ADHD'ers, do you feel like this?

[AttractingDickHeadsDisorder]

I find keeping to commitments really hard, whether it's something I've booked myself or a scheduled play date, I get unbelievably stressed in the lead up and just want to bin it all off. I don't want to do anything, with anyone.

I had laser tattoo removal booked for this evening and the cinema tomorrow with a friend and our daughters. I've had to cancel the laser appointment as it involves 2 hours of travel and it just feels like too much on top of the cinema trip tomorrow. I can't deal with two 'things' so close together (even though they're a whole day apart)

I probably sound ridiculous to people without ADHD, I just cannot cope with 'things' the way neuro-typical people do. Anything that I don't actively want to do causes me so much anxiety.

I have three DC, two of which have autism, and I just don't have any motivation left for anything else. I just want to lock myself away with a book or a podcast.

I've spent most of the day so far stuck on the sofa procrastinating and dreading the cinema trip tomorrow. My friend is lovely but is somebody I feel I have to be very 'on' for if that makes sense?

Does all of this sound typical of ADHD or am I a complete weirdo to boot?

I'm exactly like that OP and I'm autistic and have ADHD as well.

Just sounds like introversion not ADHD

Yes! Thank you for posting this op and everyone else on this thread, I feel so less alone, I spend so much time beating myself up over feeling like this. I'm late diagnosed ASC and suspected ADHD but I haven't had the assessment but am on the pathway. My dd is autistic and also now on the waiting list for an ADHD assessment. My dh we also think is autistic. He's much better socially than me and dd though.

I found doing things and socialising easier before having dc too, always hard since I
can remember but these days so much harder and at times impossible. Sometimes I wonder if it's burnout? Or caused by a lifetime of masking, and never knowing why I seemed different to most other people?

I think what you are describing is 'spoon theory', easier to Google than explain.

But it is basically where you have an finite amount of energy resources (spoons) & once they are used up, like tokens, you burn out. So a cinema trip is lots of spoons, leaving very few to allocated to everyday life stuff.

Yes that’s all very familiar . It’s so frustrating

🙄🙄🙄🙄

She isn't saying this is the only ADHD trait she lives with. If you look at almost any trait of ADHD or ASD in isolation you could say "oh you're not ND that's just XYZ". Stop invalidating people's lived experiences and diagnoses.

Yes yes yes!! All of this 😂
The night before any holiday I'm desperately wondering why on earth I booked it and wishing for any excuse not to have to go.

Don't ask me why but I watched the Tyson Fury documentary and he's exactly the same. Booking holidays all over the place and then getting really anxious because he doesn't want to go anymore.

He's not exactly a introvert is he? He is diagnosed with ADHD though. It'snot 'just' introversion. Introversion doesn't tend to negatively impact a person's life to this degree.

I haven't got ADHD but feel exactly like this about holidays, social events & work. I can even be hypothetically looking forward to them and then when the time comes, anxiety hits e.g. flying, pressure being around people, desire to stay in my safespace at home, wanting to cancel/hide. Like others have said cancellations are the dream outcome, not a disappointment!

The route cause may not be the same but the impact on the person is?

There are plenty of people out there who lockdown was a welcome relief from social norms for not just those with ADHD/autism. @darkmodeera just as you don't want ADHD to be minimised, why minimise how introverts may feel?

@AttractingDickHeadsDisorder hope your trip out went better than you thought and you have some lovely time to enjoy being solitary at home now

I'm not the one minimising. Perhaps read your veryown post for that @Kangaboo 😂

@darkmodeera eh? what exactly am I minimising? you are the one saying 'just' introversion, like people can just shrug off how that makes them feel and behave?

https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-are-an-introvert-2795427

This is so true! Even things that you've spent months eagerly anticipating become crushing obligations.

The OH gets a bit like this when he is really anxious. Unsure if an ADHD thing or an autism thing. I agree with a PP re spoon theory. Personally I am probably autistic without ADHD and I know it's easy for me to reach limits of activity really quickly. I plan to do a ton of stuff or a ton of work and half way through I realise I am totally burned out and simply don't want to continue. I get over stimulated and my brain won't shut up and it becomes impossible to relax or sleep, which just stresses me (and him, poor sod) out even more.

It takes a bit of self discipline and learning, but I am getting better at pacing myself.