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Extreme lack of sense of direction - dyspraxia?

47 replies

DirectionlessTurkey · 01/02/2024 16:49

Ever since I was a small child I've had this secret problem that I've been ashamed of - I get lost everywhere I go. I cannot remember directions even if I've been somewhere numerous times. To this day, as an adult, the only place I know my way around is basically a few streets (five minutes walk) around my childhood home where my parents still live.

I get lost in people's houses, in buildings, in offices, in doctors surgeries. As soon as I have gone through a door, once I leave I cannot find my way back again. In supermarkets, I can't remember which way I've come from once I reach the end of the aisles.

I'm lucky that google maps exist because everywhere I've lived I've needed to use them to go anywhere - even places I go regularly. When getting taxis to places I've lived for years I pretend to be new to the area to explain why I can't aid with directions even once we are almost at the destination.

For me, every time I turn a corner it's like being picked up, spun around and placed somewhere randomly because I suddenly have no idea where I am or where I've just come from. Sometimes I look behind me and don't recognise things I've passed. I try to remember routes. I try to pay attention. I try to remember. I try and memorise and look for landmarks and repeat them to myself. But it's like my brain does not absorb it at all.

To put it into perspective, I have lived in my current home for over a year and the only route I know is an L-shape down the street and turn right to one specific shop. I need google maps for anything else including the playground I go to regularly (5 minutes walk away) and the high street (about 7 minutes walk away). And yes I have tried without google maps and yes I have ended up lost and gone completely the wrong way with no idea where I am.

I've always felt that it's something similar to how people describe dyslexia but for directions instead of letters. It's like I cannot learn them. I have always been academically reasonably intelligent, have a degree and a job that requires high-level knowledge. My memory is otherwise fine.

I have some other physical issues. I've never enjoyed going for walks, especially while talking to people as I cannot concentrate on walking while they talk to me. Apparently most people don't have to concentrate on walking. If the ground is in anyway uneven (like a very slight slope) I have to really focus on where I am putting my feet.

I cannot drive. I've had probably 100 hours of learning (spread over a few instructors and over many years) and still could never stay in the correct position in the road. I kept veering off. I couldn't steer. Couldn't turn. I have no spatial awareness and cannot judge the speed of oncoming traffic or space between vehicles. I would also struggle to take notice of all the different things at once like hazards, road signs, checking mirrors etc. When I had to look in my mirror like at a roundabout I always felt like I couldn't take in the information quickly enough. I ended up giving up learning as I do not think I would ever be safe.

I am completely unable to read a map unless I can physically spin it around to orient it in the right direction with me which is why google maps works well.

I have always been terrible at all team sports or anything requiring physical coordination like skating or skiing. My fine motor skills are fine. I've always been able to tie my shoelaces and write (although my handwriting is a little messy but nothing extreme). I'm simply quite bad at a lot of things. I struggle to cut vegetables. I have grown up with video games and played them regularly but still cannot play games where I have to react quickly or steer or aim.

I was always so embarrassed growing up and had no idea what was wrong with me. I find ways to pretend and have little techniques I use to try to hide it but it takes a lot of energy.

When I was younger I used to dream of being a "scientist" and later specifically a psychologist so that I could do research and find out about it and give it a name. That didn't happen but I did later find out, as an adult, that my grandmother (who I only saw once or twice a year growing up) had exactly the same problem as me. I really wish I'd known and could have spoken with her about it. Once I found that out, I started to wonder if it's an actual real "thing" that has a genetic element to it. Googling found stories of people exactly like me who were describing exactly what I had always experienced but there didn't seem to be any label for it. Some people coined the term 'geographical dyslexia'.

I later came across someone online who had the same thing and explained it was a symptom of their dyspraxia. I did a lot of googling and do identify with a lot of the symptoms but the lack of sense of direction only seems to be mentioned sometimes and is not one of the main symptoms. I'm wondering if anyone else has the same and if they have dyspraxia / it is linked to dyspraxia.

To be clear, it is not the same as not knowing my left and right - although perhaps it does take me a second longer than most adults to think of it, but nothing major. It's that I have no sense of direction, no spatial awareness and am unable to memorise even basic routes even after doing them many times.

I have an ADHD diagnosis which I pursued for the sake of medication. I know no treatments exists for dyspraxia and that a lot of places won't do adult diagnosis but part of me would like to get assessed just so I know and also in case my children have the same thing.

