Joint finances

[HelenHen]

Can I ask how you all merge your joint finances please?

For years most of the money went through my husbands account. Last year though there were a couple of points when my husband denied me access to 'his' account When we got in arguments. This was terrifying as i was down to almost 0. I then changed things around a bit so our finances are nearly equal. It's been clear that we should have had a joint account years ago, but now I'm a bit scared to do that, because I've seen how he can control that so quickly.

So, some options are: both wages into joint account and we each transfer a set amount out to our own account each month... or wages go into our own accounts, and we transfer it out into the joint accounts

Please please give me some examples of what works for you. I hope this makes sense and I'm not rambling too much 😆

I would definitely go with the second scenario in your situation, your wages should come to your account and then you transfer to the joint, that way you always have full control of your money.

We don't use a joint account but I'm a SAHM so my husband just transfers the amount we've agreed on when his wages land, if either of us run out it can bounce back and forth a bit too, but he's the opposite of financially controlling (has many other faults ofc!) so it works ok for me.

We have a joint account that all money goes into and all bills come out of. We also have a joint credit card. We each get a small amount of money into our own accounts each month. However if dh was ever controlling over money i would change it to my wages going into my account and then paying into joint account. We have never had any issues about how we do things but we are both open and honest about our finances.