Engagement rings

[Brazilagogo]

If your partner were to propose to you and you hadn’t previously looked at engagement rings or discussed what your preferred style was, would you be happy if he chose the ring to propose to you or would you prefer a proposal without a ring (or a token ring) and then to go shopping for the ring together?

Asking for a friend 😊

So a mixed bag. I’m impressed that so many of you have had perfect rings, and I can understand the sentimentality of the gesture and the preciousness even if they weren’t what you had imagined. I’m definitely going to push him to try to find out what style she likes and he can decide what he wants to do.

I can only give you my experience. I chose my ring. We discussed getting engaged and married. He knew I was quite particular about my taste in things. He didn't want to get it wrong. I said I would pick a few rings I liked and let him choose but in the end, I only liked one ring. He bought that and kept it for a few months. He proposed in a quiet part of town outside a tea/cake place we both liked. It was thoughtful because he knew I would like a say on the ring, he picked a place to propose we both had a connection to and he kept the actual proposal a surprise which meant he could plan a part of it. It worked for us. We got married two years later.

Ultimately it depends on the couple. They should have a discussion about what they want and go from there.

Choose your own ring but go together.You're the one wearing it after all.

I still love mine and DH wouldn't have had a clue on his own. I wouldn't have got one that he disliked but he agreed with my excellent choice!!

We shopped for a ring together, post proposal - it was part of the fun. It was a long time ago, but I never wanted a proposal with a ring - if I think about it now, I imagine it could have come across as a bit patronising ("this is what you'll like, dear") and disempowering (not a word we used much in the 80s!).

My husband proposed with a diamond in a tiny leather pouch. Then I chose the setting I preferred.

20 years later, if I was choosing a setting today, I would go for a "rub-over" setting. No prongs to catch on things.

I got a token ring.
Neither of us would have had any clue about what size or style - because I just didn't wear rings.
I've had (and worn for 15 years) a style of ring I never knew existed before we saw it.
I still have the token ring, but haven't worn it since mine was made - although it was way too big and I nearly lost it several times!

I’d have hit the roof if he’d chosen a ring without consulting me. I hate surprises especially when its important. He did ask if I would marry him but no big proposal. I said I would but didn’t want a public engagement at that point as I needed a while to get my head round it all (I hadn’t really been thinking about marriage at that point TBH and the thought of an actual wedding was frankly terrifying). We waited a few months and then went shopping for it together.

DH chose my ring with no input from me, it's exactly to my taste and I still love it

I’ve suggested a lucky bag ring plus a diamond to do exactly this, but that suggestion didn’t go down well.

Whatever he chose for me would be special purely because he chose it. I don’t want to have to pick my own ring, and I would like there to be one when he asks me. I don’t need anything fancy, and it doesn’t have to be a diamond or anything - I just want something well made that I can wear every day for the rest of my life. The important thing for me is that he puts in the time and effort to choose something himself.

I think I’m in the minority though! 😄

This is what we are doing, so I need to keep the choices pretty narrow 😂

If I’m going to wear a ring, I want to pick it!