My daughter will only eat chicken nuggets and toast (basically)

[hutsch]

DD(4) is so limited on what she'll eat now.

It really does consist mostly of (in meal times):
Chicken nuggets
Chips
Toast
Chocolate spread sandwiches

Her snacks do vary, but in terms of meals, we have so little to work with.

It's really getting me down now and stressing me out! Meal times are such hard work. Knowing her diet is so poor is horrible. Having her never sit to eat tea with the rest of us (other DC are good eaters) is hard, but she never likes what we're eating. And I do feel it is embarrassing now - I never thought I'd end up with such a horrendous eater.

Has anyone been through this? And have any advice?

My autistic daughter is similar also. Very limited diet. She's actually vegetarian but doesn't eat vegetables

l have one of these😖spinach on a good day until she gets bored. Olives, tomatoes ( sometimes) and cucumber ( sometimes) not overly keen on cheese either😞

l give her a multi vitamin.

Well why don't you get her diagnosed?

@IncompleteSenten

I used to hide more healthy stuff and lie my tits off. my "cheesy mash" for example was that colour because it had carrots mashed in.

If I had my time over I'd never have introduced them to crap in the first place. Biggest mistake I ever made, showing them that chips and chicken nuggets bloody existed.

DS eats a lot of pizza which he might have been better not introduced to - but the thing is when he was three and first willing to try pizza it felt huge as it was an extra thing he'd eat, and anything extra felt like a win. Just being willing to try something new was huge.

Just before Christmas though he discovered he liked brussels sprouts, which felt like a major breakthrough atm as he won't eat carrots anymore. His diet largely consists of cheese and ham sandwiches, apple and cucumber, chicken and potatoes or plain pasta with grated cheese.

My eight year old dd used to be like this! Although a chicken nugget would have been a breakthrough. Pretty much all she would eat was broccoli and cheese and the occasional bit of cucumber (as long as they weren’t touching on the plate). Luckily she has always drunk milk happily otherwise I’d have been struggling on protein.

Something clicked and she started liking chicken, then certain shapes of pasta, and eventually potatoes (that was a celebration worthy event when she suddenly chose a jacket potato for school dinner)

Now she loves roast pork as well as chicken, has added carrots and sweetcorn for veg, and even eats chips if they’re crispy enough, along with roast, jacket and mashed potatoes. Still with nothing mixed or touching or any sauces or flavours but we can go out for food now without having emergency food in my handbag.

Over Christmas we introduced noodles and they are game changing as both DDs like them with everything.

I didn’t do anything special, just insisted on school lunches so that she would get exposed to food with added peer influence; and gave it time.

My four year old has a much wider range - she particularly likes mixing foods and having sauces on things.

Hopefully you’ll find it’s just a phase.

Children (and adults) with such restrictive diets rarely do it for fun.
Both my DD and DSD struggled with texture in foods - no lumps, pips, bones etc. DD has only recently (aged 16) found a few sauces she likes (curry!) But has refused ketchup, gravy, mayo, anything mixed up or in a sauce for years. No jam, no to sandwiches, no to pizza. She also doesn't like food touching but is getting a bit more relaxed about that now.
The good thing with beige food (and even more so if you prefer one brand) is it tastes the same every time. It's familiar and reliable.
I found offering other beige/predictable food was more likely to be tried by my phobic children.
Both DD and DSD eat differently to they did as children - DSD now has a pretty broad range and DD will actually try food now.
But in the immediate future, my advice would be to feed your child what they will eat in the form they will eat it. Offer additional items but no bribes or conditions and offer no comment or praise for eating. Just eat it/don't eat it. Take the stress out. Just think of it as calories in and add a multivitamin.

You were working with some pretty shit dieticians

Oops sorry, failed quote

What are you basing the assertion that the OPs DDs health is at serious risk from?
The OP has not mentioned her DD being unwell.

