Feeling stuck at home

[flea101]

Son is 8 and hasn't been in education since October due to unmet Sen needs. I had to give up work the year before as I was getting calls every day from school for various reasons. I have finally managed to get him into a specialist school which will start in march. I am so fed up and miserable, I can't take my son out anywhere on my own due to his anxiety and the fact he runs off when disregulated and has no danger awareness, so I feel very stuck at home all the time with him. I love him dearly but I need a break! Some time to be me, to go out and have a coffee with a friend. He is adamant he isn't going to the new school or get into the school transport (I don't drive and school is 30 minutes away). I feel like I have lost myself, I can't leave him unsupervised for a moment. Husband works long hours during the week but does his share with bedtime, weekends etc. anyone in a similar situation?

I’m so sorry to read your post. Can you invite anyone to come round and see you? I know you want to see your DH but I think you need some time for yourself at the weekend. I have GC who have refused to get in the school transport and DS has had to give up work in order to try to get them to attend school so I now a bit about your predicament. If you can’t get out can you FaceTime or Zoom friends?

Is he under CAMHS and does he have an EHCP? Who is supporting him with managing the transition to the new school?

Has he visited yet? It sounds like he will need support for this move to be a success, especially as he sounds understandably reluctant to go.

I would contact the new school and arrange a meeting with the SENCO to discuss the transition, his current feelings, and how you will all manage the situation on the days he can't make it in, so that you're all on the same page. It's much easier to handle the times he doesn't go in if you and the school have a plan in place, as otherwise it's easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you've "failed" that day as a parent, which makes everything feel worse.

Regarding your own support needs, I would contact your local carers' centre and see what support they might be able to provide (ours has a regular online parent-cater group which is very helpful for meeting others in a similar situation).

Also, speak to your local council about having a needs assessment for DS and a carer's assessment for you, as they can often help with respite and an extra pair of hands, activities, etc, which might give you some much-needed breathing space.