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Original poster

DH 40th- be honest, does this sound a bit shit?

34 replies

neverbeenskiing · 11/02/2024 08:27

DH is turning 40. He has been very clear that he doesn't want a big party (not his thing) but I still want to make a fuss of him as he usually goes all out for my birthdays, Mothers Day etc.

His birthday falls on a Sunday, we both have to work the next day and we have two DC with SEND (5 and 10) so that limits us a bit in terms of what we can do. I would have loved to take him away somewhere but it's not feasible for various reasons.

I've booked a supercar driving experience for him on the day of his birthday so that's his main present. I've also bought tickets to see a band he loves a few months later, and a few other smallish gifts for him to open from me and the DC.

My parents will have the DC for a few hours so I can go with him to the driving experience and then I've booked a table at a pub in our village for dinner. It's not a super-fancy place but the food is good, it's child friendly, and DH likes it there. I was planning on telling DH we're meeting my parents there with the the kids, but inviting his parents too. We will need to get the kids home to bed after we've eaten as they have school the next day and they can't cope with late nights due to their needs.

I'm worried it's all going to feel a bit flat.

Any ideas how I can make it more special for him?

I am trying to think of something we can do on the Saturday (the day before his actual birthday) but it would need to be family friendly as we'll have the kids with us.

OP posts:
10ThousandSpoons · 11/02/2024 08:28

Sounds good. He's said he doesn't want much

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 11/02/2024 08:28

I think it sounds lovely!

rubyslippers · 11/02/2024 08:28

That sounds great

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BCBird · 11/02/2024 08:29

I think that sounds wonderful OP.

dailyduel · 11/02/2024 08:29

It sounds an amazing day. Don’t over think it. I think you’re doing enough.

Will you put some decorations up? Have a cake?

BrianBettyGrable · 11/02/2024 08:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Original poster
neverbeenskiing · 11/02/2024 08:30

Thank you all. I may well be overthinking it! I just really want it to be special for him as he does so much for us. He always puts us first and although he doesn't want a big party I still feel he deserves a special day.

OP posts:
Original poster
neverbeenskiing · 11/02/2024 08:32

dailyduel · 11/02/2024 08:29

It sounds an amazing day. Don’t over think it. I think you’re doing enough.

Will you put some decorations up? Have a cake?

Yes the kids will definitely want to decorate and I was thinking cake at home after the meal...planning to use this as bribery to get the kids away with minimal fuss as they won't want to go home!

OP posts:
slipperypenguin · 11/02/2024 08:32

It does sound fine but the only question I would have is whether he is actually into cars / super cars?

I know the main thing is love would just be some 121 with my wife.

AndThatWasNY · 11/02/2024 08:34

Can you sort mine out please 😁. Sounds perfect. If he wants to see friend too maybe drinks on the Friday night?

dontforgetme · 11/02/2024 08:34

It think it sounds like a lovely birthday op!

Original poster
neverbeenskiing · 11/02/2024 08:36

slipperypenguin · 11/02/2024 08:32

It does sound fine but the only question I would have is whether he is actually into cars / super cars?

I know the main thing is love would just be some 121 with my wife.

Yes, he's a big F1 fan and is interested in cars in general. He particularly likes McLaren and one of the supercars (you get to drive three) is a McLaren so that's why I went for that particular experience.

OP posts:
notanaturalmum · 11/02/2024 08:38

It sounds perfect. Really thoughtful. Have a lovely day

Grumpynan · 11/02/2024 08:38

My husband would have loved that for his 40th, when he was 50 I was in a similar position so decided to drop the 0 and have a 5th birthday. We went to the beach had a picnic which the kids loved, it was end of summer cold but dry ! Did sand castles and donkey rides, all the beach stuff then fish and chips before going home, he always says it was his best birthday ever

my only suggestion is something for when the kids are in bed, even just a film / music with some wine,

Original poster
neverbeenskiing · 11/02/2024 08:39

AndThatWasNY · 11/02/2024 08:34

Can you sort mine out please 😁. Sounds perfect. If he wants to see friend too maybe drinks on the Friday night?

