Should I be worried about my little boy increasingly becoming a grumpy old man?

[butteredcrumpetsandjam]

He’s 7. He’s always been quirky, aloof and strong willed. He’s very bright and creative and has an inquisitive mind so likes to explore things and mess about with gadgets and tools and make robots and stuff.
Hes generally quite charming and witty and likeable, but…
He’s not social around other kids, he doesn’t join in and despises group activities. He prefers the company of adults and quiet spaces.
for example:
’it’s Tim’s birthday party next week, will you go?’
’no. It’s (venue) and it’s noisy and the foods terrible. Say I’m away’.
or
’your teacher says you’ve been getting on really amazingly with Jamal and you’re a great team on the technology project, would you like to invite him for tea?’
’no thanks. I see him at school enough’.
and
‘wow it was cold today, bet you were freezing at lunch!’
’I never go outside. Maria lets me help her wipe the tables in the dining room and then I go to the library and tidy up with John’. ( verified with teaching staff he is nearly always indoors voluntarily cleaning rather than playing outside as ‘he hates noisy kids running about and they sometimes knock into me’)
Apparently they started letting him do this as he always just sat on the far corner of the playground with his coat over his head telling people to go away if they came over to him.
He stopped attending any birthday parties about 2 years ago. He’s never been on a play date or hosted one. He doesn’t see any of his cousins and I don’t have any friends with children so outside of school there aren’t really any opportunities to meet kids.
at the weekends he always asks me to take him to the same galleries and museums and restaurants. We have a nice time.
I don’t know if I should worry at all or just accept that he likes his peace and quiet.

Any thoughts?

I was a bit like this as a child. Hated having to play outside with the other kids in breaks, I didn't like the rough and tumble and also hated getting barged into. Happiest in the school library attempting to work my way through every single book (this was a clear goal for me at 7yo). Also preferred getting to talk to grown-ups about grown-up things to playing with other children. My best friends at school were similar to me, in secondary school we all used to go to the library at lunchtime and read the newspapers. We all excelled academically.

Ironically I became a huge party girl in my 20s (no regrets, it was a lot of fun - just evidence that a reluctance to socialise at school doesn't lead to being a loner forever) and discovered a passion for exercise and sport in my late 20s. I sometimes see schoolkids doing their cross-country when I'm out running and it always tickles me that I used to be most like the ones lagging sulkily at the back.

Your son sounds excellent by the way. Interested in culture, enjoys cleaning, knows his own mind and won't do things he doesn't want just to fit in. He'll go far, I think.

I was like this as a child too. I hated other children and their noise and mess. I am a bit introverted now and have few friends, but have a brilliant well-paid career, hobbies, and home. IMO just let him explore things on hisi own and try to introduce him to different hobbies and interests

Gotta say I.love him already.

He sounds like the 7 year old future version of my currently 3 year old boy, who is awaiting an autism diagnosis! I love all the little quirks he has and eveything you mentioned my 3 your old does, except for the telling us he doesn't want to go somewhere in coherent sentences! If he doesn't want to go somewhere he just screams! 😂 Your little boy sounds wonderful! ❤️🤗

Love this ❤️

I'd say it's something ND, my son is like this and diagnosed with Aspergers which as you probably know is autism and depending on where its diagnosed, comes under the autism umbrella, rather than a separate category. But the needs of someone with Aspergers are often different from autism so it can be a bit frustrating looking for information or getting support. My son had some other sensory issues so his diagnosis was expected. It doesn't sound like it impacts your DS much yet so seems manageable. He sounds like my friends DS who underwent assessment but fell short of the criteria for a diagnosis. He has some autism traits, it's possible your son is the same.

It doesn't have to be autism, I don't think. I was like this as a kid and am NT as far as I know.

He sounds like an awesome little Dude with his own unique personality ❤️

@butteredcrumpetsandjam his honesty made me 🤣🤣 again familiar. My youngest wanted a memory stick for uni work, I said he could wipe mine if he emailed me the old photos on it. He sent it with the title 'wow you were young and pretty once' ........he wasn't being rude just completely honest🥰