I think DP is addicted to energy drinks

[LilyPlantLove]

DP is in his 40s and juggles a stressful job, we have a young DD together. Lately I’ve noticed some worrying signs around his energy drink intake.

He WFH and there are empty cans in the bin regularly. He’s ordered a whole case from Amazon before. I went to clean the office and there were a few stashed away in a plastic bag.

I wouldn’t think twice about how a grown man manages his energy if it weren’t for the fact it’s affecting his sleep now (not falling but staying asleep) and this is taking a toll on his mood, he seems detached at times or will have a sudden low day. He’s recently told me he’s been waking up with anxiety and been ruminating on things too. It’s not like him.

We‘ve spoken about it and he acknowledges the drinks may be affecting his sleep (on holiday he started to sleep well) but then tells me he needs them to focus on work and goes straight back.

I’ve always been there for him and we talk freely but when it comes to low moods and anxiety I’ve suggested perhaps he needs to speak to a professional. (I’ve suffered myself in the past and there was something freeing about talking to someone objective) He’s made positive noises but taken no action.

As work seems to be (in part) a root cause, I’ve floated ideas like changing jobs, relocating and even downsizing (which yes I would be more than happy to do if it meant him feeling better), to reduce the pressure, but nothing seems to stick.
He’s also had long periods of managing and enjoying work in the past, so I wonder if it’s honestly the job or his state of mind, but I’m speculating.

Appreciate I’m not his mum or therapist but I’m genuinely concerned about his well-being now and feeling at a loss on how to support him.

Any words of wisdom welcome.

NC to protect DPs privacy.

As someone who had this addiction it sucks and is very bad for your kidneys I was drinking 3 cans of redbull a day and eventually started getting sharp pains in my kidneys. I cut down to 1 in the morning and and coffee for rest of day then weaned off the one and felt a lot better took about a week for the cravings for the redbull to stop. Hopefully he can kick it or at least reduce the amount he drinks. Good luck :)

@Despair132 thank you for your reply. I didn’t even think about kidneys. I worries about his heart and all the potential extra pressure but that’s worth considering too.
Thank tou again and I’m glad you managed to wean off them.

I don't think they are addictive, are they?

@fourhundredandsomething I don’t know if they are physically addictive but in terms of behaviour it certainly seems like an addiction (a compulsive need to the point or acknowledgement that it could be harmful but still unable to stop?)

OP would he be open to replacing energy drinks with healthier alternatives? Energy drinks addiction is a thing apparently. Something to do with dopamine hit. Presumably it's the caffeine, sugar, and artificial sweeteners combination. I used to be addicted to diet coke, I weaned myself off it by putting juice into a big bottle of sparkling water, and always having that to hand. I'd realised what I'd miss is the fizz of diet coke so in that respect sparkling water with a bit of flavour worked for me. There'll be something that works for your husband. You can talk about it, which is a good thing. He could talk to GP about it also especially as he's also stressed. Hope it gets sorted.

@DeeCeeCherry thank you for your suggestion. I really hope he would be. But he has told me it’s the caffeine he’s after because his whole thing is that he feels he needs it to be alert and focused for work. He has Diet Coke and coffees too. Not always all in the same day but occasionally he will for for the triple whammy. I’ve suggested more natural energy boosters like matcha, ginseng, cacao or green tea but he’s not keen. I can see you’d have a point with the fizzy texture and flavour but physiologically it seems to come down to the ‘I need an energy hit’ thing with him

@DeeCeeCherry PS glad to hear you’ve weaned off the Diet Coke! I was very into it myself thinking nothing of it until I fell pregnant 😖

I’ve floated ideas like changing jobs, relocating and even downsizing

This will not change the core issue.

Sorry you're going through this OP.

How's his blood pressure? Buy him a monitor to check, it will almost certainly be an eye opener and not a bad idea to have one anyway.
I'm in my forties and had to give up even a very mild coffee/tea habit (literally three milky caffeinated drinks a day) and then I accidentally had a coffee which I thought was decaf and it made me feel really bad, and truly hit home how sensitive I was to caffeine and how it does not help AT ALL.

It's not a bad thing to know your BP, but that might backfire, Latte. I used to drink an imperial fuckload of caffeine in various forms and had low normal BP. Quit the caffeine (except for one small coffee a day, first thing), still had low normal BP. It's by no means a sure thing that someone with a serious caffeine habit will have high BP (the relationship between caffeine, coffee and BP is complex, and people who are habituated to caffeine have almost no BP response to it), and if he doesn't have high BP, it could just give him something to point to and say "See, I'm fine", when clearly the caffeine is affecting his sleep and mental health.

IMO he needs to learn to use stimulants more sparingly, and look up some info on how being habituated to caffeine only means you perform worse than baseline when you don't have it. In order to get a genuine boost from it, you have to save it for when you need it. But he should wean off slowly, or he'll get skull-splitting headaches.