Are you good at treating yourself?

[Goonjustbuyit]

I need to learn how to treat myself! Tell me how!

Money is not an issue (I'm very lucky in that respect) but I excel at self deprivation and seem incapable of treating myself. If I see something I like, it takes a lot of rumination before I inevitably talk myself out of buying it. I'll set 'rules' around buying clothes - think capsule wardrobe or minimalism. I wish I could go and browse pleasurably and pick up bits and bobs. I will even prevaricate over supermarket flowers. I'm the weirdo who has no problem eating 2 squares of chocolate. Enlighten me on how to treat myself better/live more pleasurably!

I'm the same, although not with material goods, no problem treating myself in that regard (although usually think it through for a while before plunging!).

But I'm awful at treating myself to time. I put everyone else's requirements above my own and it's taken a few tearful moments in therapy to see that I need to put my needs first sometimes. I've started to have the odd evening out and it's bliss and makes a huge difference but I still need to get better balance.

Good for you for identifying you need to treat yourself more - you deserve it!

I'm have a monthly budget for treats. I give myself £50. About £5-£8 is spent on flowers that last just over a week. The rest varies. It was a pottery kit one month, brownies by post another, an expensive candle (I LOVE Diptyque but not the price).

I don’t really associate treating myself with spending money. Treating myself is a day to myself hiking, or swimming in the sea. I might make something special at home-a nice meal or cake. I don’t think it’s healthy to associate buying things with treating yourself.

I suppose it probably is guilt. I want a glass of wine, so I have one but then the guilt that I probably shouldn't have (no idea why, really!) kicks in. I take some time to do something but there's no pleasure as I think I should probably be with my DC. I eat some chocolate and think I probably shouldn't have done (no weight or health issues). I buy something but then think it was probably unnecessary (most things are!).

I'm similar OP but for me it's more that I rarely want stuff. Buying things doesn't give me any sort of 'rush' or sense of happiness - I don't get stressed or worried about it either though, it's just a transaction to me. If I need something I get it, if not I don't.

It just sounds like you are trying what other people say are treats rather than really knowing what you really love and appreciate

I'm probably the other extreme! I love nice things and have no problem buying them! I will however try and find it at the cheapest price I can. I get a buzz from a bargain, and genuine pleasure from whatever I've bought, for myself, for the house.

For years I put my children first, but they are all adults now. I work for my money and I am going to enjoy it before I shuffle the mortal coil!

Hmmm that is an interesting suggestion actually!

Try repeating the phrase 'I earn it, so I'll decide how I spend it' at least once a day, if only to yourself.

I'm a bit like this but perhaps not so extreme.
I'm happy to buy something I really need/want if it's a good price, I do like a bargain. However, even though I can afford it I find it really hard to spend a larger sum on myself, hundreds or more or to buy something expensive for myself completely on a whim. I've always been like it, probably from my fairly frugal, but not mean, parents.

That really sounds miserable to be honest.

are you actually happy?

You perhaps need to indulge in therapy to address, what seems like, an unhealthy amount of guilt in your life.

It sounds like for some reason you don't think you're 'worth' these things, other people can have them but you need some kind of justification.

You don't, it's enough to just like something, or want to do it. You are allowed to, and deserve to, enjoy yourself in whatever way you like.

Goodness knows there's enough drudgery to go round without denying the small pleasures. I have a bunch of daffodils in the kitchen, and made proper coffee this morning. Last night I had a bath with the good bath oil. These things are unnecessary but very cheering.

It's is miserable, isn't it!

I suppose I have sources of happiness but I am aware that I maybe don't value myself enough. That's why I'm really intrigued by people who have the 'im worth it!' attitude! My parents weren't frugal - I generally got what I wanted, within reason, so not sure where it's coming from to be honest!