I can feel everything slipping away

[Itsnotgettingeasier]

In autumn I badly herniated a disc which has left me with some ongoing neurological issues. I’m not able to lift my 2 year old and would struggle to run after her etc. I also have a 5 year old who is easier to manage. Because of this on our days together we are now resigned to staying in the house. We used to go out all the time to different places and have a great time. My DH has become their main carer in that he picks them up and cuddles them if they fall, gets up with them in the night etc.

i was on heavy medication and couldn’t sit or walk well so spent pretty much all of my time in the house. I was only just starting to build back and have been hit with horrible stomach issues. Quite often I’ll wake up an hour after going to sleep with my stomach churning and feeling so nauseous. I’ve now completely cut back on what I eat of an evening and it will just be something really bland. I have a dr appointment in two weeks but no confidence they’ll be able to figure out what’s wrong. I’m struggling to socialise as at the moment in the dark evenings everything revolves around meals and drinks etc. my dodgy stomach coupled with not wanting to sit for too long is really limiting. I’m also shattered from all the nights away til 3/4am thinking I’m going to be sick.

i feel like in the space of a few months I’ve lost my way, I feel like a rubbish Mum, drifting apart from friends as no means of keeping up socialising and have put DH under lots of pressure too. I’m limping through work too and feeling like I’m doing a rubbish job at that. I just feel on a downwards spiral and not sure how to make things better.

Stomach issues may be due to meds. Some have that effect on me. Currently also resting from back injury . It makes you feel so helpless doesn't it. Hopefully it is a short term thing. Don't feel bad for your DH , you would do it for him too and not be cross at helping out .

@Soonenough sorry to hear you’re suffering too. It’s just so debilitating and completely affects how you function. I went from being active and always on the go to barely able to walk or move overnight. I’ve been off the meds for a while now although was on really heavy stuff towards the end of last year. I ended up with this strange virus early January which seemed to start the intense nausea off and now it’s also churning stomach and pain etc too. Thanks I know you’re right and he says the same but I still wish it wasn’t this way.

@Itsnotgettingeasier
I ruptured a disc and slipped 5 others in 2019
I was in so so much pain and felt so down and thought my life was resigned to being a cripple forever.
I did physio which helped massively and take painkillers and a stomach protector daily as have ongoing back problems but it's not awful like it initially was so don't think it will be this way forever
Maybe your doctor will prescribe a stomach protector as it may help with nausea

@lovemycbf oh my I cannot imagine the pain you were in with 6 discs affected! The pain was unbearable with just one of mine going. So glad you are doing much better. I wonder if there’s been some damage from the painkillers, I wasn’t given any stomach protection but was only on the really hardcore stuff for a few weeks. So hoping there’s something that can help with it all. I’m emetephobic so every night I wake up feeling sick I’m in a panic on top of worrying about the disc going again.

@Itsnotgettingeasier you poor thing being emetophobic too
I take painkillers every day and have had to accept it's just the way it is as I've got other health problems too but it's how I get through the day,some are easier then others .take each day as it comes and don't stress about going out all the time with small children they won't notice when little

You're not a rubbish Mom. Get the kids to come up to you and cuddle, get them to climb in bed of a morning and have a snuggle, put a blanket over all your legs and sit on the sofa so it feels like you're all connected.
Friends, I know it's hard when you're used to going out etc but most of my communication is through Messenger and WhatsApp. Just because cc you can't go out doesn't mean you can't message them and catch up or arrange a time for a call / them come to you. Good friends will work around you.
Husband, well in sickness and in health. Remember you'd do the same back
Work, sounds like you need signing off tbh

You poor thing

I found that once my stomach has been aggravated, by virus or meds etc, it remains susceptible to throwing tantrums with food. I have to cut out certain foods for a couple of months before re-introducing them. My trigger foods are garlic, leeks, onions, and anything tomato based. This also means cutting down on gravy 😱 Yours might be dairy based instead but it is definitely worth cutting back on known triggers for a while to test it out.

EDIT - stay away from ibuprofen products without stomach protection, they can cause ulcers if not taken with care. Stick with paracetamol products until you talk to a GP.

Oh OP I'm sorry to hear about the pain. I'm a mum also and just been diagnosed with Neuralgia from shingles and on pain meds which are making me a bit woozy and I too have been feeling guilty my DH has been doing more etc.

I'm trying to let that go as it's nothing you would have chosen and having that on top can just make you feel worse.

I hope the GP appt goes well and they can help you. Best wishes x

Thanks so much everyone for your kind words I so appreciate them and makes me feel much less alone. I feel guilty about my self pity party as I know some people have so much worse but I just miss my old normal so much. The Dr appointment is getting closer at least and maybe a step on getting things back on track, whatever track that might be!

I've been in the same boat and just turning a corner in the last month. My main advice would be to get regular physio and walk as much as you can physically bear it. It was only once I started forcing myself to stand up straight (the pain!) And walk every evening (started at 1 min so v gradual) that it started to get better.