I have an older sister. During our childhood she was fairly awful to me, hitting, name calling , yelling at me, making me do stuff I didn't want to do. (our parents were also pretty horrible but that's another story)
after I had my ds we got closer which was great, then I separated from my husband and she split with her boyfriend and we became a support network for each other. We became really close.
But over time some of the bullying started again, shitty comments, putting me down. This was quite triggering for me and I didn't confront it.
Over the years it got worse and I started to back away. She moved away which I thought would help but it got worse because she would visit for a few weeks at a time and would stay with me but be awful a lot of the time. I find myself walking on eggshells.
Over the last couple of years she has improved, she stopped staying at ours due to lack of room and because she had a couple of falling outs with my dd . Seeing her for shorter periods of time did help and she hasn't been as aggressive .
But I still have my barriers up, I just can't trust her. she recently talked about moving home and was annoyed when I didn't respond excitedly , she kept bringing it up insisting there must be an issue. And in the end I snapped and basically told her how she had bullied me for the past 12 years.
She was taken aback and didn't seem to recognise any of her behaviour. I feel like I've made a huge mistake in telling her. Given that things had got better in last couple of years I feel like I've opened an unnecessary can of worms.