Anxiety and the gym

[ISpeakahDuolingo]

I don't really know what I'm asking really. Maybe if there is anything I can do differently?

I've always struggled bit with my confidence. On the face of it I can come across as confident and I think I am when I am in my comfort zone, but anxiety has slowly crept up over the last few years and in particular the last few months. I fight it, but it's hard, and particularly hard if "the thing" I'm doing is only for my own benefit.

In a bid to improve my routine and my fitness, I built myself up to join a gym with the intention of swimming a few times a week. It took a lot to walk in for a tour etc but I did and was fine when I was there. I tried to go for my first swim today. I sorted my membership card, asked a few questions etc and was ok but then got into the changing rooms and just, run out of steam... It was busy with people who knew each other, I wasn't sure where to go to get poolside without crashing through someone's shower, I didn't want to choose the wrong locker, I didn't know where to leave my glasses poolside and I'm so short sighted I have prescription googles but it's disorienting, they were closing part of the pool for a class and I had no idea which lane I "fit" in anyway, and on and on... ☹️

All of those things are minor and I could have dealt with them individually, but it's like I'd expended so much energy just getting there it felt beyond me to pull myself together especially in a communal changing room. So, I just ended up sitting there for ten minutes like a lemon before finally heading out and home. I feel so stupid.

Anyway, I know there's not much to say about it really, but I wondered if anyone else is similar and knows what I can do to help myself do better next time? Thanks x

Ah OP I'm exactly the same at the gym! It feels like everyone knows what they are doing and I always feel like I don't belong. I also find the staff vaguely intimidating (with no good reason!) and am worried I'll get told off for something. So you're not alone . Realistically though there will be plenty of people who don't know where they are going or what they are doing -you just won't notice them because you're concentrating on yourself, as is everyone else. You did well in getting your membership sorted and to the changing rooms. Next time those bits will be easy so you can focus more on the swimming. Can you try going at a quiet time of day or a time when there are no classes? I've also found life is much, much easier when you just ask someone for help. Staff will be delighted to show you where to go and what to do.

Absolutely not just you OP, this is why I don’t go to the gym. Just remember nobody is watching you, the first time is the hardest and you won’t make the same mistake twice. Maybe try asking reception for a list of quiet times so you don’t end up in the changing room when there are classes running. I used to clash with an aqua fit class, nightmare.

I really mean this kindly, but you need to pull up your big girl pants and get on with it. No one else has more of a right to be there, they aren’t better or more deserving than you.

Get some waterproof headphones, music on and get on with it. Good luck!

Thank you for their kind words and the kick up the arse, I appreciate it 😊

I went to a Pilates class just this morning, and I heard a lady I hadn't seen before mention to the instructor that it was her first time.

We had only just got into the warm up and she seemed really quite flustered and said that it was too much and she had to leave.

The instructor did go to her and thanked her for trying and hoped to see her again as she had a little idea now of what to expect.

So you are most certainly not alone OP. Doing things, especially on your own, can be really daunting.

Think of it as the steps you did take today, and next time you have a vague idea of where to put your things and the processes that take place.

I do hope you will try again 💐

Breaking some of it down - if there aren't clear signs pointing to the pool, then first time visitors are bound to get a bit confused and lost. But no one would think twice about being asked which way do you go to get to the pool - staff, other visitors, no one is going to bat an eyelid.

How could you pick the "wrong" locker - the lockers are all there for people to use, if one is open and unlocked, boom, off you go!

Look to see if anyone else has left glasses on the side. If you can't see any, ask a member of staff if there's a specific place to put them.

Picking which lane to go in is a perpetual question for basically everyone who goes swimming. There isn't a right or wrong because it will always depend on who else is swimming, one day you might be a fast lane person compared with everyone else, then the next day some former Olympic swimmers come in and you're slow lane! Just take a minute to watch what speeds people are going first. Then pick a lane and start, and there's no shame in moving up or down a lane if it's too fast/slow for how you're going. As the other swimmers come and go you may need to adjust again anyway.

