Child protection plan

[Poohbear333]

Hi, I’m a fan of Mumsnet and read regularly, but this is my first post.

my children have been put on a child protection plan whilst in my care by the LA after they disclosed sexual abuse by their father and me informing the authorities.

to give you a little history, my ex partner is abusive and I had to leave the relationship as I feared for my children and myself. We had a court sealed CAO by agreement and overnights started with him when they were 3.

the kids were initially excited to see dad but then they became distressed and didn’t want to go and they would not tell me why.

eventually when they were 3.5 they told me that their dad constantly hits them when no one is around and puts ice on them and gives them freezing showers. They were told not to tell me as mummy would die.

during this time their disclosures became horrific and I was extremely upset to hear everything they said happened to them.

since this time I have done everything to protect them. Every single time a referral has been made to the LA to investigate this matter including phone calls to Cafcass and solicitors and police, the matter has been ignored by the LA.

a short while ago (children are now 5), they told me about sexual abuse to them by dad. I informed the authorities and the kids were immediately placed on a CPP. The allegations towards dad appear to be ignored and they are focusing on me causing significant harm and appesr to be gathering evidence. They have dismissed everything we have said. They have even replaced professionals involved with other professionals who have thrown me and my children under the bus.

my son has told me he is scared of the social worker and a teacher at school (who he does not know) because they ask him questions over and over and he has said he doesn’t want to talk about this but they keep asking. I am so angry at what they are putting my children through.

I have to say, whether it is imagined or real there is definitely a conspiracy going on.

I am currently being assessed for cptsd due to everything, and sadly with all the stress I have behaved in a way their narrative of me is, and basically am being served up on a platter to them. They are gunning for me and appear to want to exonerate dad. This situation is so far removed from reality it really is like a parallel universe. I am so scared for my children because it is clear I will not be able to protect them if this continues. We are also in the middle of court proceedings again and all of this will eventually filter down into court.

I don’t know what to do with the constant goal posts being moved by SS and not being told about them. They won’t tell me what my children have said (assume they think I am a danger to my kids). How will I ever help or overcome any difficulties in this forever changing circumstances. They clearly think I am mentally unstable, which is not true. I have followed safeguarding procedures and had I not then I would be blamed for not protecting my children. I feel there is no end to this and scared they will start proceedings to remove my children which then hands them over on a platter to perpetrator. All of this is causing me so much stress and anxiety making me behave out of character. Darent tell them this as they have twisted and manipulated everything else.

Any advice on how to handle all of this please? Will we see an end? Why aren’t they telling me the work they’re doing with the kids? Are they taking clandestine steps to remove my kids? Help.

Before we start, let's get clear on where in the process you are OP.

Have you attended an Initial Child Protection Conference (ICPC) yet?

This is a big meeting with lots of people involved in your family - police, health, school, social care. Plus you and the children's father all invited.

Has that happened?

If it has, then you will have a clear understanding of why the children need to to on a CP Plan - because that's the purpose of this discussion. You should also have a written copy of the CP Plan - so clear tasks required by named people, in specific time scales.

If you have not had an ICPC and so do not have a copy of the CP Plan, then your children are likely currently subject to a Section 47 Assessment. This is still done by social care but a different thing to a CP Plan. It's when they gather information. You might be in the dark abit during the Section 47, because social care and police may not have answers themselves yet. Once they do, the process will be open and transparent tho - you will know what needs to happen and why.

thanks for your msg. We are def on a plan following a s47 immediately after the chikdren disclosed sexual abuse, then the icpc and then the review cpc. The icpc speculates that I am mentally unstable but there is nothing solid about why they are on a plan. Hence being confused. Lots of other speculated things. But absolutely no evidence. It appears they are looking for things to justify us being on a plan along the way. Both parents are being investigated but all paperwork strongly implies I am a risk and other parent is not. I genuinely can’t say much more because I am confused and do not know why I am on a plan , other than being traumatised by what my children have been saying.

I can understand that being on a CP Plan will feel very traumatic, because in its essence the plan is saying that your parenting is not good enough - and hearing that would be traumatic for anyone.

You need to be strong though, for your children. You have to let go of how it makes you feel or your children will also find the process upsetting. Not upsetting the children has to be more important than you feeling upset.

The reason for the CP Plan is always one (or multiple) of: physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse or neglect. It should be clear on your Plan.

With children so young, there won't be lots of 'evidence' since professionals have to take many non-verbal signs from the children. This will especially be true if the children aren't talking to professionals about their worries, as you mention.

When the S47 was initiated due to the disclosure of sex abuse, the investigation centres around the children not the adults. Therefore both parents will be investigated and part of thr assessment. That is not personal against you.

Also as you've found, a S47 won't narrow to only look at one issue (ie sexual abuse). Again, not personal. Because the children had the spotlight on them, all aspects of their wellbeing will have been considered. In doing this, aspects of your parenting that may have gone unnoticed, get pulled apart and laid bare.

I don't know anything about your situation. But, for example, if you make multiple accusations about your ex that are unfounded or exaggerated, and try to coach the children to say things to continue a narrative - that's emotional abuse of your children.

If your mental health is not calm and stable, to give your children a calm and stable home life - that is also emotional abuse. If it leads to a chaotic home life, it may also be neglect.

None of these negate sexual abuse - they can be in addition to it. That would then make the children at risk when living with Dad and also at risk when living with Mum. That is not good for the children.