Speed of replying to messages...

[Getonnow]

Is it a reflection of how interested someone is in you or just how they are?

I'm really talking about friends, not dates, but I have a fairly wide circle, both male and female. Some, often the men actually, are really quick to reply to every message, some are really rubbish at replying at all.

On the whole those actions tie up with what I know of them as people. The ones who respond promptly are the ones who are dependable in other areas, and the others are more flaky, but there's one woman I think of as a friend (but not best friend territory) who it's always really difficult to get in touch with.

When she does eventually come back, it's usually with enthusiasm and when we meet up everything seems good. She's a single woman, no kids, but busy job if that's relevant.

It matters to me because I've had a significant life event that means I'm building a social circle more or less from scratch. I'm not sure if I'm wasting my efforts/ imposing myself on her here.

It's down to their personality and their job and their life outside work and their attitude to phones, not to do with how much they like you or how important you are to them.

My current job, I wfh, no-one else around, and I tend to do my 7.5 hours spread over about 9 hours, so, interspersed with picking up my phone, doing a bit of prep of the evening meal and so forth. But in my pervious job I wouldn't see my phone from 8.30 tp 4pm or later some evenings.

I have friends who rarely spend much of their day without their phone in their hand and I have other friends who put it down and don't go back to it for days. There is no correlation between their phone use and how close we are.

It depends what you want out of your friends.

I am quite happy to have some loyal but unreliable ones in the mix.

Exactly what @NewName24 says.

No reflection on you, just how they like to run their lives, and how attached to their phones they are.

I'm a mix of both, I either reply immediatly, or it takes me ages.

Just depends what I'm doing when I get the message, if I'm busy I'll quickly look put my phone down, then forget about it for a period of time.

Nothing to do with how I feel about whoever messaged, everything to do with the timing of the message.

She sounds great to me, and she will never be needy or clingy towards you like some people may be, you also wont feel bad about not replying right away, and then good fun when you do meet up. Not every friendship has to be deep and meaningful.

Interesting, as I have been wondering about exactly the same thing for a very long time.

A friend couple of ours are like that. I kept suspecting if we don't mean much to them so they take (nearly always) weeks to reply our messages. I used to think we were close, but over years I don't feel I can invest much into the friendship anymore due to difficult to get in touch and catch up. Again, whenever we do manage to meet up, they are always warm without much reservation.

I can't tell if the pattern of communication really signifies the importance of our relationship or just due to laid back personality...

I think so. I think if you're interested in someone - whether it's messaging, calling, making plans - you want to communicate and connect.

The speed of my replies depends on what mood I'm in, not the person. Some days I reply straight away, others I clear the notification and then read and reply hours later, if I remember.

Im introverted as they come but when I really like people, I want to reach out and connect with them.

It's down to personality/lifestyle, not how much they like you. I tend to dedicate approx 15 mins each day when sit down and reply to all my messages. Outside of that I won't reply unless urgent. If I'm especially busy then I might not reply for a day or two.

I can't bear the whole thing of constantly texting back and forth throughout the day and continuously checking your phone. It's a constant distraction and takes you out of the present moment.

Everyone is different

It is probably more a reflection on whether they have their phones switched on at work, and whether they are generally in the same room as their phones at home.

I'm crap at replying to messages and it has nothing to do with my interest in or fondness for the sender and everything to do with being a lone parent working ft and struggling to keep my head above water.

I would say in regards to romantic relationships, it means something. With friends, not so much. I'm often crap at replying to my friend's messages, and it's just because I'm busy or I've got something else on my mind etc. My brother is also rubbish at responding to me, but I know it's not because he doesn't like me.

Mental state/mood has a lot to do with it, I think.

I’m either manically tapping away like it’s the last SOS off the Titanic or getting sarcastic texts asking if I’ve died.

I once fell downstairs texting so I wouldn’t not reply - that was to some old drivel about car engines. It’s all or nothing, and God knows why.

I tend to be slower with people I’m not close friends with because I need to micro-analyse the potential meaning of every possible word. And then there are those much-cherished friends who WhatsApp me entire sections of the Quran, or the Nobel Laureate types who pen beautifully crafted missives and that’s a whole other ball-ache, you can’t just hit them with a 😂

Ironic coming from me but maybe don’t overthink it. It’ll be more to do with their communication style than their feelings. Dating, slightly different, although again, sometimes the more I wanted to reply the harder I found it to do so.