While the symptoms are going to stay the same no matter what, I would really like there to be a label that explains it. There are adjustments that would help me at work but I am simply too embarrassed to try and explain as is because I worry people would assume I'm just stupid. What triggered this is that my grandmother passed away recently. We weren't very close or anything but it made me think about the "shameful" secret we shared and if I will ever find an answer.

OP posts:
ThinkingAgainAndAgain · 01/02/2024 21:40

DS has dyspraxia, and in the assessment process, I recognised a lot of the traits in myself.

I have a lot of what you describe, but to a lesser extent. So, I can drive, but it took me about 100 hours of lessons. I can dance, and have good balance, but I really cannot hit or catch a ball. I thank the heavens every day for the invention of sat nav as it opened up a whole world to me when I needed it, I’d have been very isolated otherwise. I bump into things constantly, have a dreadful sense of direction, drop things and lose things all the time.

However, I don’t think I am severe enough to meet the threshold for diagnosis.

DS has different struggles.

hiredandsqueak · 01/02/2024 21:41

suggestionsplease1 · 01/02/2024 17:17

Sorry posted too soon. Their experiences were similar but possibly more extreme than yours in that they could not recall the layout of their own home despite having lived there for many years and would have to search for correct drawers in the kitchen as they would have no recollection for where anything was kept.

They would regularly have to ring their partner or parents if they went out on their own to describe what they could see in front of them so that they could be stay on the phone and be given directions on how to get home, I think they couldn't manage with Google maps easily.

In sports they would not know which goal they were aiming for but had no motor co-ordination difficulties that I recall.

Yes! I get lost and have to send photos so that somebody can help me find the way home or back to somewhere that I can find my own way from (even only a mile from home on a walk I have done multiple times before) and again was hopeless at PE because I never knew which goal was the one I should be aiming for.

tatyr · 01/02/2024 21:55

TheWeight · 01/02/2024 17:42

If you read about proprioception, it is the ability to sense what you're doing or where you are in space. Poor proprioception (which, btw, is common in neuro diverse people, including those with ASD & dyspraxia) can cause a lot of the problems you're talking about.

Proprioception has more to do with your own body's location in space, so allows you to put on trousers in the dark, touch your nose with your eyes closed, telling if you are putting weight evenly through both feet. It's a sense within your joints and muscles in a way.

Topographagnosia is probably the right term for OP's directional difficulties. They are describing many of the features of dyspraxia, and along with ADHD, they possibly all feed into their experiences.

As an adult who's had this difficulty all their life, you've probably already found many compensations and adaptations to allow you to go about your life. Please don't feel embarrassed by asking at work for any alterations for your neuro diversity that will make your life better. If you're aware of what you need it's a simple fix. A lot of people struggle with different aspects that they can never put a finger on, so the more self aware you are, the better in that regard.

parietal · 01/02/2024 22:23

Topographagnosia - that's the word. I knew there was one. Thanks @tatyr

DirectionlessTurkey · 01/02/2024 23:51

I just wanted to pop back in to say that I've not just posted and left. My DS hasn't been feeling well this evening so I haven't had chance to properly go through everything and reply to everyone yet but I will. Thank you so much everyone for your responses and support

OP posts:
aitchteeaitch · 01/02/2024 23:56

One of my friends has a truly terrible sense of direction and she's dyslexic.

Arewefucked · 02/02/2024 00:09

My family are convinced that I am dyspraxic …loose keys,phone etc every day, am clumsy, trip over air,terrible handwriting that I have to concentrate on ,difficulty pronouncing unfamiliar words and cannot run without spinning my arms and spend many hours procrastinating over which supermarket I go to,where to walk the dog etc etc !! I could give so many examples TBH !

Fandangoes · 02/02/2024 00:11

I also have a diabolical sense of direction. I get lost constantly and still can’t find my way around our local town centre - which only has 2 parallel streets! Like somebody else said, I just can’t picture how they all fit together. My DH despairs at me and can’t understand how I can possibly need directions to somewhere I have been to a million times before. Or why I need directions to get back from somewhere I have just been. It’s a running joke in the family, if we are out together they all sort of hang back to see which way I turn because it will always be wrong! I have also always suspected I have adhd but never been tested

tatyr · 02/02/2024 07:57

It's incredible how much variation there is, and how much work our brains do without any effort to keep things running smoothly! I am blessed with the skills of a homing pigeon, but sadly numbers are my downfall, even keeping a 6 digit number in my head long enough to write it down is to much for me. And I'm good at faces but not names. I'm fact memory of facts /events is pretty poor altogether and I only get by because I keep comprehensive diaries and notes of meetings at work, and a family Google calender at home. Thank heavens for compensation methods!

