Is this typical for the age?

[Yoghurtget]

My son is in year 5. He used to love school and was really keen, joined in everything and was happy. This year it’s all changed and he seems constantly stressed. It appears to be because a cool group has emerged. They all have phones, play older computer games, have girlfriends and boyfriends. We don’t allow him to have a phone or play games older than he is but he is constantly stressed about this. He doesn’t really want these things but is worried about being uncool- this group appear to mock people. Is this normal for the age ( I had hoped this would be later!) Or should I talk to the school about this unpleasant environment?

There are usually groups like this emerging at around late primary.

Not sure the school can do much about it.

Can you point out that by having phones, being cool the are also not very pleasant hence mocking others, so perhaps these things are what he should be desiring

Sounds like he’s getting ready for new friends at high school.

Do you think it gets better at high school? Do they find their group? He does see the cool children’s behaviour as unkind but he is worried about being teased.

Yes, hopefully he will find kids he fits in with better. Remember to make sure he’s doing activities out of school so he can find friends there too.

5!!! Omg that only happened at secondary at 13/14 once puberty was in full swing.

Another reason we will be home achooling.

My dd is year 5 too. unfortunately modern life has become like this. She's started playing games with her friends online(monitered) and is getting her first phone for her 10th(handy for giving her more feeedom but again will be monitered a lot). However there's no big cool group in the class, just various little friend groups as is norm. There are no boyfriends/girlfriends yet thank god haha.

It could be worth a chat to the school, explaining to them how your son feels. Does he like football or chess? Many of the boys in dds class are footy fanatics and i know a chess clubs has started recently too. Has he any interests that could help him make friends at school? and or even out of school? My dd does cubs and dance.