How to solve serious self-esteem/confidence issues at work?

[roamingcat]

Hi all,

I'm in a bit of a ridiculous scenario at work at the moment. I am utterly convinced I am doing a terrible job, my work is rubbish and no one in the team likes me. This is making going into work very stressful, and I usually feel on the verge of tears at least once a day. I'm also hyper-sensitive to everything going on around me and I'm terrible at getting myself wound up e.g. if other people are given tasks I immediately start thinking it's because I'm rubbish and get myself upset.

When talking some of this through recently with my manager she indicated that there is no issue with my work at all, and everything I have produced is competent and she thinks it's more likely a confidence thing. I have had this happen in previous roles where I felt like I was doing a bad job, but the feedback indicated I wasn't at all.

The hard part is - how do I fix this?! As work is such a big part of your life, this is making me really unhappy but I don't know how to get over these self-esteem/confidence issues. I am generally a happy positive person (when it comes to everything bar my own performance) so it's clearly needs a bit more than just trying to think positive.

I would be really keen to hear any suggestions people have or if anyone has felt similar - I know it's a bit of a weird problem to have!

Sounds like imposter syndrome is causing you anxiety. It's a very common thing to have (especially for women!) but yours does sound quite extreme. Poor you. Talking therapy might help?

How old are you? Could peri menopause be causing your anxiety to spike?

Feel the same sadly, even doing a role I’m over qualified for. Hopefully, someone can offer some good advice.

You have my sympathies.

At my last job I tried to hold on to the thought that they hired me for a reason and that they thought I had something to offer. Peri absolutely makes these negative thoughts worse, I agree.
I left the previous job because of a micromanaging harridan who shredded my self esteem. Even though I was more experienced and no threat to her at all(family member of the owner, she wasn’t going anywhere was she).

I'm only 29 so hoping it's not peri menopause yet.

This is a good point about being hired for a reason, I will try and hold onto this - thank you.

I am very like this to the point it actually destroyed me at my last job. I have via therapy found the source of my low confidence, I have abandonment issues and they translate into work. I feel like everyone hates me especially my boss, then I act weird around them because I think they hate me… Then I start to dislike the job, I feel even more and more incompetent and then I actually start to make mistakes making me feel even worse and eventually give up.

Could it be something like this or an insecurity that you have manifesting as imposter syndrome?

I should add that I was very good at my job and well qualified for it but I just completely fell apart.