MyCatHasStaff · 02/02/2024 17:19

It's quite comforting to hear that I am not the only one like this. I get lost all the time. I panic if I have to drive somewhere unfamiliar (basically everywhere). I definitely don't have dypraxia or ADHD, but I think I have DTD - developmental topographical disorientation. I've only just found any information about this, I found an article about Canadian research. I used to think it was topographagnosia but there are subtle differences.

When I first read about it, this bit really stood out for me: 'The problem is that they have an absolute inability to create mental maps of their environment, something that most people do without even thinking about it. Normally, people can recreate a pictorial representation of their route in their mind, but people with DTD don't have this ability.' Blew my mind. Is that what happens with other people??? I absolutely cannot do that.

They seem to think that it's parts of the brain that can function perfectly well individually but cannot work together.

whatisforteamum · 02/02/2024 17:44

On the list for ADHD assessment and feel like I have dyspraxia.
No sense of direction.
Did drive for decades locally.
Can't dance or catch a ball and was hopeless at team sports.
Bash into things.
I could cry realising this in an actual thing.
Have to think left and right for a second.
Always bruised.

Ecstaticmotion · 02/02/2024 17:45

Look into dyscalculia for the directions issue.

friendlyflicka · 02/02/2024 17:51

Curlygirl06 · 01/02/2024 20:09

My sense of direction is phenomenally bad. I could give you a million examples of getting lost in shops, houses, roads, toilets but you get the picture. It's the family joke. I'm clumsy, trip over fresh air, walk into the bed, stair gate and coffee table several times a week, drop things, knock things over.
However, I can drive and my fine motor skills are fine.
I have no "mental picture" of places; for example I know where the next town is and I know where the nearest town in the next county is but I can't "see" where they are in relation to each other, so I couldn't travel from one to the other if I didn't have road signs to follow. I'd have to go back to where I know to start from and start from there. Maddening.

This is me completely. If I start in one direction, I assume that is the way I am going and don't notice any changes of direction after that unless they are at right-angle crossroads.

I am constantly fascinated looking at local and global maps, learning where things are in relation to each other but I can't keep that memory at all.

Sat nav is like a guide dog for me. I couldn't drive anywhere before it's invention.

BreakfastAtMilliways · 02/02/2024 18:13

Hmmmmaybe · 01/02/2024 21:20

@Diversion wjy doesn’t sat nab work for you?? I LOVE it - it’s just do whatever it says and I panic and don’t take a turn it just patiently adjusts

I can’t speak for@Diversion but I and my DBs and DM find navigating new places very difficult. I also have prelingual hearing loss. This means that even when I have heard an instruction perfectly, I am slower to react than someone with normal hearing. My brain tends to go into ‘check - are you sure?’ mode automatically and it takes conscious effort to override it. This also means that I’m less able to react to road conditions and changing traffic. I hate spoken satnav!

I have one of those satnavs that gives you a map of the junction on the dash, plus the direction you’re facing, and I find it much easier to glance at those and marry them up with the road signs. (If necessary I will find a place to pull over safely and figure things out with an old fashioned map).

MuddledMadge · 02/02/2024 20:19

I'm like this. It's interesting / reassuring to see it's the same for others.

DandelionDahlia · 02/02/2024 20:52

I have no sense of direction and also can’t remember faces.

In my head these skills are linked.

notknowledgeable · 02/02/2024 21:00

DandelionDahlia · 02/02/2024 20:52

I have no sense of direction and also can’t remember faces.

In my head these skills are linked.

Yes, I am face blind too

Thewishingchair123 · 02/02/2024 21:09

I’m the same as the OP and many previous posters ! Can’t drive, and if I could I think even with sat-nav I’d struggle to get anywhere! I can’t picture how different areas are linked together. No idea which way to turn out of a door I’ve just entered or any big building! Im the worst person to ask for directions if it’s more complex than a couple of corners.
I struggle with sequences - not great with technology and remembering the order of how to get to somewhere on a system!
Im left-handed and often wonder if this is more common in lefties ? I know there’s a link between being left-handed and dyslexia. Interested to know how many on here are lefties?
Its reassuring that we are all not alone x

MuddledMadge · 03/02/2024 14:30

I can't back from my ds's school without help. We once turned it into a game of "Follow Mum Home", to see if I could, and I just walked us round in a big circle 3 times before admitting defeat.
My son saw this as a fun, positive thing saying "We could literally play this game everyday if we wanted. I bet I'm the only one in my class who could play this game with my mum."
If we go out to restaurants and I need the loo, dh knows to come and find me if I don't get back for a while, as it means I've got lost finding our table.
I can walk back from work, but it's not because I can remember the journey. It's because I can kind of recollect the street names I need to look out for. I say kind of, because if I'm feeling stressed or unhappy this information seems to desert me. I can't remember the order of the streets either. It's just a sort of vague feeling that the street name is familiar.

