Child birthday party gift etiquette

[RebeccaDWinter]

My LO has been invited to their first ever birthday party (bar family). What is the etiquette around gift buying - is there a ‘usual spend’£ for these types of things? There was no info re:gifts on the invite but we would still like to get something for the birthday girl.

Does anyone have any ideas of what to get a 4 year old girl in these circumstances? Book/jewellery/puzzle/something more flash?

Im new to all this and have no idea what is expected. I don’t want to go overboard nor disappoint 🙈 any help is very appreciated.

Mine loves a bathbomb kit still and always older. We got them for everyone for a bit as they were fun, easy to do, felt a bit "sciency" and then useful and then you don't have to store the "craft" after as it gets used!

I spend £5 at most & don't usually bother with a card

Personally as the parent of the receiver of gifts I'd much prefer £5 in a card to another craft kit, as much as we love crafts there's only so many paint your own things a kid needs. However as the giver I often pick up things when they are on sale and pop them in my to gift box for school friend parties. For my friend's kids I usually give money or ask what they want. £10 is usually max given/spent around here

Things in my box include a jewellery set, a bead kit, Lego, those scratch art things in a book, puzzles, colouring books

I think about £10 is normal. I have a 4 y/o girl - gifts that went down well from friends were Disney Princess spray pen set, mini Lego sets, Playdoh, sticker/colouring books, bath bombs, anything from Smiggle 🙄

I’m another one who thinks craft kits are fine. Plenty of indoor rainy days in England to use them up. Some are better than others but as long as age appropriate and doesn’t require too much parental input I think they’re great.

I would buy a small sized squishmallows. They are so cute and girls tend to love them.

Craft and make your own gifts gather dust at mine and so many are received. How about a small handbag? I like the poster above who suggested pj's or something more practical that will actually get used. These are the best gifts.

Lego!

Argos nearly always have some in the 2 for £15

www.argos.co.uk/browse/toys/2-for-15-pounds-on-toys/c:1028073/brands:lego/

I bulk buy a big pack of birthday cards at the beginning of the year

its £10 in a card or a nice gift around £10, you can get things in the sale if £10 is a struggle!

Me too!

Price wise I did £5-7 lower primary and around £10 upper primary because that was fine for us economically and most of the people where my kids grew up.

Personally I feel that sticking to an "average" or slightly lower value present relative to your child's community is the way to go because it creates an atmosphere where the majority of parents feel able to send their kids to parties and not fret too much over the cost of presents, because there often can be several parties a year.

Combined gifts were popular here too so for many parties we grouped together in about 4/5 to get a single gift rather than separate ones.

My children, particularly my daughter started wanting to spend a bit more for her close friends, and use her own money to buy them at around the pre teen stage.

At that age I would spend about £8 on a gift. If it was a particularly close friend or child of a close friend of mine, maybe £12-15.

I have a son and two daughters and DS used to get masses of little Lego sets which he LOVED! My DDs occasionally get a little Lego set (also loved but we have so much of it now!) but mainly craft sets and character toys. They are always appreciated, but quite honestly we get more craft sets than we can ever get round to playing with.

Personally, I would avoid lunch boxes and water bottles (what child doesn't already have a water bottle? And at our infant school most children have the free lunches so don't need a lunch box).

My suggestions would be...
Dolly dress-up sticker book (as previously suggested)
Magnetic dress up doll toy
Playdoh (or some general craft thing that you can add to. Kinetic Sand is another good one or Lego)
Dress-up accessories or cute little bag
Colour-in pencil case with pens/crayons
Some kind of garden toy
Only get character toy if you know it's a character they love!

Argos do 2 for £20 on toys that I think fit the bill for this type of gift. They have baking sets, wooden role play toys and lots of other stuff. https://www.argos.co.uk/browse/toys/2-for-20-pounds-on-toys/c:30463/

I also think The Works are great, and around Christmas they do 2 for £10 and 3 for £15. I recently bought a wooden chalk board and whiteboard magnet set and a lift the flap book with £10 as a gift from there and it was much loved.

£10 fine. We give the following sorts of things to that age group:

• Decorate your own water bottle.
• Bath bombs - actual, not make your own - or gelli baff, if we know the parents won't mind it.
• Marble run (so long as no younger siblings).
• Slime or kinetic sand - again, depending on the parents.

If your DC doesn't get many invites and you can afford it, I wouldn't worry too much about overspending and etiquette.

There were a few birthday parties where I spent 5/10 as I didn't want to look like I was going overboard, but retrospectively wished I'd spent more to show appreciation to the parents for the invite. I could have afforded 20 and my DC doesn't have many friends.

These days I tend to spend closer to 20 on a lovely book in the hope might be known as the mum that gets great presents and get more party invites for my DC.

...my previous advice was given on the basis that as you are asking on MN, instead of asking mum friends in real life, that you might be in a similar situation if not having a great social network.

Thank you all so much for your suggestions! So many great ideas on here and I really appreciate it.

I guess I will avoid stationery/crafting/bath bomb making kits as I don’t know the girl/her parents very well.

I think aiming for £10-15 will probably be about right based on responses here and my view of parents in the area which gives lots of options for things to gift. Will avoid ‘tat’ and take my child shopping with me to help me choose!

Thanks everyone, you’ve really helped me out 😊

About £10-12. If I know the parent I often ask what they might like and after a few years of parties, the closer friend or parents I knew better I offered to get specific items, which some would suggest. Meant it was a present they wanted then.

age 4-5, Orchard Toy Games, Lego, Playmobil, Smiggle items, books,