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Handhold needed. TW mentions mc and loss

3 replies

Lionssmith · 10/02/2024 11:04

I had a termination when I was younger and now I am experiencing a loss of a wanted pregnancy.

It feels like a cruel form of karma. I know it’s not. I’m so devastated, though. I terminated because I thought the timing wasn’t right, we weren’t married or in a good financial position and I thought I was doing the best thing and it would be easy next time. I’m now miscarrying a wanted pregnancy 💔 albeit at a slightly later gestation, so maybe this would’ve happened before anyway. It was a medical termination before so according to Tommys doesn’t increase risk in future pregnancies. Just a really nasty coincidence. Both times we conceived fairly fast (first time one time, contraceptive failure) and second time was after two months of trying.

I have support IRL but from nobody who’s actually gone through it. I don’t know the reason for posting, I have done a couple of posts now but it just feels so wretched. I’m relatively young and we do our best to be healthy, I’d followed the NHS guidelines and done everything was supposed to do. I know when I next get pregnant I’ll be frightened of this happening again, but also don’t want to wait to try again because the only thing that makes me feel better and positive is the idea of moving through this to get our 🌈

OP posts:
ElleBelleLou · 10/02/2024 13:32

Hey @Lionssmith ❤️ First of all, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please know though that it is nothing you did or could have done that led to this loss, it is such a common thing and there is rarely any rhyme or reason which I know does not lessen the heartbreak but there is absolutely nothing you did to cause this.

I can somewhat relate, I have had two miscarriages, and whilst I did not have an abortion, when I first fell pregnant I was terrified and went through appointments / consultations with the aim of having an abortion, and found myself wishing and wishing I would lose the baby. I soon decided after the initial panic that this baby was absolutely something I wanted but it sadly did lead to a loss at 9 weeks. I tortured myself for months thinking I manifested it.

It could be worth seeking some counselling or therapy to speak your troubles through? When you next fall pregnant, whenever you are ready, maybe if you speak with your GP about your previous loss they could offer you some early support or something for reassurance? I am not fully sure, but I do understand the fear of another loss clouding any future pregnancies. You will get through this though x

Lionssmith · 10/02/2024 15:10

ElleBelleLou · 10/02/2024 13:32

Hey @Lionssmith ❤️ First of all, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please know though that it is nothing you did or could have done that led to this loss, it is such a common thing and there is rarely any rhyme or reason which I know does not lessen the heartbreak but there is absolutely nothing you did to cause this.

I can somewhat relate, I have had two miscarriages, and whilst I did not have an abortion, when I first fell pregnant I was terrified and went through appointments / consultations with the aim of having an abortion, and found myself wishing and wishing I would lose the baby. I soon decided after the initial panic that this baby was absolutely something I wanted but it sadly did lead to a loss at 9 weeks. I tortured myself for months thinking I manifested it.

It could be worth seeking some counselling or therapy to speak your troubles through? When you next fall pregnant, whenever you are ready, maybe if you speak with your GP about your previous loss they could offer you some early support or something for reassurance? I am not fully sure, but I do understand the fear of another loss clouding any future pregnancies. You will get through this though x

Thank you and I’m sorry for your loss x

OP posts:
Lionssmith · 10/02/2024 15:29

Bump

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