Still feel really cross about my child’s school failing to recognise anything positive

[EvangelicalAboutButteredToast]

Argh I felt really cross around September time, where they had an opportunity to recognise his kindness and hard work and chose not to. Countless other opportunities have slipped by where so many children have had to opportunity to represent the school in sporting outings (where he doesn’t excel) or certificates have been given etc and he has been totally overlooked.

He comes out to me yesterday absolutely crest fallen as once again the same kids have been picked to do something he is incredibly good at, I just don’t get it! Why won’t they spread out the accolades? It’s the same kids constantly. I know your assumption would be that those children have SEN or have a disadvantage that’s being balanced out through opportunity, not at all. I’m so bloody annoyed and yet I know it’s out of my hands and all I can do is lift him up at home🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

i acknowledge that many of these children are academic and sporty and popular so are being chosen twice as many times. But I thought teachers were more inclusive nowadays and might look across the class and try and even things out a little if the opportunity availed itself. I’m praying secondary might be better for him.

Ask them why your son is never picked

I disagree that there's nothing you can do - I think you can flag this to the school. Say to his teacher, "I'm concerned as DS is getting very upset that he never seems to get any recognition or opportunity to take part in the additional activities etc, even when he's good at them. Can you tell me why that is and what we can do to help him achieve this in the future."

You don't have to go in guns blazing, but you can absolutely ask the question.

I hate this. I went to a certificate thing at my kids school when she was in year 5 where the same child won 5 things!! WTF?! And a few others won two. But the vast majority won nothing. I asked the Head why he didn’t rename it the Jade Smith (not her real name) awards and the rest of us loser parents take our loser kids out for icecream?
Schools who do this sort of thing drive me mad. It’s just so stupid.

I work at the school in a low grade capacity. I literally can’t ask why without it looking like terrible sour grapes.

@EvangelicalAboutButteredToast I'm sorry, I completely disagree. It is up to YOU to advocate for your child. You need to address it with the actual teacher in a semi-formal way. Parent-teacher meetings are a good opportunity for this ie they tell you what he's doing at School, his targets etc. Then you raise any concerns, in this case, "Ds is really feeling down about this and I was wondering what we can do to help him?"

If you don't advocate for him, who will?

I’m a teacher and I hate it. I make a big effort to have tick lists, to try and notice quieter ones or children who are always well behaved but it’s a big effort to keep on top of and sadly some of my colleagues don’t seem it important and don’t make the same effort.

My partner said literally this. He went to private school (my child is in state) and said it was always the same kids and in the end it bonded the other kids as they just rolled their eyes every time the team captains were chosen. He said very often it’s just the easy decision and not much thought has gone into it.