Did your parents stick up for you as Dc when you were wrong?

[herewegoagainy]

Another thread made me think of when I was a child. My sister and I used to climb on to the shed roof and stare in the neighbours kitchen watching them eat. The neighbours eventually complained to our parents. We swore blind we had not stared at them, that we were looking other places instead. My mother believed me, stuck up for us with the neighbours, and said to me and my sister the neighbours were a bit crazy.
But we were totally guilty as charged. We did stop staring at the neighbours though.

Anyone else had their parents stick up for them as a child when they were in fact guilty as charged?

Nope. We were guilty until proven innocent.

As the oldest my parents never stuck up for me. That has continued throughout my whole life ( 50's) and there have been times when I have really needed them to.

My mother is a narcissist and I her favourite victim so I was 100% guilty of everything real or made up by her, as long as I looked bad and got into trouble she was a winner. My DF her enabler so he would just go along with her regardless, never sticking up for me, not openly anyway. I once heard him defend me to an uncle who thought I was the cause of something, my DF told him I wasn’t but he had to do it quietly in case my mother heard.

Same as both previous posts.

Even if I hadn't done anything wrong, if there was a child near me being told off I'd get included too (by my mother).

Still bugs me now

Nope.
My parents were studiously all about personal responsibility and absolute accountability, so no having our backs or advocating for us in difficult situations (or actually ever). I've often wondered what the impact on me has been: upside is that I became super independent and self-reliant very young, but I've had it pointed out to me throughout my adult life that I am 'hard to help' and don't let people share my burdens. I definitely over-compensate with my own DC, and probably support and back up a bit too much. I'd never lie or cover for my kids, but definitely hear them out and try to convey their side of whatever the story happens to be.

Hmmph, they didn't even stick up for me when I was right!

No and my mum doesn’t even stick up for me now; I was abused on a bus once and she asked me what I did to deserve it. She always finds a way for things to be my fault so definitely not!

Nope. First question was 'Tell me the truth?' with a very firm stare. But I was never very punished- flick across the back of the legs with a tea towel as I dodged past. I was expected to put wrongs right and show good manners always.

Nope. Still doesn't 'stick up for me' now.

Hahahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh, the idea of my parents standing up for me! I have trouble imagining it, tbh. I can't even imagine what they'd say, or facial expressions.

No. I was guilty of what everyone else did too.

Yes. Nearly always and often when I didn’t deserve it. Bless them.

I was the youngest by many years and was the scapegoat for everything. Mum was frightened of Dad and worried my older sisters wouldn’t speak to her if she sided with me, so she didn’t. This carried on into my adult years.
My lovely DB always had my back though. I don’t remember him ever turning on me for anything. He’s long gone now, as are both my parents. Still have the evil sisters to contend with though 😉

Although really it didn’t do me any favours. They always thought I was perfect, which has now made me a perfectionist who isn’t resilient at all when it comes to making mistakes and goes into a blind panic if I do.

If I’d actually done it? Not that I recall but then I was a very rule abiding child. I don’t really remember doing much that would have warranted being defended. I remember occasions of being in trouble but that was down to laziness sometimes or telling my mum fibs about stupid stuff like homework or losing belongings.
They would have defended me and my sister to the end if we were falsely accused.

I wish! I even got blamed for stuff I hadn't done.

Nope, not even a little bit.

Once, when I was grown, my mum told me it was her job to make sure I did right by the world. I retorted she should have made sure the world was doing right by me.

She also said she didn't know how to be my mum. I told her I wanted her to be my biggest fan, even when I was clearly wrong. I didn't need her to be my biggest critic; she had successfully taught me to do that for myself 😕

ha, no. My mum and dad were of the old school, get a skelp for whatever you did (or didn’t do) never apologise and never explain. So I think it’s nice your mum and dad stuck up for you. I’m glad you also packed in the peepin😂

I never had anyone come complain about my dd but if they had I would have given them a fair hearing. In the end it is our job as parents to bring up decent human beings. I did though have to deal with a mother who refused to accept that her son had broken the glass in my front door and I imagine that any neighbour discovering that young 'un taking drugs would not have dared to tell her either

My mum always had my back

I have my kids back and stick up for them - I want them to know I believe them until I have firm facts they are lying

it's nice to feel secure and know your parents believe you

i saw my dad get his belt out on my little brother for something he was accused of (didnt do it)

No rarely.

with my own kids..depends. If they are clearly in the wrong with proof then no I don’t defend.

i remember my ds biting another kid when he was six at school, was called in by the teacher and my son was really vilified. Ds was diagnosed with adhd and I also suspected autism too which the school were aware of. Ds never retaliated unless someone was in his space and he felt threatened.

it turned out that this boy he’d bitten kept following him around, taunting him, pushing him and getting in his face and screaming. Ds bit him in response. He got defended for that one although I did do some work with him to try and find another way to respond if it happened again.

No, I was always in the wrong, and when older I was still always in the wrong. If a boyfriend treated me badly it was always my fault. It really damaged my relationship with my parents to the extent that I stopped telling them anything and kept everythibg superficial. Mum died about 15 years ago, and I've been a dutiful daughter to my father, but there is no real closeness there.

Only until she got us home and then we were for it.
One memory that makes me giggle was when my best friend at the time pinched a cigarette from her mum and we were trying it, I think we were around 11 at the time.
Another neighbour saw us and told our mum's.
I went home and the next thing, my mum was chasing me round the house with her Scholl sandal while my dad sat looking over the top of his newspaper with a ' what's she done now ' look on his face 😂
That was the only time I ever touched a cigarette.
In fairness, my parents always had our backs, they still do.

I remember once the mum of someone I went to school with came in all guns blazing because her daughter had been told off/given detention or something like that. I remember being 50% mortified for her, it was so public and her mum seemed to have lost it completely, but also 50% jealous because my mum would never have stood up for me like that, or at all.