Once when I was particularly stressed I couldn't find my way to work. I ended up bumping into an acquaintance and tearfully explaining the situation. They were so sweet. They dropped me at work.

This is quite a long post but I wanted to share in case it stopped anyone feeling stupid or alone with this.

My mum knew my issues growing up but I was definitely taught it was something shameful that must be hidden.

I once went to the boys' toilets at school because I literally couldn't find the girls' ones.

I ĺìterally couldn't understand what people meant when they talked about "left" or "right" I didn't really get the concept. It daunted on me that "left" and "right" were unchangeable facts when I was about 11.

I can't take drinks from people. They have to be placed on the table for me to pick up. I feel like my brain can't work out how to take the mug out of someone's hand fast enough!

Lose stuff constantly.

These days I am open about everything with everyone. And everyone has been sooo lovely. Smile

I have never met anyone who has admitted to having these problems.

Thanks for starting this thread

Bambooshoot · 03/02/2024 15:54

MyCatHasStaff · 02/02/2024 17:19

It's quite comforting to hear that I am not the only one like this. I get lost all the time. I panic if I have to drive somewhere unfamiliar (basically everywhere). I definitely don't have dypraxia or ADHD, but I think I have DTD - developmental topographical disorientation. I've only just found any information about this, I found an article about Canadian research. I used to think it was topographagnosia but there are subtle differences.

When I first read about it, this bit really stood out for me: 'The problem is that they have an absolute inability to create mental maps of their environment, something that most people do without even thinking about it. Normally, people can recreate a pictorial representation of their route in their mind, but people with DTD don't have this ability.' Blew my mind. Is that what happens with other people??? I absolutely cannot do that.

They seem to think that it's parts of the brain that can function perfectly well individually but cannot work together.

This is really interesting! It’s exactly like me, I get lost easily (the worst is at work meetings in a new building, if I have to go out to the toilets, I’m terrified of not being able to find my way back to the meeting room even if it is only a few doors down, very embarrassing). I can see separate parts of an area in my head, but can’t get them to link up in any way that would help with navigation.

I didn’t know it was the norm to create a map in your head naturally - that seems like a super power! I also have face blindness, and never managed to pass my driving test, but no issues with motor skills or executive function etc, and reading/spelling all fine, (though numbers are tricky and seem to dance about on the page). Nice to know I’m not alone!

prettycosmos · 03/02/2024 16:27

I have this same problem with directions. Like lots of others will panic if I need to go to the toilet in restaurant etc as will always struggle to find my way back to my table. I do drive, and very much rely on stanav these days. But even with that I have to have sat nav on for journeys I do every day (eg home to work)I absolutely can NOT picture places/routes/directions/maps in my head. The numeber of times Ive tried to explain this to my dh drives me mad as he just does not get it. He will start trying to give me directions to somewhere and after like the frist 3 words Im totally lost and it means nothing to me and he gets really frustrated. Sometimes for work I go on conferences/study days ...always get paniced at break/lunch times as struggle to find my way between rooms in the venue. Hate big department stores as can never find my way out. Actually hate shopping all together mostly due to this. It's awful tbh and I have to say it has had a significantly negative impact on me all my life. Like others, I always try and cover it up - which makes it worse - and somehow see it as some sort of failing, or something I am doing wrong that I should be ashamed of. No idea why really. I am actually a very intelligent and capable woman in most other areas of my life!
I will say though that I am not neuro diverse and dont have any other symptoms of dyspraxia/dyslexia etc so I think this is something different, although obviously may coexist with other conditions.

Jimmyspiano · 03/02/2024 16:46

OP, I totally relate to everything you have written. I am exactly the same. I can not remember routes that I have been using for over twenty years. I particularly agree with what you said about struggling to interpret the information you see in the mirrors when driving. I have a poor sense of direction, spatial awareness, judgement of speed and distance, coordination, balance, hand eye coordination etc, etc. You are not alone.

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