Preparing 3yo for school starting? Check my list please?

[bitofafix]

My DS is turning 4 in August and starts reception in September. I'm a first time mum with no experience of young children and no real mum friends (trying to get some)! It's tricky to know if I'm parenting him alright sometimes, and I want to make sure we are both ready for his next step.

So please can you help me work out where my son is in terms of being prepared for school starting in September? What does he need to know / learn before Sept to make things easier? What can I do to help prepare him?

Here's a checklist of where we are currently:

• he recognises the first letter of his name but can't read the full name or other words yet
• enjoys scribbling and attempting to draw his letter but it's just scribbles
• can count to 10 and probably beyond but gets bored / trails off after about 12!
• cannot tell time or understand time much at all
• potty trained and very comfortable, no accidents
• that said, he refuses to wear underpants and goes commando! This is because we used the Oh Crap method of potty training where they go commando for a short while afterwards, however he never wanted to try the pants once we were past that stage. This has gone on for 9 months now! I've tried buying cool ones with cartoon characters on, boxer shorts and briefs to no avail. Don't want to pressure him or turn it into a big thing but what would you do? Has any other child ever done this ever??!
• fussy eater. Can eat with fork, use knife etc.
• can be clingy at nursery drop off
• can get himself dressed although his shoes often end up on the wrong feet
• can get himself undressed mostly - hasn't learnt how to take off t-shirts and jumpers.

Bump

He needs to be able to wipe his bum, dress himself, do his shoes up and feed himself.

He definitely needs to be wearing pants of some sort if they are changing in school for PE

The alphabet / letters / counting / time learning etc happens in school.

Yeah I think it helps if they can recognise their name, they also like them to be able to sort out their own coat and jumper and know to wash their hands after the toilet.

Can he either open his lunch (packed lunch) or carry a plate with some food on from service area to table (school lunch)?

Don’t worry about the reading /drawing/letter formation, that will all come with time.
Concentrate on the dressing/undressing, starting to wear pants, putting shoes on, zips, buttons etc..
Im sure you’re working on the fussy eating thing, just keep introducing new foods without too much of a big deal.

It sounds like he’s well in the way to being ready, you’re doing a great job!

Definitely needs to wear pants. What does nursery say?

My boys were 4 December so older but will go into Reception at the same time

They can both write their names to varying levels (one perfect apart from backwards E's, one does the shortened version), count up to 20+, can count backwards from 10 alone, recognise all their letters and numbers and know the phonics sounds . Understand number as a quantity. Knows their colours and 2D shapes. That's from a school not private nursery. They are older tho so have been in longer

Time comes much later so Def don't worry about that.

The getting dressed and undressed and being toilet trained are the only important ones really.

Everything else will come in time. Our school asked us to try and make sure children could recognise their own name written down but it isn't essential. I didn't give any thought to any of the rest of your list about letter formation, counting, time and scribbling. That's the school's job and you can totally take a step back on all that.

Is he excited about going to school? Can him wearing pants be a part of his school uniform??

Before DC started school they sent out a leaflet about trying to increase strength of fingers/pencil control. This was through things like playing with playdoh, painting and playing with balls.

Put on coat and zip up
Put on socks and shoes
Ask an adult for help
My children school expects them to be able to right their name but not all schools do
Get changes for PE/swimming
Does he know you can make 4 with 2 and 2 or 3 and 1.

Learning to tell the time is on the yr1/yr2 curriculum so I wouldn’t even be considering that.

Make sure he knows he has to keep going back to school and it’s not just for one day!

Do you know you can defer him until the following year if you wanted to? It’s not right for every family but it is for some.

He's only three! He sounds perfect (well he'd be better if he wore pants but I reiterate, HES THREE!) Mark making is a perfectly age appropriate thing to be doing and should be encouraged. I teach primary 1 in Scotland and he sounds right on track. You're doing a great job!

Zipping up coat is another one I'd suggest practicing. I wouldn't focus on academic stuff as they'll get that at school so mainly personal stuff.

That said our school doesn't need to undress for pe as they go in their kit so that was easy and my now 8 year old has only just got the hang of wiping as he just couldn't reach.

Re pants, maybe choose some together with their favourite characters/design on them, be it Spiderman, sonic, paw patrol or whatever. It may encourage him to wear them as he chose them.

You’ll be surprised at much he’ll change between now and September. Settling in days before he starts will help.

Practice putting on his uniform and pe kit in the run up to September. And try to get him to recognise his name.

Everything else will happen naturally as he starts and copies his new friends (pants included) x

He sounds completely on track to me. Our school focused on self-care, nothing academic was required, or even recommended as they teach phonics in such a specific way at school. Focus on toilet training, hand washing, filling up and closing their own water bottle, zipping coat, putting on own shoes, wiping their own nose etc. They wont just be left if they can't do these things and need help but it helps the teacher if most of the kids can do their own self care.

Don't stress about pants or it will become an issue. Leave it for a while and then maybe just present a new pack as 'part of school uniform' in 6 months time. I've had the same battle and got some seam free ones that look like thin shorts. I can't say they wear them every day (I sometimes find a hidden pair) but they generally accept that they are part of school uniform now.

Most important

Use the toilet fully independently
Dress himself including buttons and zip on coat though they will help
Use a knife and fork, able to cut up meat

Secondly
Count to 10
Recognise written name
Draw simple shapes
Recognise colours

Finally
Know full alphabet
Spell name
Write numbers
Read simple words

Many won't achieve the first list but it gives you an idea of what teachers most want to see, it's still 6 months to go.

Pants though are essential

Don't worry about any academic stuff.

Manage own toileting independently

Get coat and shoes on
And off unaided

Get changed in and out of PE kit unaided

Open everything in the packed lunch

Speech - get him talking lots!

Sounds like he's doing great. Make sure he can get shoes, coat on and off and zipped up and work on using the toilet independently. Also practice eating with knife and fork and opening drink bottle, lunchbox, food packaging if they're going to be taking packed lunch. They will help them with that stuff at the beginning though. Otherwise maybe getting used to interacting with other kids, going to playgroups and that sort of thing would be useful

Waiting his turn

Sounds totally fine to me.

I'd probably buy a pack of 5 underpants in the same colour as his school jumper and just present it as fact "uniform means underwear" and he can keep the commando for at home.

As a reception teacher I actually wouldn’t want to see any under the finally list! That’s what we do in Reception! Before reading words there are other skills to develop like rhyming, oral blending, hearing initial sounds etc. Reading words is our job so don’t stress about it!!

My DS refused to wear underpants for school nursery, his teacher persuaded him eventually. (We also did oh crap.)

Chances are they won't be getting changed fully for PE the first half term. It'll just be bare feet. (It takes the best part of an hour to get 30 4/5 year old changed and redressed) and by that time he'll have seen the other boys wearing underpants and will want some too.

As long as your Dc can put a coat on and off, put shoes, go to the toilet independently, use a knife and fork correctly you’ll be grand! Yes it’s great them knowing how to spell their first and last name and numbers up to ten but that’s also what they do in the first term if reception.

Oh it will help if you do a little work on emotions before he goes. Life at school will be much easier if he can say 'I feel angry because Joe pushed me' or 'I feel frustrated because I don't know the answer'

Thank you everyone. Very helpful comments. Reassuring to hear another child chooses to go commando too!

We'll keep going with the getting dressed efficiency then. I forgot about bum wiping too - that's on the list now!

The school actually has no uniform so sadly I can't persuade him the pants are regulation! I'll try those soft ones the pp suggested.

Thanks again