How do I get a life again .

[Susa1]

Hey everyone ,

My While adult life I have always had a goal/plan and made things happen in life but these last few years have been really tough and I am more lost than ever . I have three children oldest 17 middle 13 and youngest 2 who are my world . I have lost my way in life and don’t know how to regain control.
I have always worked ft provided for my older kids as a single parent worked hard to provide a nice life and it was a good balance . Fast forward a few years I meet my current partner we have a baby together and I gave up the job I had as it was long hours which didn’t suit with having a young child. I get another job which was even worse had to quit because of childcare . Now my youngest is showing signs of autism and needs more care than a child her age. I feel I can’t work now cause my baby needs me and at the same time my 17 year old is going right off the track not doing anything with his life drinking smoking out to all hours to the point I thought he was in danger after not coming home the other night and none of his friends had saw him so called the police for help they found him at a party and now he hates my guts . Life just feels so hard and that’s not all the house we stay in is my mums we rent it the agreement was to buy it at a certain price after so long as she wanted me to have the house for the kids but now she wants to sell to help my sister pay her debts and I don’t know what to and if we want to buy it it’s 80k over the price previous agreed which we can’t afford 🙈😩 so just wanted to rant as I’ve no one I can talk to about this .

Sounds really tough!! Trying to bump your post

Is your DP supportive?

Can you buy a different house and sack off your unhelpful family

My partner is good but not always now he is saying cause of my sons behaviour he won’t buy a new house for him to move with us as we need a 4 bed . I don’t know what I am going to do I have no income apart from my partners and I don’t feel I can work while my child is so young and needing me. Plus we have to find a new home soon .

Are you married?
Is your mum making you homeless?
I would try and get housed on your own tbh.
Maybe seek advice from shelter. I think your partner's problem with your son could get worse if you get somewhere together in his name only.

No brilliant advice, just empathy OP. Feeling the same really. All my adult life helping care for my sibling who died recently, now my parents are elderly and my teens seem to need me more than ever and it feels the career and life I wanted has disintegrated.

Relationship is strained after already giving things another go after a break, but kind of okay. Buying somewhere together is totally out of our reach in anycase, and we're overflowing in half finished projects across our own seperate places, neither of which are suitable for us to move everyone into. So a hugely sympathetic "Meh" from me.

Not sure if you're married, but it sounds like you're not (no judgement from me, I regret my unmarried position too). How is your partner with your youngest? Would he consider reducing his hours to be with him more and so you can work a bit?

2 is such a tough age without any special needs, so don't be hard on yourself, especially with the teen thing going on at the same time!

Work might be a nice break for you, as well as keeping your hand in for the future, even if it's just one day a week. Might be worth speaking to your council as you may get higher up the list for housing due to your son's needs.

She is saying my sister has debts after her marriage ended and she’s can’t get credit cause of her debt apparently she’s got to clear her mortgage by June was a shared ownership and she’s to pay 25k by then that she doesn’t have or lose her house . So to help her not lose her house then the home I rent is to be sold to help clear it . Even though she has no kids and I do and know where to go and I have so much going on with my kids atm . Iam going to have to get part time work and try get a rented place for June then hopefully in time I can buy my own place that me and the kids have security.

Not married . Partner has a well paid job in management so he won’t reduce his hours and he is on at me to get a job he says other parents with young kids work but I honestly don’t think I can unless it’s only 2 days per week or something that I can be there if my kids need me . My youngest doesn’t sleep great and lucky if I get 3 hours a night . Trying to keep it all going with doing house work etc is exhausting the now .