Husband has ED

[shockshockhorrorhorror]

Hello. I've been married to DH for 13 years and we have 2 children. He is 50 this year and I'm 41. I love him dearly and for the most part we have had a great sex life. However in the past year he has struggled to get it up or keep it up and he never manages to cum. He did get tablets but they are so expensive and at the moment we absolutely skint and just cannot get any right now, I can't prioritise them as an expense.
Last night after ages of being frustrated I was just gagging quite frankly, I wanted him and I went for it when he came to bed and it was going great and then suddenly he lost it, and just said "oh dear looks like I'm spent" Out of nowhere I just burst into tears and I know he felt terrible and that makes me feel worse. It's not his fault and I know he feels bad about it and I don't want to make him feel worse. I actually don't really know what I m asking for here to be honest. I love him and I've told him I love him, in sickness and health and that there is more to him to than his Penis but I am starting to struggle and I know he feels bad too. Thanks for listening.

This was us 18 months ago. We are both in our 50s and had always had a great sex life but dh started struggling as you say. He couldn’t bear the thought of going to the GP and was very embarrassed. After some encouragement he did go and the GP was great. Did some bloods to check nothing was going on health wise and prescribed tablets which work a treat. Dh has them on repeat prescription. Just get him to go to the doctors. My dh asked for a male GP.

Very, very good advice here. Same happened to my DH. He refused to go to the GP. Anyway, he told me years later, not long before he died, that he wished, and should, have seen the GP about this.
so very sad.

Did anyone read the OP? He has been to the doctors and they can't afford the prescription currently. OP there's so much more to a satisfying sex life than a penis. I mean a penis can't really do much with a clitoris anyway. I suggest being more imaginative and perhaps introducing toys too. Hope you manage to keep your relationship going x

I read the Op as he’s got tablets privately, I second seeing the gp

Thank you all for your replies. I just can't believe the price of the tablets, Viagra was £30 for 5 or along those lines

Prescription meds will be cheaper than private ones.

Could try toys or a strap on?

And he needs a check up. ED can be a symptom of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, prostate issues amongst other things.

My partner is mid 60's and I'm in my 40's. My partner has ED caused by age and cholesterol tablets. He does have viagra prescribed by doctors but only get a few tablets a month. We have had a amazing time finding other ways to satisfy each other. I've always been open minded with sex and I'm open and honest with the fact I have sex toys and I use them, both alone and together. You can do so much more than have penetrative sex and as long as clean can use other things. Don't give up.

Yes the health issues concern me too. Is it me or do men seem to struggle more with Gynae issues? I don't particularly enjoy smear tests, I certainly didn't enjoy a sweep to get my baby out or 2 Cesareans but that's life.

Echoing the others, if he hasn’t been to the GP, he really needs to. It sounds dramatic, nevertheless, when my DH suffered from this it turned out to be something very serious that was causing it (amongst other seemingly unconnected symptoms).

What is his fitness like generally? Is there much room for improvement? If so some self care in the form of improved fitness might help the situation.
Agree with pp though that is a symptom that can indicate other issues are going on so a doctor app is a must.
@Perfect28 she didn't say they'd been to the Dr she said they'd got tablets but they were expensive - I'm assuming they got over the counter Viagra.

Worth him going to the gp for a health check. ED can be linked to cardiovascular issues or diabetes

I was going to say that

Yes he got over the counter tablets

Do the GP - soeak to onne that he not often see
consider toys, trust me some are go especially when used by your OH on you.

Only women can suffer with gynaecological problems

I agree with everyone else saying it could be a sign of other issues, definitely encourage visit to the GP for a check-up!

As previously mentioned GPs can prescribe for this and an NHS prescription is only £9.65. You would get at least four tablets for this, possibly/probably more.

Thank you so much everyone, honestly I felt so alone and this has really helped. I think I'm going to have to drag him to the doctors.

Doctors see this thing all the time, it's literally no big deal. He just needs to go!!

Also if he does end up with a prescription, if you have more than 12 a year to fill (ie one a month), you should apply for the NHS pre-payment certificate in which you pay for 12 and it covers you for all prescriptions for a year. Anyone can get one.