If you're single and have adult children, who do you nominate as your Next of Kin?

[cakeorwine]

At the moment, it's my Dad who is my NOK. To be contacted in an emergency at work.

But he's getting older and lives a long way away.

DS is just 18 - and will be going away to Uni soon.

I think I am going to nominate him - but I don't know how reliable / useful he'll be if he gets a work phone call as he is the NOK

Sibling. But if you don't have siblings, in would pick your dc

It is unlikely they will need to be contacted but your next of kin and your emergency contact dont need to be the same person. You could ask a friend to be your emergency contact for work if you think that would be better than your 18 year old who lives away.

No family here to ask just ds nearly 19.

Next of kin and emergency contact aren’t the same thing.

I have a good friend listed as my emergency contact, as she lives and works locally and is most likely to be around and able to help. She knows she is my emergency contact and has my family’s details to reach them if needed, together with a spare set of keys and details of my neighbours and cat sitter to look after things at home.

Years ago, I had my sister listed as my work emergency contact. I had a stroke at work and they called her. She was 200 miles away and didn’t know how to reach my friends or anyone who could actually help. Not ideal.

Sibling is my nok. Otherwise would be my eldest

My DD is 19 but can't drive yet, so I nominated my brother as my next of kin. If I collapsed or something, DD wouldn't be able to rush to the hospital (hopefully someone would drive her though). Although DD is technically an adult, she's still a bit clueless and I'm not sure how she'd manage if she had to make important medical decisions. I reckon I'll transfer NOK over to DD when she's around 25.

My brother and sister are my emergency contacts at work.

I'm very lucky to have 2 best friends who are more sisters than the blood relatives so they are my NOk plus my trustees and my kids default parents.

Next of kin has no legal meaning so you can name a friend or whoever you want.

My best friend and her husband are mine and my daughters - severely limited in functional family unfortunately.

While you’re alive, next of kin is meaningless. If you die it’s an official position (that you can’t choose).
Just being pedantic but in case someone misunderstands.

Sibling

I put my son down as emergency contact even though he lives 50 miles away.

Fact is, in an emergency, an ambulance will be called so you'll be ok anyway. The emergency contact thing is just for an employer to let someone know you've been taken ill.

Sibling or adult child.

A question to @Cheeesus:
Who would it be in my case? And should I nominate someone?

Separated, DC too disabled to handle anything.
Parents long gone, no siblings. Only distant family abroad.

I think what @Cheeesus is saying is that you can nominate anyone to be your emergency contact but that your NOK is a legally defined position.

Ds (20) is my NOK & emergency contact. My mum is 85 & housebound, so ds has been mine since he was 17.

@YogaLite your next of kin would be your husband, even though you are separated.

If you get divorced, it would be your oldest child, regardless of disability.

However the only role a next of kin has is in inheritance if you haven't made a will. If you have made a will, then it's sorted.

Although people talk of 'next of kin' for going to hospital and so on, it just means 'person you would like to be informed first' or 'person who knows what you are like'.

Yeah. Next of kin when for example you go into hospital is just whoever you want it to be.
Once you have died, next of kin is your spouse or closest blood relative, for eg registering the death. And if you haven't made a will.

Thats just a loose summary though, I haven’t gone into the detail.

It would be your adult child.

if your child cannot make relevant decisions, it would be someone appointed to make those decisions for them.

so yes, you should probably make arrangements now. If you don’t it will be social services who will act in your child’s best interest.

If decisions need to be made on your behalf e.g medical, it again will be a nominated professional to act on your behalf.

DS1 is mine
DS2 will be my executor/ LPA when I get round to writing a will

I'm a single parent to a 7 year old and no parents or siblings and I always struggle with next of kin, I know there are people who would help in an emergency but I find it an awkward conversation to have to ask if i can put them down 😂

Why not both?

having had recent experience where one sibling managed to steal hundreds of thousands via POA and subsequent executorship, which meant they could hide everything they’d done under POA. The other sibling knew nothing as they had no access to accounts. It was a total shit show as OPG need evidence to investigate but if you don’t have access to accounts how do you get it?

the managed to get POA overturned in the end but recovering the money will be impossible. Parent was left with nothing for future care or for luxuries they should have been able to afford. Other sibling should have had a significant inheritance but got nothing.

I would always do more than one person if possible. Then at least each can check the other isn’t removing money for their own gain.

@Yogatoga1
I'm so sorry for your terrible situation
I'll rethink
I considered DS2 as he is a management account, but you're right I'll list both and they'll agree I'm sure

I know both my adult DC who are not married have me down as next of kin. My DD has her DH as her next of kin. I have my DH as my next of kin. My MiL has my DH as her next of kin because FiL died 3 years ago and DH went up to help her sort out his funeral, sold his car for her, and sort out his clothes and things for charity. If anything happened to my DH I'd nominate my youngest adult son because he lives about 3 miles from me and my other 2 DC live 140 and 150 miles away. He's listed as a second emergency contact for both me and DH.