I was wondering whether to try to organise something with friends. Its tricky as all our friends have babies or small children so getting everyone together without the kids is difficult. Maybe I could try to arrange something for him and his two best mates on the Friday night, or during the day on Saturday.

OP posts:
SenQuestRequest · 11/02/2024 08:42

My fiancé just had his 50th. I tried to organise the perfect day doing lots of exciting things, big fuss, nice hotel, fancy restaurant. What he wanted was to spend time with me and his children. So that's what we did. We had a lovely chilled day and then evening family meal out at a restaurant.

Your day planned for him sounds perfect as it is. I think as we get older life slows down and you priorities change. He said he didn't want a huge fuss and you've achieved that balance imo.

Sunshineclouds11 · 11/02/2024 08:42

Sounds lovely!!

Agree something with friends will be an extra touch.
Would your children handle something at your house? Friends can bring their kids?
Or if can be looked after for afew hours put abit food on and some drinks.

skybluekitty · 11/02/2024 08:43

I think it sounds really nice! I had a lockdown 40th so it was always going to be a bit more rubbish, but DH arranged balloons and a cocktail delivery and nice food. We didn't get to see anyone but we had fun anyway and I still have nice memories.

I suppose my point is, it's what you make of it that matters and you are making a nice effort given your circumstances and have gone to lengths to give him a good day - I'm sure he'll love it.

TheWelshposter · 11/02/2024 08:44

I think it sounds lovely. My husband would love a birthday like that. I'd be very pleased with myself if I had arranged something similar.

Original poster
neverbeenskiing · 11/02/2024 09:11

Sunshineclouds11 · 11/02/2024 08:42

Sounds lovely!!

Agree something with friends will be an extra touch.
Would your children handle something at your house? Friends can bring their kids?
Or if can be looked after for afew hours put abit food on and some drinks.

Our only local option for a babysitter is my parents and as they're having them on the Sunday for his driving thing I don't want to ask them to look after the kids on Saturday as well.

We could definitely have friends and their kids over to our house on the Saturday. We do this fairly regularly. Our DC would be fine, they would almost certainly have meltdowns once they'd gone but that's par for the course. It would be much easier if it was summer as the kids could be out in the garden and it would probably be more relaxed.

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 11/02/2024 10:21

Would Saturday be too much for dc on top of the Sunday? I’d stick with the lovely Sunday plans then have friends over the following Saturday with cake and dc to spread it out if you want to have friends involved. Sounds like a lovely plan. My 40th ended up being a bit nuts because I spent the day (and week around it) in bed really unwell with covid so poor dh had to postpone everything. So he felt guilty (clearly not his fault) and arranged extra stuff on top of the postponed stuff so I spent the whole year having trips and celebrations. Not complaining, it was amazing, but he’s set the bar very high and he’s really hard to buy for!

have a lovely weekend op.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 11/02/2024 10:24

I think that sounds lovely. My DH is 40 in a couple of weeks and he wouldn't talk about it for ages 😂. We've ended up doing a family meal on the weekend of his birthday, going to Edinburgh this weekend until Tuesday as couldn't get any more time off work and I'm taking him for lunch on the day. He said although he appreciates the effort he would have been happy with the meal. Honestly I think your plan sounds really lovely

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 11/02/2024 10:24

It sounds perfect to me.
If you want to do friends, arrange a summer barbecue at some point, this time of year is a pain!

beachmum1 · 11/02/2024 10:26

Maybe a nice brunch/breakfast visit somewhere before the experience?

Penguinsa · 11/02/2024 10:27

Sounds great. When my kids were that age, one asd, we would do things like cinema plus cake at a cafe or bowling or a wildlife park this time of year which might work if compatible with the SN. Toby carvery was also popular or round the world buffet places were they can pick and choose food. Or a waterpark.