Essentials for 1 and 4 year old

[HopefulHayley]

Hello,

I am (hopefully) soon to become a parent through adoption. The children we are hoping to be matched with are 1 and 4 years old.

We are trying to prepare our home and get everything we might need for them, and it feels very overwhelming right now!

I was looking for suggestions of things we might need for two boys aged 1 and 4. Their foster carer has told us that they have lots of toys and clothes already, and we know we need to furnish their bedrooms, etc. but I am worried that I will miss out on something essential. Can any parents suggest anything they think would be useful to have for a 1 year old and a 4 year old?

Thank you!

You might want to make a book telling the story of what's happening, eg kids came from this home, you and dh wanted to look after children, you got beds ready then they arrived - 4yo and you can fill in with details of what you do, how you feel. Not too dramatic - what you have for tea etc.

We made one of these when ds had a hospital stay and it helped us all to process a difficult experience. Gives child a chance to have a voice in things.

A shelf or surface where they can put their favourite things that they have brought with them, and be able to easily find them for reassurance.

If you don't have it already, I'd suggest signing up to Amazon Prime - that way once they have arrived, if there is anything you find missing, you can get it next day delivery without having to disrupt those first few days of bonding traipsing out to the shops.

Good luck - I hope everything goes well for you all

I have the basics for small grandchildren here at all times:
Bubble bath
Calpol
Piritese
Flannels/sponges
Toothbrushes
Toothpaste (we have 2 different flavours but we are indulgent....)
Sudocrem
Basic nappy cream
Nappies/pyjamas pants/waterproof bed pads
water proof undersheets
high chair
Bibs/sleeved aprons
plastic mat for the floor under the high chair
booster seat for chair at the dining table
teething stuff, to reduce pain
Lactulose (for constipation)
Sun cream
spare pants and socks
a special cuddly for bedtime
car seats
sick bowl(s)
Wet wipes
Nappy sacks
changing mat
bin for dirty nappies

I am sure there are lots of other things as well!

Most of the things I thought of have already been suggested, but I don't think this has: a bubble wand. Ours comes to the park, the beach, pretty much anywhere we're out and about. It's our most used outdoor toy, even though we have balls and bikes and all sorts. The 3 year old loves using it and the one year old loves watching - it often distracts her if she's upset because she's fallen over etc.

Oh yes plasters. I always have some
in my bag also as my 3 year old is healed miraculously with a plaster, even on non existent wounds. He can fall in a pile of sand and the dramatic leg falling off scenario is fixed with a Paw patrol plaster.

You’ll know this already but try to replicate what they are used to at the foster carers. So similar meal times (is it a high chair? What type? Or a low table with chairs?). Does the older one use plastic crockery or adult plates etc.
a nice set of kid size cutlery is a great buy and can be a sentimental item too later.

transport: contrary to above poster I wouldn’t go for rear facing seats for the 4 year old unless that’s what they used in foster care - vanishingly unlikely. Yes there’s a safety benefit but you are trying to minimise the mental health impact from all these changes. Similarly, unless the little one used a carrier with foster parent then I wouldn’t introduce it straight away for u. Go for a buggy as similar to what they had as u can. Was 4 yr old ever in a double recently? Or buggy board? Having a cosy spot to retreat to might be good when overwhelmed. Plus most 4 yr olds are only just out of buggy and you’ll be expecting yours to be at a younger developmental stage due to how much they are processing.
so a cheap double like an out an about nipper for long soothing walks might be a good buy.

Car seats!

Bean bags for throwing indoors - look up the different types of sensory stimulation kids need. Vestibular, proprioceptive etc.

As others have said try to match some things to the foster carers - I read once to get the same fabric softener, particularly for bed sheets? Smell is a sense we often overlook.

And a buggy board!

All the best OP 💕

For the toilet we highly recommend the Family Toilet Seat.

Do you have photos of birth family? We are adopters and have these around the house. It's a good way to drip feed their story.