OP I would just relax about it. Keep giving the safe foods and make other foods available. I always offered the family option on the side with an “ I don’t want” space they could move it to without comment so it was out of sight and smell range.
If there are healthy foods they like, provide them. Vast amounts of smoothies and hummus were eaten in our house over the years.

I think the worst thing to do is make a fuss.

"attention seeking" WTAF!!!!

Stop repeating this rubbish. As a specialist health professional I am telling you it is tripe.

My DS was similar, he still likes all this things but got him eating carrots, meatballs, passata based sauces, hidden veg in this sauce too. He'll drink fresh orange joice so had a small carton 3-4 times a week so I'd say just build on what you can

How did you overcome the problem of your severely autistic child becoming distressed and violent while you were physically restraining them in their seat in order to enforce your non negotiable of everyone eating together at the table even though being next to people eating and all the smells of the food and the noises of chewing and talking were sending them into a meltdown that culminated in them throwing themselves off their chair and repeatedly banging their head on the floor while screaming, leaving huge bruises and then kicking and biting you while you were trying to stop them further injuring themselves or even knocking themselves unconscious?

I'm just wondering how I could have handled things differently and I bet anyone currently going through similar with their autistic child would love to hear your thoughts.

I know every child is different and what worked for yours may not work for others but it's still worth sharing so people can at least try. I'm particularly interested in how you implemented tough love under such circumstances without it resulting in your child severely injuring themselves or others.

From experience. If she will sit with you then have her sat with everyone at meal times. Give her food that you know she will eat and each meal give one extra item, separately if necessary, and just put it in front of her. Don't make any comment on what anyone eats, just everyone get on with their own food. Give a multivitamin if she'll take one. Mine will have the bassetts gum drop type ones.

I know it's really hard, but try not to be stressed or tense around food and mealtimes. We had a period of time where mine would not eat anything apart from one particular type of yoghurt and that would only be eaten with great difficulty. We offered that yoghurt for every meal, alongside a small amount of other things that he would previously have eaten, and made no big deal about it. Eventually we got back to eating a decent range of food, but it was a very very stressful time.

I also agree with the advice about getting all your DC involved in food prep, shopping, growing, etc. My DS also loves watching the chefs at Pizza Express, Wagamamas etc too.

The “don’t want” space is a brilliant idea, I think I’ll try that.

We have a “spares plate” in the centre of the table with things to try on it. So their plates only have what I know they’ll eat and the spares plate (and the adult plates - although the contamination fearing eight year old won’t touch things from other people’s plates) has some carefully segregated other things for them to choose from (extra potatoes and veg usually). The adults usually eat the spares plate but that’s how the roast potatoes came into play - they just looked enticing on the spares plate.

It's hard. My youngest went through a phase of refusing to eat anything! To the point we were so desperate we tried to force feed him complan.

The doctors were useless. He'll eat when he's hungry enough.

Right now I bet every one of you who's been through similar is doing the hollow laughter thing.

Another gigantic mistake on our part, the complan. I wish I could go back and slap myself. He was malnourished and actually stopped growing. I was frantic.

When he eventually started to eat again I was so happy I let him eat anything and everything. Then we ended up with a very fat child but I was scared to try to do anything for years in case he stopped eating again.

Sometimes I look back and wonder if I got anything right at all. My advice when it comes to kids with autism always seems to be me looking back and saying do the opposite of everything I did in the early years and you'll be fine. 👍

@IncompleteSenten

It's hard when you're in the middle of it - there are so many things I wish I'd done differently, so much of what we did was counterproductive and I wish I'd listened to my gut instinct that he might be autistic, but I thought I was just being an over-anxious first time mum as nobody else picked up on anything.

Tough love won’t work if she has ARFID or autism. I’m late diagnosed autistic and my mums’ ‘tough love’ approach to my sensory issues around food just made everything worse. Even forcing her to sit at the table might backfire- I still find it hard to eat around others because the sound of them eating makes me want to be sick!

My neurotypical kids were the fussiest eaters. We pre-fed them before going anywhere. We had tears and fights and I did all of the things. And then did them again to no avail.

