Can a person (yourself included) completely change?

[Cheeseflakes]

I really don't like who I've become recently, so I know that we can change to some degree as I've become someone I don't like.

I'm going to put a huge, huge effort in to change this, for me and for my loved ones, so I can get back to my 'old self'

But, here's the crux of my question. Until I was about 9/10 I was a completely different personality. My natural personality was to laugh immediately (when my teacher asked if the smartest girl in the class was her favourite she replied no, it was me because I was so ready to break into laughter). I was described as so laid back that I was 'horizontal' and I remember this distant me.

Unfortunately my childhood effectively ended when I was 10 and until my mother made me homeless 8 years later, I can only describe those years as horrifically miserable. My 'core' personality changed overnight to an anxious, generally quick to be dissatisfied person who rarely smiles. I'm 37 now.

So while I start on my journey to change / improve myself, I'm wondering how far can I go?

Anyone else seen someone change or changed themselves?

Yes! I had an afluent, neglectful childhood. I recreated it as an adult in the marriage to the ex. I was always looking for something to fix me outside of me.

I witnessed violence as a child, along with much else, I was bought up in secrets and lies. I took that into my adulthood.

I finally took my children and fled the ex after 16 years. We went through the fires of hell with the aftermath.

I had turned to drink to help me "cope" with a lifetime of pain.

I got into a 12-step program, and I am 21 years sober next month. Through recovery, I have been able to access other 12 step programs for help and outside agencies, too.

I've had to put the work in however I have what I had never had before recovery, and that's peace of mind and serenity. I know who I am today and have tools for dealing.

The 12 step programs I use or have are. These are programs of discovery and the realisation of what you're doing, i.e., drink, etc. is the symptom of the problem, which is me.

A.A. long-term member

Al-Anon - For support with those who have had someone in their lives who drinking was a problem (ex), I dib in and out of.

ACAADF (Adult Children Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families)

CODA For Codependancy (emotional extremes) without a specific substance

Other 12 step programs are N A (Nartcotics) C.A, H.A (drugs) G.A (Gamblers) SaL (Sex and Love) WA (Work) are but a few of many

I've also had various therapies, including

Group psychotherapy
1-1 therapy through women's aid x 4 times as I've hit different levels.
CBT
Grief counselling (2nd husband)
Family of origin therapy

I have a lot of health issues, including complex PTSD. However, I have learnt to manage my mental health rather than it manage me.

I've had to learn to change me and my thinking. I have had far, better years since recovery than those before.

I happily remarried, have 4 amazing adult youngsters, happily married, with careers and 5 grandchildren.

I found myself and learnt to let go of the anger, bitterness, blame, resentment, etc, that had grown and was eating me alive.

Good luck to you. Please try and find the peace you deserve

To confirm the paragraph above, that starts "Other 12 step programs..." are for info for others. I'm not in those and never have been. They all work the same program. Just with a different symptom for each

The 4 above of A.A - CoDA I am either in or have dibbed in and out of as needed