Cat Etiquette..?

[Umph]

Our NDN has recently acquired two (sibling) kittens. They are about 4-5 months old. Our own kitten/cat is 9 months old. NDN’s kittens have been allowed outside for a couple of weeks now. The cats all seem to love each other. Watching DCat teach the little kittens to hunt out the back window is utterly adorable.

However… the kittens have realised we also have a cat flap. I’m not bothered by this particularly as long as DCat is happy. They are still fairly nervous of new people and mostly run off if they realise we are near. On the one hand I don’t want NDN to think we are stealing her kittens (and we have done nothing to encourage the kitten invasion). On the other hand, I don’t want to have to foot the bill for a more expensive cat flap to stop them coming in either!

What’s the etiquette here? Do I tell NDN her kittens keep appearing in my kitchen? It’s not like she can really stop them! (Personally I probably would have waited a while longer to let them out as I don’t think either of them have been neutered/spayed yet, and they might have been a bit more attached to home if left in a while longer!)

One of our cats did try to steal a neighbour's kitten so we went and got her one from a rescue.
It wasn't unusual to see up to eight cats sunning themselves in our back garden.

I think cats are either lions , happy in a group, or tigers, prefer their own company.

DCat seems to enjoy their company but he’s been off adventuring (read: exterminating rodents) all evening whilst they’ve been popping in to look for him!

Can you switch out your flap for a microchip one?

Those poor little kittens really shouldn't be out so young and certainly not if un-neutered, which means they're probably not chipped either

Our neighbours cats all come in our cat flap, only problem is they can't get back out that's when the chaos ensues as they fly round and round till we open the kitchen door. In the summer they come through the window or doors if they are open. God love em

Definitely tell them. I think you’re going to have to invest in a microchip one. There’s nothing else you can do to stop them x

You need a microchip cat flap for your cats' safety as much as anything else.

If your neighbour is letting unneutered kittens out I would definitely invest in a microchip cat flap because chances are they'll not get round to getting them neutered which means when they hit sexual maturity you'll have the risk of spraying (if they're male) or them having their kittens in your house if they're female.

Get a microchip cat flap for sure. This time it's friendly kittens, next time it might be an unfriendly neighbourhood bully. I didn't even consider installing a non microchip one tbh, it's like leaving your own front door unlocked and wide open!

It's definitely worth having a chat with your neighbours. One of our cats befriended a neighbour's kitten, we talked to the neighbour and they were happy for him to move in with us because he was terrorising their older cat. He's still with us 11 years later.

I hadn’t thought of this. It’s one of each as well! Recipe for disaster!! At this rate there’ll be new kittens to adopt in a few months anyway 🙄😒

We live in the arse end of nowhere and there was a relative cat vacuum before DCat came along so it hasn’t been an issue until now!

Terrible to hear they are out without being neutered. They are much more vulnerable. Boys turn very adventurous and girls can get pregnant so young (or attacked by mature males). Can’t you tell NDN some horror stories to persuade her/him to behave more responsibly?
My neighbour let a 4 month kitten out and it was never seen again (probably a fox).
And yes you need a microchip cat flap. You can’t exactly train a cat.

That’s horrific 😭

She asked a week or two ago if DCat was neutered as her girl had been hanging around him. I was fairly horrified that this had only just occurred to her! (He is, obviously!)

Are they a sibling pair?

That's heading for disaster.

You really need a microchip cat flap for your cat's safety - an in season unneutered female will draw strays and unneutered Toms from all around to the area.

Uh ... sorry, how do we know they're not neutered?! The OP says they are 4-5 months old, so surely it is likely they have just been done and are now being allowed outside.

I would agree that the best idea is a microchip cat flap. If it were me, I'd mention to the neighbour that the kittens were coming in, yes.

Because NDN approached me to enquire if MY cat was neutered in a manner that suggested that her female kitten was not. No idea about the male one. However the vet surgery local to us (obviously they could be registered at any vets) recommend 6 months or 2kg as a minimum and I don’t think either of them are quite that big yet.

Can you not ask her straight out? If nothing else, that might lead to a conversation about how important it is for her to make sure they do get neutered!

Some of vets surgeries will recommend 6months/2kg as an ideal, but 4-5 months is the recommended earliest age and many surgeries will be happy to do it at this time if there's a good reason. For example, our kittens were rescue ferals, born outside, and they were desperate to get back out. They didn't hit 2kg until well into cat 'adulthood' as they're very tiny, but they were neutered at 4 months and have been happy outdoor cats ever since. If you do get to talk to your neighbour, maybe raise the point that many vets will neuter at her kittens' age?