Can’t cope with stress

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I don’t know why but over the last year or two I just can’t cope with stress any more. I’ve had to give up a voluntary position which was very enjoyable but also very stressful. We’ve had a neighbour dispute which has left me feeling so anxious, wound up, something minor happens and I feel myself teetering on the edge of a panic attack. Something happens that’s just normal life stress and I have to stop myself from shaking, crying, I’ll end up with sleepless nights.

What is this? Is it some weird perimenopause effect (I’m 40)? I took a couple of years out of work with my kids before starting again. I was in a high powered job, took a considerable demotion to get a more local, flexible job. Now I really want to go for a promotion but I’m worried that I’m just so useless at any stress at the moment, how on earth will I cope with a more stressful job?

Any thoughts, tips, very welcome!

It's probably a MH issue, talk to your GP. It doesn't have to rule your life. If it was triggered by a bad neighbor it might resolve itself given time, if that situation is over now. It might also take therapy, medication or time off work to achieve that.

This could actually be me! No real advice, but the only thing I have put it down to was perimenopause and going through a stressful time, which meant my stress levels were so high they've never come back to where they were prior to this event.

I try to take multivitamins, and the GP recommended CBD oil - which does help if I consistently take it.

Besides that, following to see if anyone else has answers/tips!

OP, it happens to the best of us and a fallout with next door can be most distressing as you live right next door to them

See gP. If possible, try to remain civil with next door as when falling out with someone, even when you just look their way can be genuinely mis-read as 'dirty looks' I've been there at work, several did not like me, we fell out and the minds started playing tricks

See gp - a bit of excercise and do get out of the house, go to bed on a regualr time and as importantly get up on a regular time and get a job.

I never wanted to work but I knew I had to and the weekends were more special ie days off

Good luck

Peri affected me badly. I'm mid 40s.

I got very anxious and had panic attacks.
I have now changed my job which really helped but I am also on HRT and duloxetine.

Do you have any other peri symptoms? Night sweats and hot flushes were really bad for me.

Thanks all.

Haven’t really noticed many other perimenopause symptoms - periods have got heavier recently but that’s about it. But I am aware that it could be part of it.

Definitely on the mind playing tricks. It’s all played out quite publicly in our village (all the cliches about everyone knowing your business are true!) and I feel like everyone’s watching me and find myself dashing to the car to avoid people, even though I know in reality most people are far more involved in their own lives to worry about mine!

I think I probably do need to get myself to the GP. It’s hard to know what’s normal and what’s not when it comes to stress and anxiety.

If it's affecting your life to the point you can't work, it'll be taken seriously OP.

Chamomile tea, for the poster into herbal things. Also yoga.

You can do the circle exercise too. Draw a large one. Draw 10 rings on it like a cut tree stump. Divide it into 6 triangles like a box of Dairylea cheese. Categorise them. Friends and family (OP maybe split these up given the circumstances), work and education, fun and relaxation, hobbies, personal care, general life stuff (housework, school uniform shopping, dealing with mail and emails, supermarket shop etc). Get 6 colours, colour in your rings to rate each area of your life 1-10. Start working on improving the lowest scores. The idea being that if one area of life fucks up, you still have 5 others hopefully going well. All the categories are equal, none are more important than others. So no people pleasing martyrdom allowed when fixing up your life.