Good luck.

I also completely understand

I have no sense of direction either so in a new gym I get totally flustered about where things are and have a terrible fear I'll somehow end up in a corridor in my swimming costume in front of everyone

Good idea to ask at reception about quiet times.

Come on now, you can do it!

It can be a bit complicated the first time, but you'll soon get used to the gym and 'the etiquette' that goes with it. I'd suggest that you go back at a very, very quiet time, very early on a Sunday, an hour before closing, that sort of thing. Then you can have a good poke about, opening doors, looking where things are without the pressure of other folk there.

I

Ha, yes at least I didn't end up modelling my swimwear in reception, silver linings and all that 😄 I did very nearly walk into a tree on the way back to the car (don't worry I'm British so I apologised to it!), but that's just standard issue ineptitude not special gym edition.

As a long term gym goer, please be reassured that whilst I might know a few people in the class, pool, changing room, I am in no way judging a newbie. In fact, at my gym, we cheer you on and congratulate you for making it through the door and finishing your first class! We were all newbies once.

Keep going OP.

Op i don't suffer from anxiety.i do have very low self esteem and am extremely self conscious though if that counts at all.

I always wanted to join a gym bit thought I'd be laughed at and that my arse Kd thighs were too big to ever wear sports leggings etc.

Years later however I bit the bullet and can honestly say that it was the best thing I ever did. Everyone was the newbie in the class once. The people I've spoken too are lovely and we are all there for the same reason. We are adults and no ones there to judge or laugh amd no one wants anyone to feel unwelcome.

The only way you are not going to be the one who has no clue what they are doing etc is to keep going. Walking through the door is the hardest part.

So get your arse down there. You will feel so much better for it!💐

Thank you. That's really cool you found such a good thing you enjoy. Also, I love your username and I have asked myself that a lot over the years 😄

I'll take the advice about going at quiet times and I do now have a rough pool timetable, and yes, a class had just finished. My instinct when I got home (after crying then pulling myself together with a cuppa) was actually to book on to one of the aqua aerobics classes, on the basis that there would be a group all doing the same thing at the same time to tag along with and I could have that first dip without the lane and goggles angst at least. Does that sound ok?

Arrange to meet a staff member there when it’s at its quietest and quiz them about these things. Complete the swimming routine while it’s quiet

Going to the aqua class was literally the thing I was going to suggest, for the exact reasons you said. A chance to get to know where everything is and how it works without having to navigate lane etiquette and goggles. You've done the hardest bit already though I think. Good luck!

You made it into the changing room, that's good. That's a start. Small steps forward matter.

Yes, get on the aqua class! Great idea!

AH OP, you sound lovely, If it happened to be my own Gym you have joined, I would like you instantly 😇
You'll be fine after a few sessions and forget all of this.
People will be happy to direct you.

Hi, I just thought I'd update.
I did indeed find my big girl pants and went to the aqua class yesterday. I was the youngest by 30 years I reckon, but it was a good workout and good fun 😆 Having something "booked" made it easier somehow to walk in. It's one of those places where they make it as windy and hard as possible to navigate, but when I hesitated which way to go to get poolside the woman behind me asked firmly if I was going in and briskly directed me through. I introduced myself to the instructor who was lovely, and gave me the heads up where to go if I wanted to avoid the "regulars" spots but I suspect I still got it wrong. I wondered if I'd managed to annoy all of the local gym-going retirees in my first 5 minutes, but the original brisk woman caught me afterwards to ask how it went and had a lovely chat, and a few others followed suit in the changing rooms.

I had intended to go for an actual swim this morning and felt ok about it, but have woken up with a streaming cold 🤦‍♀️ I'm trying to decide if I'm using it as an excuse, but honestly I don't think it's the right thing to be sniffing and sneezing my way around when I can just wait a few days.

Anyway, thanks all for being lovely, it really helps to talk these things through. x

Glad to hear it went well for you! Don’t worry about annoying people, you all have just as much right to be there. It was nice of that woman to chat to you. Well done for going!