Cultural capital can be achieved on a budget to help with social mobility...

[thomasgoode]

But what about social capital?
Inspired by the other thread..

What were we saying about resourcefulness?

Manys the time we have given lifts to others. DD had a friend who sang in the local (walking distance) church choir (she wasn't in the slightest religious). They got paid for wedding appearances.
Being defeatist doesn't help anybody..

There must be ways to raise funds for minibus hire every weekend? The nearest rotary club? Charities? Community initiatives? Borrowing from a local school?

Lack and cost of public transport doesn't help. My local bus is hourly and stops at 5pm (but most clubs seem to end anywhere between 6-8pm). I need to use 2 buses each way to get to most clubs (currently "just" £2 per journey, so min cost of £8 + the cost for the child & any siblings that need to come due to lack of childcare). So just getting to and from clubs can be difficult and expensive.

I'm sure there are ways to raise funds to hire a minibus but football teams don't tend to do this. The parents who don't have a car are probably to embarrassed to suggest it so just dont join and the parents who have children in the teams probably don't even think about it as they all drive. It wouldn't be in my remit to organise a mini bus for these children.

This is true. My ds plays rugby and some matches are an hours drive away in different counties.

but it is more than that. I bet many of those parents wouldnt take them even if they had the means. They are not motivated to do so. I see it a lot. the parents will just not inconvenience themselves for their child.

the main benefit to children is a motivated parent.

Being defeatist doesn't help anybody.

I'm being realistic about the reality of life for those children in the lowest socio-economic groups, but I don't think most people on here are thinking of those.

I think most people on here are thinking from the view point of being comfortable, but not being able to afford private school, so how can they help their children to acquire the social skills that many private school children seem to have.

@3WildOnes I honestly don’t mean to be goady or contentious here but - there are so many people all over the country doing so much stuff to get disadvantaged kids into sport. Lottery funding you name it. Look where half the England team started off from. It may not be within your remit - and that’s fine - but there will be someone locally with the interest and drive. You just have to find that person/s.

It would be completely outside of my role to start trying to find transport for numerous boys in numerous different areas to access numerous different sports teams. I know from attending TAF and CIN meeting that the social workers & family support workers have tried to find these children clubs but found them inaccessible without transport.

I bet many of those parents wouldn't take them even if they had the means. They are not motivated to do so.
We took other DC to matches. It's no skin off my nose to take an extra. It makes environmental sense to car-share. No man friend left behind. etc

"I think most people on here are thinking from the view point of being comfortable, but not being able to afford private school, so how can they help their children to acquire the social skills that many private school children seem to have."^
^
I think this is prob where I was coming from. I also know that those who are living less comfortably don't always have the bandwidth to think about the additional
logistics involved of eg grabbing a lift with a kind eco-conscious soul.

I also know that those who are living less comfortably don't always have the bandwidth to think about the additional logistics involved
I've also known others who tie themselves in embarrassed knots and won't ask for help. We are sometimes own own worst enemies.
It can be awkward at the parental level if you always seem to take and not give. But the DC will just think on a more basic level of "I want to help my friend" or "we need him, he's our best player." However, you have to get to that stage first and that is the trickiest bit. In any club or society, it's always easiest to go along as someone's friend rather than a total newbie / outsider.

Well yes and that's also about being able to make good friends in the first place

♻️♻️♻️♻️

Yup. That's an eternal truth: much gets more.

I think being aware that you need to think outside of your regular social circle is a good start. But there are plenty of people you encounter on a daily basis who may not be in your social circle.

I know of many children/teens who are simply incapable of interacting with a “stranger” in any context.

A small, very easy and achievable way to start modelling more confident behaviour is to make friendly small talk when going about your daily routines.

Smile. Make eye contact. Don’t complain. Don’t swear. Say something nice or at the very least don’t say something nasty. Know when to stop.

If you can’t say hello, you’ll hardly be able to make conversation at the local whatever group.

(I’ll put my hard hat on and say that many adults in my community on both ends of the income scale are not capable of this either. I’ve noticed that English Home Counties folk are extraordinarily insular, no matter if they have money or not)

On another tangent, in my opinion, appearances also matter (unfortunately) so fostering a basic self-care routine: being hygienic, brushing your hair, wearing clean clothes. This all contributes to being more confident.

Exactly. All those Mners who are socially inept or misanthropic (‘I don’t do friends — too much drama’ and ‘People are always trying to pressure me into socialising, but DH and I just prefer our own little family unit’) seem to fail to recognise that it’s just just about their preferences. They’re modelling social relationships for their children. Or not modelling them.