Workplace Awkward - should I stay quiet?

[Prizefighter]

My colleagues don’t like me. Not the ones I interact with daily - we get along well - but the wider team.

I was friends with a girl in the group, Anna, and she has poisoned the rest against me. (I know it was Anna because an outgoing colleague complained in an exit interview about Anna being vicious about me).

It’s now awkward. Do I try to fix this or do I leave it and just continue to be pleasant to everyone?

*Anna is not her real name

What was she saying about you? Work stuff or personal.

I’d confront her.

I’d go see HR about her.

Where does the award come into it (title)

I think HR is a good shout because these things are sometimes complicated, and full of 'she said', 'I said', 'they said'.

Just because someone complained in their exit interview, doesn't automatically make it true IYSWIM?

Sorry, I misread. Ignore my previous comment. It’s tricky. How’s this affecting you day to day?

OMG I read it twice as 'award' too and thought the same thing 🤣

It says 'awkward' though 😊

I had similar. I persevered and now the team know me and have my back. Two have apologised for not speaking up sooner (I get why they didn’t) and I know they’re now challenging and shutting down comments. I have never ever bad mouthed anyone and it’s taken a year but it’s been recognised that I’ve risen above and I have been given so much more respect as a result. Don’t get me wrong, it was so awful but through the other side I know I stood true to my values. If someone is raising her behaviour at an exit interview, it’s her they’re seeing negatively, not you.

I’d keep a log of dates, times, situations/comments and how it made you feel. Just in case it escalates.

It’s more low level isolation.

My manager (who has my back) basically suggested that I shouldn’t go to the Christmas party I think because he knew the table plan had been set up to isolate me (he is not the group manager). He was the one who told me obliquely about the exit interview.

Amother colleague who last week had suggested by messenger that we try to go for lunch sometime, when I said hi today in person and tried to follow up said ‘Oh well yeah I’ll get on that’ really uncomfortably in case others were listening.

It doesn’t affect my work but it is uncomfortable. Particularly as I am nice about everyone at work, and can be relied on to be positive about people.

It is awful. I don’t really want to complain though as no one actually says anything. It’s more about excluding me.

I'm not sure your manager should be revealing the content of someone else's exit interview but, as he has, can you ask him what he is doing about it? What would you like him to do? Suggesting you avoid situations like the Christmas party sounds like he just wants to pretend it isn't happening.

My manager is not their manager. We’re in the same team but different.

My manager has done a lot - promoted me, given me a wider network including introducing me to colleagues in other offices who give me great work opportunities and don’t treat me like this, given me a lot of support to make me happy in my role and I feel really fortunate for that.

None of this wins me friends with the people on the desks next to me though.

It doesn't sound like your manager is all that professional and I'd take everything they say with a pinch of salt

I'd keep a record of everything. Dates & times.

Do not approach this person without any sort of union rep or HR involvement. It may only make matters worse.

I've been in this position.

Solution? New job!

Good luck!

Isolating people can be seen in some situations as harassment or bullying. I don't think from what you describe I would consider it that.