3 kids - age gaps - talk to me

[Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow]

I recently found out I’m pregnant with DC3. The others will be 6.5 (year 2) and nearly 4 (preschool) when this one is due in September.

I’ve started to have a major panic (having seen some comments on another thread) that these gaps are too big and that the baby will just get in the way/hold back the older 2 from stuff, that holidays and days out will be difficult rather than fun.

Can anyone reassure me/share their experience?

That's almost exactly the age gaps of mine - the two oldest were 6.5 and 3.5 when the youngest one was born two years ago. So far it's been lovely! The oldest is very helpful and loves to show the baby off at school, and the middle one absolutely loves playing rough and tumble with her now she's a bit older. But because they're a bit more spaced out, they are their own people, with individual needs. As long as you recognise that they won't be easily lumped together, and make adjustments for each, you'll be fine.

Thanks so much for the reply.

I’m sure it’s just hormonal but I’ve been really upset and wondering if I’m about to ruin our family. Lovely to hear it hasn’t been that way for you!

Mine are 29, 21 and 13. They get on brilliantly and my last unplanned baby was the best thing that could have happened to all of us. Congratulations! You are so lucky. x

I have similar age gaps - our #3 was born when #1 had just started year 3 and #2 had just started reception (aged 7y6m and 4y4m respectively). It's absolutely fine and you aren't ruining your family! Our youngest is fabulous and I can't imagine life without him. As the older two were at school when he was born we got to do lots of lovely baby/toddler things together when I was on mat leave/working part time.
They are now 14, 11 and 7. 11yo says that 7yo is annoying. But she would miss him if he wasn't there. He probably gets to do things at a younger age than his siblings because he sees what they are doing. But holidays, days out etc haven't been difficult and I really don't feel that he has held the other two back.

It will be fine, when DS3 was born, DS1 was 8 and DS2 was 5, they were lovely to him, ( and still are,20 years later).
The only difficulties were around things like trying to find a film that was suitable for all of them, taking them swimming together ( needed another adult) and taking DS3 to the park when the others were sick of playgrounds but not old enough to be left alone at home.
But you can work round those things, and enjoy spending time together. I was surprised how easily baby DS3 slipped into the household routine, and he was happy to do anything so long he was included in what big brothers were doing - if there was someone to engage with him, he was happy. So things like school run were actually a fun activity for the baby, and his brothers liked to wheel him around the playground to wave at their friends.
It'll be fun!

Thank you for sharing. This makes me feel a lot better. I had no doubts whatsoever about DCs 1 and 2 but it feels so much harder this time for some reason. Partly because they are getting older and things are getting easier now.

Personally I think that age gap is perfect. Your current youngest will start school in September leaving you the daytimes to be with the baby.

Mine are just under 2 years each so DS1 was 4 when DD was born. They were ok when she was a baby but once she started walking and talking he went off her, he's a bit better niw they're adults but neith go out of the way to see each other.

Thanks @DelphiniumBlue - that’s the kind of thing I was thinking of - will DC1 resent me for not being able to take them all swimming, will they be fed up of playgrounds etc, what if we all want to do a long bike ride or walk and DC3 is too little to keep up etc etc.

Still interested to hear of others experiences too.

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow how is it all going a year or so on from your last post?