almost 15 years at that stage!

Blimey, I'm not even sure I know what my dads partners children are called, have never met them

We're related, or we're kind of related/relations by marriage.

In the kind of context you're talking about this flows more naturally for me than trying to spell it out exactly. You can always clarify if needed.

@EmmaGrundyForPM

in that specific situation I'd have just said 'a friend', your colleague doesn't need to know it's your mothers partners son. When it matters (rarely) then the mouthful it is!