Leaving 16 and 18 year old home

[WhenIsaywhoaimeanwhoa]

Leaving college going DSs 16 and 18 by themselves for a week.
need to travel abroad for a week. Was fine with doing it, except that now my departure time is imminent, I’m having second thoughts….
(DSs reasonably independent but lazy and pretty useless in kitchen).

ok or nay?

I think it’s fine to leave them but don’t make the 18yo responsible for the younger one. Yes he can help him get to college on time but he can’t be held responsible for that happening or for anything else the 16 yo gets up to really.

Yes sorry should have made that clear, have only asked DS18 to help get him up in the ams.
he’s happy to do it, and wouldn’t expect him to do anymore than that.

You need someone 'in loco parentis': someone local they can contact if there's an issue that they simply don't have the experience to deal with- maybe a leaking toilet, or an injury that's not 999 worthy, but still needs some dressing or medical attention.
Apart from that, should be fine. If you trust them not to party.My youngest two would have been grand, the oldest- no way.

Going against the grain, I don’t think it’s fair to put the responsibility on your 18 year old.

Next door did this with their sons a few years back. By night 3 of the party keeping me away at 4am I lost my shit, yelled like a crazy woman (not my finest moment) and text the parents to ask them to call their sons and tell them the late night noise needs to stop. Parents went nuts at them and it took them 5 trips to the tip with empty beer bottles to clear up. I’d tell them there’s a neighbour in watch!

I would make sure they have easily available food that they are likely to eat,

Why? Are they incapable of going to a shop and buying what they want?

Just to be kind? Crazy I know.

they will be fine just "text nag " your 16 year old about remembering things and let him get on with it.

My sister has an 18-17 she leaves them all the time because they're not kids.
She's been doing it since the eldest was 14.
She's away at the moment and won`t be home till the end of the month.
I left my son on his own for a week at 16 a few nights when he was 15 he was fine.
He new how to do shopping if he needed it.
My advice to him was you got my number keep the doors locked and be responsible please love you by.

Do you have a ring doorbell? At least that would ease my anxiety about parties.

But regardless, just give them a quick call or text every night to check they're ok before bed

Mumsnet is like another planet sometimes, I lived alone in my own flat at 16.

Yeah. My mum and dad retired when I was 16 and left me alone for months. I was completely in charge of myself, getting to college, my part-time job, cleaning house, shopping, cooking and cat 😁 This was 40 years ago, so no mobile phones, or delivery services. I had neighbours if needed and my older brothers lived locally.

I've just remembered a girl who joined my school in the equivalent of 6th form. They lived a good couple of hours or more away from the city, and her parents had set her and her older sister up in a flat together as her sister was starting uni, so yes they would have been 16 and 18 at the time.