How do you deal with a teen girl friendship problem?
DD is year 9.
She knew almost noone except one girl Sarah when she started at school, but became friends with a group who had all been to primary together. They ate lunch together, party invites, walk to school together, all great...DD introduced Sarah to the main group as well.
Beginning of year 8, one of the slightly peripheral members of this group (let's call her Nancy) brought a new friend (Sophie) in to the group, as my DD had been brought in. To her horror, the close friends all started avoiding Sophie, refusing to sit at the same table, running away if she tried to walk with them, etc. My DD found this unkindness really hard to deal with as, in her mind, Sophie had done nothing to deserve this. She made the very brave decision to stick with sitting with Nancy and Sophie , with just two other girls, while the main group began sitting elsewhere. This continued through year 8. My DD was so distressed by her new friends' unkindness she would often cry in the evening. I reported the situation to school and teachers said they would look into it but that the group were not the sort of kids who would be "usual suspects" - and nothing happened. And tbh they appear nice girls, I really don't understand it except that Sophie from my understanding looks to be neurodivergent and a bit vulnerable and maybe being her friend is socially difficult in high school.
Now year 9 DD still walks to school with the main group, still eats lunch with Nancy and Sophie (she doesn't walk to school with them as they live a different direction). However, the hugely ironic thing is that Sarah, the one friend who she started school with who joined her primary in year 6 and who DD befriended, has started excluding DD. She arranged an ice skating trip, having heard DD and friends talk about how much they would love to go. All the original group was invited, except DD. It was her birthday 2 weekends ago. All the group was invited, except DD. Yesterday they had options interviews. Sarah came and sat next to DD between DD and the rest of the gang; she then turned her back on DD deliberately and engaged the rest in conversation.
I want to wreak every vengeance on Sarah (but won't ) and would love DD to find a whole new group of friends. She does still have Nancy and Sophie but ironically doesn't have a huge amount in common with them; she just thought it was really wrong for the others to exclude Sophie who had done nothing wrong, and by extension Nancy who just brought a friend in as others had previously done.
I am immensely proud that DD "did the right thing" but feel that sadly, she's ended up socially excluded because she wouldn't exclude someone....
Any advice?