Diminished ovarian reserve, perimenopause, 37 advice pls

[Rosiestraws]

Sorry if this ends up long...

I've been on these boards on and off for a few years. I had a long relationship where my ex was unsure about kids. As kids were essential to me I decided to try and freeze some eggs and during this process I found out I had diminished ovarian reserve (amh of 0.8 pmol at just turned 34). Over many cycles of egg freezing I managed to freeze 12 eggs at age 35-36. I also had a chemical pregnancy the one month we tried properly to conceive. I finally ended the relationship for good at the beginning of 2023.

I am now 37, in a relationship of 7 months with someone who I love and can see a future with (and vice versa) but obviously still lots to learn. He knows about my fertility issues etc. I've had irregular periods but still ovulating and still having a period every month for the last 3 years (ie when I started egg freezing and started paying attention to this stuff!). I had anomaly cycle of 40 plus days in 2022 but then normal until in Oct 23 I had a 42 day cycle followed by 2 fairly normal ones. I've been going through a very stressful time at work this year and had some hot flushes/ night sweats and waking up at night since Jan. I've had anxiety in the past so unsure which is the chicken and which is the egg!! Now I'm on day 42 with no period and I've been to gp and had bloods done and my fsh is 45 which they think indicates peri menopause given my history but I need to go back in 4-6 weeks to have another one to confirm.

I'm devastated but also unsure what to do. It feels too soon to put forward the idea of trying for a baby (also due to a genetic condition with my partner we'd likely have to do ivf to screen embryos anyway) but my other option seems to be to try to do it on my own and presumably end my relationship to do so as I can't imagine he'd be happy staying with me if I try to get pregnant using a sperm donor. I'm also not even sure I want to do that and if I could cope on my own. Although the egg freezing was supposed to reassure me, I always wanted it to be last resort... now it's looking like that last resort time might be coming sooner than I realised. I know the stress of work etc might be linked to the fsh being so high and delaying my periods.. has anyone had experience of this and then ovulating normally again after?

Should I wait longer before deciding on the baby alone/ suggesting baby to partner route? How long am I likely to stay "fertile" enough for an embryo to implant anyway?

So many thoughts and worries to process...

[Rosiestraws]

Moved from Infertility board to chat to see if I get any responses....

[Rosiestraws]

hopeful bump...😔

[howdoyoulikethemweeds]

I'm so sorry that sounds really difficult. I can't comment on the peri-menopause questions.

In your shoes I would speak to my partner and see what they say. He'll either say yes or no and you'll know where you stand and better be able to make a decision.

Hopefully someone else has some more comprehensive advise.

[lilyboleyn]

If it were me, I’d be pursuing getting pregnant asap… because in the nicest possible way, it might be now or never. And if it’s too soon to decide with him, and he wants out, you need to decide what’s more important to you - this boyfriend or the opportunity to be a mother. But only you can make this choice.

[Crushed23]

@Rosiestraws Hi OP, I hope you’re doing well. Did you talk to your DP about it / end the relationship?