Learning to drive at 45 - help!

[Youdrivemecrazymagic]

So I'm mid 40s and I've never learned to drive partially due to living in big cities and partially due to a traumatic car accident I survived at age 17.

Two years ago I had some lessons (manual) but then was forced to stop due to lack of childcare.

I'm not sure whether to continue with manual lessons or switch to automatic. I feel a lot more confident I could drive with an automatic, but the family car (driven by dh) is a manual which DH won't contemplate changing (he hates automatics). I don't really know how much it would cost to buy/insure/run an automatic as a second car and when I've tried to talk about it with DH he just wants me to learn manual. He also doesn't take it seriously that I will go back to lessons so it's hard to have a proper conversation (in fairness to him it's something I've always vaguely talked about, but there have always been reasons I didn't follow through - fear, lack of money, lack of childcare.)

I'm just feeling very confused on what to do and I don't want this confusion to turn into another reason I don't get those lessons booked so any opinions/advice/help on whether to persist with manual or go for automatic would be appreciated!

If you see my post history you'll see my journey learning to drive at 35 in an auto (I just passed this month at now 37!) I started off at 27 doing some lessons in a manual but never really took to it. I learnt this time around in an automatic and its much much easier only really having the road to worry about rather than gear changes and stalling. Might cost a couple of grand more getting an auto car but in my experience it was worth it! My other half tried to encourage manual but I'm just glad to be driving and not stressed out about it all!

Automatics are great. Very easy to drive.

I got an automatic car age 45 too!

I did have a driving licence but had barely driven for 20 years - so I needed refresher lessons.

Driving properly so late made me really appreciate it 😀 as the wonder it was.

However if you don’t have an automatic car at home and are not going to get one, it’s not clear what you are meant to do?

Either force your husband to get an automatic, or get a second car?

If things are still unclear just now - nevertheless go ahead and get your driving licence!! You can always pick up later with refresher lessons as I did.

Ive been driving for 25+ years now and am a bit of a petrolhead. Always scorned automatics in favour of manual for the "real" driving experience, total wanker I know.
Around 3 years ago a car I really wanted came up for sale but it was the auto version, but I went for it anyway.
Changed cars again at the end of last year back to a manual, and although you get used to it fast, my god the automatic was easier and ideal for lazy driving.
Ive totally changed my mind about them and they're infinitely easier in stop start or town traffic.

I think husband should start considering your feelings on the matter tbh. Yes manuals are "the cars for drivers" but time has marched on and automatics are nowhere near as guzzly or prone to gearbox trouble as they once were, and are (imo) superior for a relaxed and easy drive.

If one manual wanker can climb down on the subject after experience then perhaps your husband can as well.

Hi OP I’m in the same position as you, in fact 90% of the people around me family/friends/colleagues ALL say I should learn manual. But why make it harder for yourself? You’re already nervous and most of the cars in the future will likely be automatic anyway. I’m going to stick with automatic and try and get a second car and see how I go.

The only issue I’m finding is the lack of automatic cars for sale as I’d need 2 drivers to come with me (one to drive us there and so they can drive theirs and the new ones back) and apart from my DP no one else wants to help. So just bear that in mind when you look to buy one. If I don’t find one in the next month I might have to reconsider my options.