They are adults and eat very well. One is a vegan who does not eat bread, but he passes as healthy rather than fussy. The other finally learned to eat vegetables.

My advice is to relax. It works out.

The Shell Beach Why would you laugh at anyones diet? ND or not .Many people like what they like full stop .Very rude and unkind

It really is hard not to stress but being more relaxed can help. I would say she sits with everyone else and has a little bit of what you are having dishes up - not touching in a divided tray. Also do some fun food activities, with no pressure to try, but she just might. Pick your own, grow some tomatoes, make pizzas, shop, watch food related tv etc

My Ds barely eats anything. It’s really hard. He won’t even touch your typical beige food stuff like chips or nuggets either

White bread sandwich with cream cheese, no crusts
Greek yogurt
Plain pasta with butter (sometimes)
cheddar cheese
Fruit (all fruit) - it’s our only saving grace. But low calorie.

Thats actually the only main foods he will eat. He’s really tall, but underweight. It’s impossible to feed him out anywhere.

My children were both like that. My daughter in particular only ate chicken nuggets and cheese scones at one point. Now they're 11 and 13 and eat much better. The 13 year old will eat pretty much anything. She'll try everything and then may decide she doesn't like some things but has a very varied diet. My 11 year old is still quite fussy but does eat balanced meals, even if the meals are a bit odd. Tonight he's having vegetable soup, chicken drumstick and pasta.
Neither of them are autistic.

I have a child who has a restricted diet (she eats more variety than many PP but doesn't eat any sauces, strong flavours, spices or one-pot type meals.) Initially I felt I had to try and help her learn to like different foods but this made her distressed and I really felt that she "couldn't" try things rather than "wouldn't" so about age 4 I backed off completely and made sure meal times were enjoyable times and she just had things she liked on her plate.

I have become a master at extracting bits of dinner for her before sauce was added e.g. browned mince, pepper sticks, raw mushroom (weird but she loves them) and plain pasta with cheese in a little pot instead of spaghetti bolognese. It's more work for me but her attitude completely changed and with no pressure, none of the "try one bite" etc she completely relaxed and began to eat with pleasure and the benefit of mealtimes meant it was worth it. I think she is a supertaster and her tastebuds just work differently to mine. Over the years she has tried lots more things but always initiated by her, I never force her.

I see it that food is the main thing she finds hard; she's 15 now and kind, polite, clever and hardworking, its just one area where she needs more support so I help her, just like I would if, for example, she found reading hard. I've had my fair share of comments over the years but I don't care, she's happy, healthy and has no stress around food.

She will be fine. My DD just used to eat dry ham sandwiches, roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings when small.

It’s tough. I have one autistic child who has never eaten anything that is ‘too sensory’ - this is most foods! He could be worse and is better now age 12 than he was when younger but it is repetitive with an emphasis on ‘the same’. Never eaten any meat or fish or eggs.

other child is a very fussy 8 yr old but ‘normal’ fussy I.e. it changes what he likes on any given day, only dull veg, if it is healthier he probably doesn’t like it etc.

Your dd is very young still, I would accept the limited diet, give multivitamins and see how it naturally develops. Make other foods available to try and she might gradually widen it up a bit.

Hi @hutsch
Check out this AMA I did last year - in case you think your DD might have ARFID… for some reason the link goes straight to page 5 but just click back to start for the whole thread 😊
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/AMA/4756890-parent-of-young-person-with-arfid-avoidant-restrictive-food-intake-disorder-ama?page=5&reply=130796143

I feel your pain. My 4 year old eats garlic bread, sausages and grated cheese. That's basically all the dinner foods he will eat, he'll eat the batter from chippy fish and occasionally the fish. I think it is a control issue with him, I have no reason to think he has any other issues. It's very hard to serve the same thing again and again when the other two children start wanting only sausages as well.... it's very hard not to get upset frustrated, etc. He won't taste anything. He's often hungry but he still won't eat!