Digital age of consent 13, parents, powerless?

[User14March]

R4 this morning, I was struck by a concerned mother whose daughter, 13, in a secure unit with MH issues, was allowed free access to all sites on phone. Such are her rights. The mother sounded really distressed & completely powerless.

Do we all need to be more authoritative parents & agree, at least in primary, only ‘brick’ phones allowed. Most parents in class would surely be on board? I

Are you saying the secure unit provided the phone? I find that hard to believe.

A child cannot sign a contract. So who did? That person is responsible for the phone and what can be accessed on it.

The mother said as the age of digital consent is 13, they/she had to allow her access.

There is no 'digital age of consent '.

@TigerOnTour why were the Today programme saying/suggesting otherwise? Will listen again.

Of course she didn't have to allow her access. If that were true we'd all be forced to buy our children smart phones once they got to 13.

The mother could have chosen to not buy a smart phone or buy the smart phone and install proper controls/ lock out any sites and apps she didn't want her child to use.

@Hermittrismegistus she was very distressed at apparently having no choice in the matter, will listen again.

the digital age of consent - doesn't that just cover the age at which you can give consent for your data to be used? (13 in UK, 16-18 in some other European countries)
Thats nothing to do with access and usage. That's parenting.
Whatsapp for example, I think you need to be 16 to use.

There you go.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety/online-safety-blog/2023-01-12-is-whatsapp-safe-for-my-child/

What age rating is WhatsApp?
The app is rated 16+.

https://www.virginmedia.com/blog/parental-controls/snapchat

• What is the age limit for Snapchat?Snapchat's age requirement is 13 years old.
• Users aged 13-17 have additional privacy settings.
• Age verification is limited, relying on self-reporting.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety/online-safety-blog/child-safe-settings-tiktok/

Make sure your child signs up to TikTok with the correct ageAll accounts created by 13-16-year-olds are set to private by default. They also have restricted access to direct messages and livestreaming. However, you should still review the settings to ensure they’ve been set up correctly.

The mother clearly didn't understand about online safety. a child doesn't get to reach 13 and then automatically get access to Only fans and the like.

It is for parents to teach children how to use their phones responsibly, setting boundaries and limitations just like every other aspect of parenting. The younger you start teaching online safety the better as younger children are more receptive to instruction, it's better for tweens to have supervised access to a smart phone or tablet, carefully monitored and supported by a parent rather than just given free access at the start of secondary and left to their own devices.

Its legal for my child to drink alcohol at home from age five, it doesn’t mean I have to give them it.

Google family notifies you before child's 13th birthday to say controls will be limited UNLESS you choose to continue them, which I have. However as a general point though, as a pp said, no 13 yo will have the money for a smartphone and monthly bill unless they get it from a parent which is absolutely not a "right" .

But parents are not powerless. Parents can decline to purchase devices for their children

Completely agree with this and this is what I do with my dds. We have to teach autonomy.

Listened again. The mother had a child on an adolescent, secure unit & she and others were advocating for a ‘back to brick’ campaign re: smart phones.

NICE guidelines apparently advocate for 13 plus having the right to a smart phone/digital world. Her daughter had the phone in the unit & it was proving impossible/v difficult to remove it.

Her/their points, good ones, IMO, were it is very difficult to go back to ‘brick’ after exposing children to smart phones so urging parents to band together to delay & not expose them to this tech in Primary school.

A phone is a tool and used correctly with 'training' is safe. I'm assuming the mother is linking the phone and her daughter's usage of it to the reason she was in a MH unit, I'll listen when I have time but I'm sure this must have more about it than a child being given access to a phone.

A gun is a tool and at the age of 13 I was a cadet and with training I was allowed to use a rifle to shoot at targets. My DD used an air rifle to shoot at paper targets at 8. I wasn't allowed unrestricted access with no prior support and nor was she. In each case we had an enjoyable time and came out unscathed.

Having proper training, boundaries and limitations whether it's a phone, a rifle or a DIY tool keeps everyone safe. People with severe MH difficulties may struggle with the appropriate use of any if those items but it's not the tools fault.

@Singleandproud it’s a good & interesting listen, there are various comtributors.

You said MH unit then you said 'secure unit'. The language is confusing because they are two different things, although someone can be in a secure unit due to MH issues

Does she have PR, or does she share it with the LA?

What is in the child's care plan, that will be instrumental in what is allowed and agreed, how is it being monitored because I can tell you that there will be all sorts of restrictions in place in secure units and I presume MH units in terms of what devices can access.
Additionally most secure units have restrictions over time the device can be used and it can be physically removed if necessary.
However, at 13 in care, those with PR are able to place restrictions on phones and internet without it being a DOLs issue, so it depends what she has actually been told and how she has understood it.