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What happened with my BIL?

2 replies

Trynato · 06/02/2024 17:35

Hi everyone,

I have always had a good relationship with my brother in law. He and my sister live abroad but come to stay at mine one a year.
He's helped me in the past and vice versa.
My sister and him often argue, over trivial things sometimes, and when it happens when they are over, I always try my best to de-escalate the situation and reconcile them.
(Sorry if I add details that don't seem relevant, just think it might give me better perspective on what happened)
This year, for the very first time, I flew to stay at theirs for ten days.
Everything was going well until the 3rd day when they had an argument over a football match of the African cup, when they could watch it and the differences in timezones. BIL was saying there is still time, they are x hours ahead and DS said that they were only x hours ahead. the whole argument was unnecessary, my DS googled it and showed him he was wrong. For the rest of the day ans evening, he refused to speak to us (both). I didn't intervene in their fight and didn't say anything. The next day he reconciled with my sister but was still giving me the silent treatment.
He pretty much ignored me and gave me the cold shoulder for the rest of my stay.
My other sister came to visit and he was overjoyed to see her and treated her with so much kindness. She herself noticed his behaviour and asked me what the problem with him was.

I have no clue what happened.
The first two days he was so kind and even bought me a gift.

They gave me a bed in his office room so I'm thinking maybe that's what is irritating him? But I do wake up and leave the room before he starts working.

I'm scared of asking him but making things worse.

Thank you

OP posts:
NigelHarmansNewWife · 06/02/2024 17:41

He's punishing you because you failed to reconcile with him, even though he's a monumental pillock and there's no need for you to do so. Or he feels an idiot and doesn't know how to apologise for his behaviour. If you ask him or challenge his behaviour he'll probably argue with you and it'll be your fault and you'll leave. The fact you're scared of making things worse speaks volumes. He sounds controlling.

Summerhillsquare · 06/02/2024 18:31

Hmn, wonder how your sister is coping with his stonewalling.

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